Spoiler
I walked in the rain for my volunteering thing, made my cold worse and I got to go home early because of it. I wish I didn't, in a lot of ways, but I once I'm home I can only lie in bed which is a pretty good sign I'm not full of shit. I'm getting very wary of my own attitude about these things and the energy I have had for a few days is waning which is horrifing because that was like the only time this year that I felt like a healthy person. I wish I had someone to push me around when I can't bring myself to but everyone I know either doesn't care if I don't get my shit together or actively enables and encourages me. It's all up to me and I know I should be able to do it but it hasn't been proven yet and I can't prove it yet because I'm forced to wait out my prior commitments (which aren't bad commitments to have but)... And my number 1 way of keeping myself together is talking endlessly about it which is why I'm here now. And I won't have anything new to say most days so I just talk myself in circles lmao. Help.