Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Three Is Up!~

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MagicDream1
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Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Three Is Up!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Chapter One: A Hellhound
Spoiler
A young female magi with curly chestnut hair going down to her shoulders and jungle green eyes, named Aero crept through her dark keep, her dark purple cloths blending in. She hadn't been able to sleep that night, she was worried about her new injured Koi who she had recently rescued a few days eariler and was now working on healing him and trying desperately to find a good home for, but nobody seamed to want Koi...
She reached the keep but before she was able to go inside, she heard a weak growl. Am I hearing things? I am, aren't I...? she thought, she had never heard anything that sounded like that. Aero ended up at a bush that had grown up the side of her keep, and at the bottom was a Hellhound pup, probably no older than a week. Other magis had told her that Hellhounds can be dangerous if they want to, so she started to think she should back away, but Aero then noticed blood running down from the pups belly, and on its left back leg. The young magi then automatically walked closer to the pup and eventually next to it. She talked softly to it, "Hey, come on, I won't even think of hurting you, you can trust me." The gave a startled whine at the sound of a human voice, as if it had never heard one before. Aero reached out a hand and gently pet the creature while still talking to it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, come on." She spoke softly and gently, as to calm the hurt Hellhound.
A few minutes went by and eventually she was able to gently pick the Hellhound up and scoop it into her arms and bring it to her keep. The Koi watched them, the intrest showing in his dark eyes and his lavender scales shining under the light of the keep. Aero set the Hellhound on the ground gently and started to clean the wound and bandage it.
When she was done, she walked away and watched the Hellhound as she, yes, she figured out it was a she, limped around the keep, investigating her surroundings careful, not to hurt herself. She growled at a reflection on the wall and swatted at it playfully then watched the Koi swim around in the water then took a quick drink of it.
Meanwhile, Aero was deep in thought about now trying to find a home for the two creatures she now had. After she helped them and got them healthy again, was she going to keep them? Who could she trust enough to care for them? She figured for now, at least, she would have to watch over them and make sure they didn't injure themselfev further, especially the Hellhound. She then realized she needed named for them... The Koi, with his swift movements in the water, would simply be named Swift. But the Hellhound, she needed something that really fit her... Fire Burning. That fit didn't it? Yes, Aero thought, That fits her just fine. Then, without meaning to, she drifted off into a light sleep.


Chapter 2: Willow Tree
Spoiler
The young magi woke early the next morning at Fire Burning pouncing on her stomach. "What the-" she mumbled, still half asleep. Once she was more awake, she picked up the hellhound with gentl hands and placed her on the ground next to her as she stood up. She walked outside her keep and Fire followed. The dark creature looked even better in the sunlight, the light brightening her dark fur, and she looked like she hadn't injured herself any more than she had been before.
Aero was an unexpirenced magi, still very young, but she knew enough to care for creatures of all species.
She went wandering into the forest that wasn't far from her keep, the injured Hellhound close at her side, looking around throught the bright green leaves with morning dew still on them. Aero sat beneath a fairly big oak tree with bright green leaves and thought about waht she was going to do with her life in the future. I could have an adoption center and help injured creatures and find them homes...? That was what she wanted to do, but did she have enough gold to go through with it? It would be wrong if she charged an adoption fee... Would other magis donate to her to help her out a bit...? Probaly not... but she still wanted to help injured creatures.
Fire Burning laid her head on her new master's lap after curling up next to her but jerked her head up after a few minutes at the sound of leaves russeling. She suddnly stood up and limped over to the noise. Aero followed, afraid she would lose the Hellhound or that she would hurt herself again.
When she reached where Fire had gone to she saw what looked to her like something with black and white splotches and maybe wings. As she stepped closer she froze as she saw a mother Pinto Pegauses with a sleeping foal, its small fragile wings folded against its body. The mother snorted and looked at Aero and the Hellhound. They weren't far from her keep... Would the mare and foal follow her back if she offered them a treat or something? They looked pretty skinny and wait, what? The mother looked like her wing had something wrong with it, maybe it looked a little bent. Wow, Aero was surpirsed, she had just gotten a
Hellhound, and now here were two Pintos, that she extrimely wanted to have and care for in her keep. Am I supose to just leave them here...? Am I too caring? Maybe I should just leave them? No, I can't just do that... she decided.
Aero went to search for an apple tree, or something that had a treat for the mare. If the mare walked with her, the colt would follow. She soon found an apple tree near the willow tree she had been at and picked as many apples as she could then wandered back to the horses. She saw Fire Burning still watching them, but she was just a pup, not any danger to anyone yet, she probaly didn't even know how to hunt yet.
The magi then went up to the mare and set an apple about a yard away from her and her foal then stepped away and watched as the mare stepped wariely forward and snatched the apple up. Seeing as his mom was walking away, the colt stood up on wobbly legs and followed the mare, wings down. As the mare searched Aero for more apples, the magi could see their ribcages and set anoter apple down and did this untill they had reached her keep. The mare and foal had followed when she had set the apple down but Aero now held one out in her hand. The mare didn't even think about taking it, but she stared at the magi, waiting for her to set it down like she had with the others and she eventualy did.
While the mare was eating the apple, Aero put the remaining two apples just barely inside the keep then walked inside after Fire Burning had limped in the doorway, now ignoring the pegausi.
Aero kept checking on the mare, who was gradualy making her way to the keep and the last apples.After a few minuted the wild mare stepped into to keep with her foal following next to her, loking ike he had no worries about anything. Aero watched as the foal trotted over to the pond and started drinking the water thirstly and as the mare did the same.
Aero shut the door and watched as the mare looked up at the noise of the shutting door then went back to drinking. Then Aero got some food for them which she kept in a storage room. She had always wanted to have every animal, which she knew was very hard, so she had a bunch of foods, all different according to the animals' needs. The mare trotted slowly to the grain and started eating but when Aero tried to pet her she shied away and didn't go back to the food untill the magi had gone away from it. Aero decided then that she would get the mare to trust her somehow and fix her wing and get them healthy and fit again.
This would be the start to Aero's healing keep.


Chapter Three: Visiter
Spoiler

Aero woke early the next morning at knocking at the door of her keep that sounded like the person was angry at something. As she got up, she saw Fire Burning barking at the pounding and the two Pintos slowing beginning to wake from the corner.
As the magi saw who was at her keep she didn’t know if she was seeing right. She saw a thin young man with neat, spiked blond hair, and dark brown eyes at her keep. He was about average height, and he wore clean expensive robes that were hanging a little loose on him. He was a well known and very rich and talented magi, but he was also a spoiled brat, having no patience and many creatures, unlike Aero, who had a simple three. His name, was Brott
Aero opened the keep door and he looked at her and yelled, “Take it!” A small bundle wrapped in a blanket was shoved into her hands. “It is not Albino, we don’t want it, I have been told to give it to a peasant.” With that he turned on his heels and went to the keep next to Aero’s and shoved another bundle into that magi’s hands. Aero could faintly see a Dire Wolf in the magi’s hands before she went back inside to see what was wrapped in her blanket. As she felt it moving she set it down and a small Nandi Bear cub ran out from the blankets and rammed into the wall. Aero walked over to it and gently touched its fuzzy dark brown fur. The cub looked at her then softly bit her hand. She pulled her hand away and brought out milk and meat for the cub, not knowing how old it was, she thought it would chose which one it wanted, but it wanted both.
Aero brushed her copper hair out of her face and looked around at her keep. There were four rooms in her keep and a few closets. One closet was where she kept supplies for each creature. One of the rooms was for her, another was the main room, this room, where she kept the current creatures she had, and the other two were just empty at the moment. She also had outdoor room, and the creatures could go in and out of there as the wished. The small pond and thin river flowed from outside and ended at the pond after veering right.
As her wild bright green eyes stayed on the Nandi, aero tried to think of a name. It didn’t come to her instantly like it had with the others, and she still needed names for the Pintos, but those would come easy to her once she thought about it.
After thinking of names she had heard before, Aero settled on the name Broth. She had no idea what it meant, or if it even meant anything or was a real word, but it was the best name for the cub she could think of at the moment.
She then walked slowly to the Pintos who had been drinking at the pond before they had heard her coming. The mother perked her head up and her ears came forward. “Hey girl,” Aero said calmingly. The foal then trotted outside and put his head over the fence of the outside area. He was so quiet, yet he somehow acted like a storm. He was like a silent storm, or silent storm. Quiet Storm…, she thought. It was a good name for him, Quiet Storm. “You like that buddy, Quiet Storm?” The foal looked at her, his big dark eyes searching her and his small wings pressed against hid fragile body.
Aero then turned to the mare. She moved with grace as she started to canter along the widespread fence of the outside area. The grass out there was fairly long, and the foal became barely visible as he moved farther out. The mare would be a nightmare to train, but most likely worth it. A beautiful nightmare, that would be her name, Beautiful Nightmare.
A smile crept onto Aero’s face as she watched them, and as Fire Burning moved out into the grass and started pouncing at a butterfly.




Note: This is not my best story, but I do hope it is decent and people like it :) I would love it if people posted and said what they thought about it or if I need to fix anyhting! Cridesum is the best advice, and I don't mind it one bit. :) I'll be posting more chapters soon! :wave:
Last edited by MagicDream1 on February 2nd, 2011, 5:44:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Bump!
No advice??
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by Pink »

Well, it's a very good start (:
Just keep in mind...
- Some people, like me, have a hard time seeing bright colours like that. It's not really needed, either.
- There are a lot of spelling mistakes, make sure you review over those.
- You say Aero a lot. Try using more pronouns, such as "she".
Hope that helps ^^
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Ok, thanks! :) Which color is bright, (I didn't think they were but... :))
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by Pink »

Well, it might just be my computer screen, but both of them seem pretty bright to me ^^;;
But I have a MAC, so things might be different (:
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Ok :)
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Bump!
Thoroughbred horse racing. It's a way of life.

~Clicky?~
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Two Is Added!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Bump!
Thoroughbred horse racing. It's a way of life.

~Clicky?~
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Three Is Up Soon!~

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Bump!
Thoroughbred horse racing. It's a way of life.

~Clicky?~
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Re: Aero's Rescue Keep ~Chapter Three Is Up!~

Post by MagicDream1 »

Bump! Any coments? :)
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