The Orgin Of Manticores (jungle)

[Duzlla]

A long time ago, when the jungle was still young and the spirits of animals and plants began to move into the places that we know. The spirits of plants and animals began to form trees, flowers and all the animals that lived, all the creations was, at first, peaceful. But little by little the feelings in the jungle began to shift. Since all the different kinds of animals were so different the birds and beasts all started to think that their race was better and more refined than all the other creatures.

Then the thoughts of the animals began to turn to jealousy, superstition and hunger for more power and more space in the jungle and soon a war broke out. The spirits in the trees, plants and wind wept for all the fallen animals that had died in the war, and all the hate and blood that was seeping into the ground.

The jungle became a dark place and the spirits came to a decision, to create a guardian and a peace-keeper. From the earth a strong and powerful body was created, black, red and green fur colored the body, colors from the earth, plants and fallen blood. Claws, sharp teeth and eyes peaceful and full of emotion to express all of its feelings.

From the spirits of the winds it was given wings and a whipping tail to take the guardian in a powerful flight through the heavens to watch over the land and animals.

The spirits of trees gave the creature compassion and a sense of pride and justice, to make good decisions.

The creatures body was created and the spirits gave bits of there own souls to give the creature life and a soul of its own.

When the creature awakened and saw all the hurting and sorrow in the jungle, tears started to flow from his eyes. Taking flight and landing in a clearing in the middle of the jungle the creature let out a powerful roar, a roar full of sorrow.

All the animals heard the roar and became still, and searching for the source of the roar, all the animals began travel to the clearing. They quickly gathered in the clearing around the new creature, the creature crying from sorrow and talking about compassion and tolerance to all animals in the jungle. The animals listened and the hate and dark feelings they had disappeared, and the spirits was once again happy.

The peace returned and the animals and the plants started to live in harmony and coexisted again. The creature became the guardian, and the spirits created a mate for the creature to make sure there would always be guardians. Together they guarded the forest and the animals that lived within.

The creatures become the ancestors of a new race in the jungle, the manticores.

[nightbug08]

Hey! This is a really good story! And not to be rude or anything but English isn't your first language, is it? If you want I can refine this so it is easier to read. You get your point across well enough but some of your nuances just aren't there. PM me if you want to or even if you don't.

Thanks

[Duzlla]

Thanks nightbug08 for your help ^^

[Glow]

I don't know if nightbug corrected it or not, but I still see mistakes, mostly with punctuation. Other than that, it's a great story. Interesting and easy to read, that's just how I like them!

[Duzlla]

Problem with punctuation Dont want to edit a second time so I let it be as is is rigth now
But thanks for pointing it out Glow ^^