I don't wanna be in love

[MoiraMoira]

You don't have to read this. This is just where I came to so I can save a story I wrote for only myself.
Yes, this is a NARUTO story. If you dislike anime or Naruto, don't read.
~~~

Alone. Safe. But I was alone. No one wants to feel coldness in their hearts to the point they want to stop living. Sure, the physical pain was gone. But not the mental, the pain that really matters. See, I grew up alone. But the thing was, there were people around me. Only instead of loving me, instead of comforting me for being the only surviving member of my clan, they hit me. Beat me. Sometimes even ran away in fear. The only difference here was that there were no people around to hate me. It made me sad. Yeah, no more beatings. But the missing presence made for a different kind of lonely.

Sometimes I wondered why everyone hated me, though I had an idea. There was this.. mark. On my lower chest. I didn't know what it was, but it reminded me of the fangs of a wolf. It only appeared when my blood was on or near it. Sometimes, when people had hit me, I'd gotten really angry. Then they would look like they were being chased by a terrifying beast and just.. run. It was odd, but I guess it helped out sometimes.

So, here I was. Crouching in a little run-down shack, abandoned except for me, in the Land of the Wind where I had been living since my run away from the Land of the Rock, pitying myself to no end. There were worse lives than mine. But I couldn't help feeling that I was particularly unlucky in this life.

Sighing, I decided to go look for some food. Why not? Nothing better to do. I pulled my average-height body off the floor and headed to the door. It had rained last night. Odd, considering it hardly rained round here. I stared at my reflecting in a puddle at my feet. Wow, so this was what I looked like these days. My hair was as ruffled as ever, shaggy bangs falling into my face, the main black locks coming to a halt at my shoulders. My dark green eyes had lost their glimmer, now blinking dully at they stared back at each other through the still water.

I looked up. Nice timing, too, because just as soon as I snapped back into reality a black shape whipped past my head and embedded itself in the wood of my shelter. My muscles tightened, my left eye twitching in fear yet irritation as it always did. Four figures stood before me. Just who were they?

"Identify yourself." The voice was commanding, but not to the point where I thought of running away. As the figures stepped closer, I began to study their features. One of them, the tallest and most likely their guardian at the time, was a well-built man who wore a supposed mask over half his face. Okay, not so bad. I glanced at the next. She was a thin girl who wore her spikey blond hair in four tight ponytails. She carried with her a large fan, which no doubt was used in battle. Next up was a boy who wore all black. His face was decorated with paint designs, and he wore a hat with what reminded me of cat ears. How odd. And the last was a shorter boy with bright red hair. He had unblinking, pale green eyes rimmed with thick black lines; on the side of his forehead was a red kanji, which I couldn't read at this distance. And on his back was.. a gourd? Interesting.

"Identify yourself to us girl," the man repeated himself, and I winced at his slightly more powerful tone. I looked at them, drawing in a breath. Gonna have to answer sooner or later. I tried not to look as small as I narrowed my eyes against their gazes.

"Azari Desarin."

"And your purpose?" He spoke again.

"Uhm.. No purpose. I mean, not really. I, uh, live here, I guess."

I saw him raise his eyebrows. "You guess?"

"I ran away from my old home not long ago."

"Why?" So many questions.

"Didn't like it there. People hated me for some reason." Was it just me, or was that a flash of surprise in the red-haired guy's eyes? I looked again, and he was back to his emotionless stare. I shrugged it off.

"Hm.. Would you like to come with us? I am Baki, and this is Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara. Temari can help you get by the first few days. Oh, and, Kankuro, stop staring at her like such a pervert. Gaara, stop looking like you want to kill her. " I began to zone out at he was correcting the others. Go with them..? Live with Ninjas, maybe even start training to become one? That was my dream. Why shouldn't I say yes? I wouldn't miss this old place. I shook off the feeling of regret as I gave Baki my answer.

"..Yes." I was surprised to see him so pleased, as were Temari and, I think, even Kankuro.

"Great. You will live with these three siblings. I will be Baki Sensei from now on, and, if you wish, you may train alonside these three."

It didn't take long to reach my decision. "Yes, please!"

"Okay. Good. Do you have any belongings you wish to take with you?" I shook my head. "Let's go, then."

Temari came to me first, happily taking my arm and tugging me after Baki Sensei. "I have a new sister," she sang, and I rolled my eyes. Kankuro followed close behind, seemingly trying to get closer.

I heard Temari shout,"Hey, Kankuro, a kunoichi in a bikini!"

I saw him jerk his head to the side, looking around, and Temari swatted him lightly with her fan.

"That's so mean.." he groaned as he got up and hurried after us, though kept a bit more distance.

"Pervert," I muttered, laughing slightly. This was definitely going to an interesting new life.
~~~

We were in Tem- no, our house. I had gotten cleaned up- though they had forgotten to get me some new clothes, so I was stuck in the same old raggedy stuff-, Temari had shown me around and now she was showing me my room. I have my own room? ..Awesome. She called a goodnight as she slipped into the hallway, shutting the door. My room was next to Kankuro's. Great, why him? I'd rather have the emotionless bastard than him. Gaara's room was on the other side of Kankuro's, and Temari's was down the hall. Pity, if I get molested during the night I have to flee down a whole hallway to get her to beat him up.

It wasn't long after Temari had gone to bed that I realized I had absolutely no clean clothes to change into to sleep in. Crap. I considered my options. I could wake Temari up, and I didn't want to risk pissing her off after she'd been so nice to me. No way in hell was I borrowing something from Kankuro- I won't even consider it. And, last, I could sneak into Gaara's room and steal something, and give it back in the morning. The last option sounded like the safest.

Quietly creeping into the hallway, I stared around at the shadowy walls. I shuddered. Creepy. Pushing that thought away, I walked past Kankuro's room, and saw the door to Gaara's slightly open. Pushing it open, I slipped in and looked around. I didn't look for Gaara, only looked around to see there was anything simple to use. There, a fresh-looking pile of clothes near his little bed. I tip-toed toward it. How convenient, a pair of baggy black pants and a white shirt were laying on the top. Quietly, now.. I grabbed them and began to quickly walk towards the door.

"What're you doing?" A voice made me freeze. Gaara's voice.

"I, uh, well.. I don't have any clean clothes and I thought you wouldn't mind if I borrowed some."

"Get out." I cringed at his glare, and quietly dropped the pants and t-shirt onto the pile. I felt his gaze burning into the back of my head as I left the room, closing his door and letting out a fearful breath.

"Look who's scared of the Sand Boy." Kankuro. Great. Do these people never sleep?

"Would it hurt to say 'hi'?"

"Hi."

I turned around to glare at him. It was weird seeing him without his make-up, paint, whatever it was. "..Oh, look, you even sleep with a kitty hat on. How adorable," I snickered.

He hissed under his breath, and I could tell it was hard for him to ignore that. Huh, I have something to use against him. Awesome.

"So, Gaara scares you, does he?" he repeated from earlier, obviously trying to change the subject.

"I didn't ask you," I mumbled. He smirked.

"Well. Come into my room and you might can get something to sleep in."

"That's what I was trying to avoid."

"Oh, come on. I'll get you some clothes and let you go to your room. I'm not a rapist." Uhuh.

"I'm sure. Look, I'll just sleep in these.." my voice trailed off. A large, puppet-like.. creature was standing in front of me. Three uneven eyes stared at me, sending a shiver down my spine. Its arms rattled as it held out a pair of shorts- though they were more like shorter sweatpants- and a baggy but comfortable looking, red t-shirt. "How.. When di-"

"I'm a puppet master," Kankuro snickered. "Just take them. See, wasn't so hard, you didn't even have to go in my room." I glared at him, but took the clothes gratefully.

"Thanks, I guess," I grumbled as I headed to my room several feet away, feeling defeated. I heard him yawn and we both said quiet goodnights- though mine was almost forced- before disappearing into our bedrooms. Time to change and get to sleep.

..Wow. How much bigger than me is Kankuro? These clothes seemed about twice as big as something I'd wear. Guess he was a lot taller and bigger than I noticed. Well, better than nothing, but at first I didn't like the idea of wearing something he had.

Climbing into my new bed, I felt much better than I had in days. A new life. A new home. A new.. family, though I wasn't sure if the emotionless Gaara counted much. Curling up under my blanket, I felt exhaustion dragging at my eyelids, and I closed them. My last thought before I fell asleep was,What did I possibly get myself into?
~~~

I felt a jab in my side. "Go away," came my mumbled reply. Another jab. "I said go away."

"Fine, I'll take Gaara instead of you to go on the mission." THAT caused me to bolt upright, hissing. And guess what? It was Kankuro, dressed in his black outfit and with new designs painted onto his face. Big surprise.

"Nevermind, you can take Gaara," I growled. No way was I going on a mission alone with him.

Despite my reply, he kept talking. "Temari got you a new little outfit to wear. Now come on, we have to meet Baki Sensei." Kankuro tugged my arm, and I groaned, swatting it away. "Don't make me strip to get you up."

What kind of reply was THAT? I jumped out my bed, glaring. "Fine, fine. But keep your damn pants on." Ignoring his smirk of triumph, I shoved him out of my room, turning to the outfit that was lying neatly on the floor.

I picked them up and spread them out on the bed. Nothing too fancy, nothing too plain. Perfect. I listened for a moment. ..Hm? I edged quietly closer to the door. Tch, idiot was breathing too hard. "..Kankuro, get your eye away from the crack of the door and drag your butt away from my room." A grunt followed shortly after, and I heard his footsteps, heavy with disappointment, fade. I snorted, left eye twitching, and turned back to my new clothes.

It only took a moment to change, and luckily there was a mirror in the corner of my room which I hadn't earlier noticed. My little outfit wasn't that complex, but it was cute. I wore a black dress, similar to Temari's, with a short white short-sleeved sweater that I didn't close around my chest. There was an almost invisble pocket lower down on the dress, where I could fit several kunai knives and shuriken. I had black gloved armwarmers, which I think I was falling in love with, and black leggings, though one side was white from the knee-down. My black-and-white outfit seemed to fit well, and I will admit Temari did a great job picking something that went with.. well, me. Oh, look, she got shoes, too. Temari, you are my new favorite person. I tried on the sandals; they were black with a white bottom. Even the shoes match.. Temari, you are quite the designer.

I heard a knock at the door and growled, preparing to face Kankuro, but it was Temari's voice instead.

"Hey, Azari? Ready yet?"

"I'm not coming out in front of that pervert Kankuro!"

"Oh, come on, you're not that exposed!"

"Still! He'll find a way to, like, look up my dress or something," I muttered.

[MoiraMoira]

I heard Temari's laughter and only scowled even more. It wasn't funny.. But fine, if she thought so, I was just going to stay in here all day. "Hmph." I sat down on my bed that I hadn't yet made, crossing my legs with a huff.

"..You know, you should really learn to lock your door." Kankuro! That little puppet-controlling bastard..

"Get out of my room!" I hissed as I stood, pointing at the door. His whistle as he saw me only pissed me off even more, as well as Temari's laughter from behind her brother. She was supposed to back me up! Eye twitching, I accepted the fact that there was no avoiding this guy, and sulked over to the door. "Asshole," I muttered as I passed him.

I stopped to turn and look at the puppet boy. "So, where am I stuck going with you?"

"Okay, well, basically it's just a little trip to train you."

"We can't do that here?"

"The kazekage wanted us to be alone so no one could.. disturb us." He smirked, and I tried to elbow him, but he caught my arm.