Revenge of the Raggle

[Whalefall]

I'll take a ticket thank you! ^^

[Zanthor]

Ah wonderful we have our first entrants! I am so glad you all have such great passion for such things! Now as per the fine print be sure to make it to the Scarlands by six a.m. sharp for your mandatory twelve weeks of-

What do you mean we're not doing that?
Crazy and inhumane? You said it was good!
"Spare my feelings"!? Oh that's it's I'm totally gonna spare your feelings.
That sounded better in my head...

Ahem, sorry for the, er, delay there folks. There was a mix up with the, er, flux capacitor. Yeah there was er...quantum foam everywhere! Big mess, but all good. Hah, and don't worry folks the ragdoll beagle project is years from being co-
Uhhhhh years from ever being an idea anyone had had. Yes, that uh, er, quantum foam sure did a number on my vocal cords, making me say funny thing. Cough cough
What do you mean I can't just say "cough" with an Italian accent?

Uhhh, in any case, congratulations to you all for your shiny new tickets. May they bring you great luck!

[CasperGhostMode]

May I please get my free ticket

[Trissan]

I'd love a ticket if there are any left!

[shadowlugia]

Giving the ol razzle dazzle and snagging a ticket aw yeeeee

[vdB141]

May I get a ticket please, thank you.

[Nicoleknb]

I’d like a ticket please! Thank you so much

[kunigund]

Ah, I guess I'd also like to have some quantum foam... I mean, a ticket, please. Are the tickets made of quantum foam? They look weird.

[Kestrad]

Hey you. You know what you did to my penguins. Giving me a ticket is the least you can do in return.

[Zanthor]

Any left? Mmm we did print a few thousand, but then somebody thought they'd look better as a pile of ash. Haha yeah somebody, who'd be dumb enough to do that? Ahem, look it seemed like a good idea at the time, you know we could wipe the ash on entrants faces like some sort of ceremony. Then I remembered that the tickets were printed with lead based ink, which isn't the best thing to be smearing on people's faces. Really I did you all a favour! In short the real tickets have been in your hearts the entire time. The budget was only big enough for one round of printings...

Razzle dazzle you say? Heh, no no, no razzle dazzling going on here. Not at all! Totally legitimate prizes and tickets, yessiree!
They wouldn't let me.
Scam!? It's a legitimate game!
Well of course no one can win the good prizes.
Then what the hell is a raggle!?

Wait wait, you can make tickets out of quantum foam? Ah man I wish I knew that before I sold it all to that well dressed gentleman. Haha a totally legitimate transaction there, just like the raggle! No illegal doings going on here! Well unless any of our entrants are doing illegal things I suppose...
Shh they don't need to know I dumped it in the stream!

The penguins? Oh dear, right yes. You know that a favour was being done! Yes yes, the jam, and the glitter, and the application of cruel and unusual tort-Ahem that is to say...Tourtiere! Yes yes when the penguins seemed unhappy we fed them delicious tourtiere, which was cruel because, uh, they can't make it themselves. What fun times were had with those penguins! If only they were still pretty and glittery...
You can't prove I used penguin meat.
Well, uh, you won't tell anybody.
Yeah, well, I have a mouth and mustn't scream, so there.


Ahem, ignoring that last bit, er, we're picking up some weird radio signals alright! Damned kids always making prank radio plays. I do believe that we do have a ticket available for each and everyone of you, be sure to always keep it in your heart!
Well, not literally, we're totally not liable if you shove a ticket into your heart.
How could we be liable for that!?