Arcane: the magic begins. *First novel, Open for critique*

[Squidkitty]

This my first story on here. I plan on it having 12 chapters, chapter 2 is mostly a character development chapter. This story has techno-organic transformers hybrids and share it's universe with the transformers universe, so I think it would fit right in around here (then again I could be wrong). Critique is encouraged around here so don't be afraid to tell me what I could do better. Enjoy!
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Chapter 1: A difficult secret.
It’s was Christie’s 5th Move since the year after her Grandfather died. It seemed so unfair. After all, she had only lived A year in Pontiac, Illinois (as was common for her family’s moves) and her family was already moving to Weskerville, Massachusetts, not to mention she just turned 14 at least 4 months ago. “Mom, why are we moving? Its September now, can’t we stay little longer?”She groaned as she looked out at the colorful leaves float down to the ground by way of the cool, crisp, autumn wind. “Because...” Her mother said in a motherly fashion while twirling her short, dark red hair around her left pointer finger, “…Your father got a job at a Chevrolet hover-car dealership (specifically a job as a salesman) in Massachusetts. Now would you please pack your things?” Her mother then pointed to some empty, brown Boxes in the corner of the room. Christie looked at the boxes and sighed “Okay.” While giving a gentle stroke to her copper red hair, she then went to work packing clothes, room ornaments, lamps, etc… Eventually only one thing needed to be packed and that was her magic kit and spell book (with wand of course). Her mother then beckoned her over and asked “Could you please not (publicly) do any magic this time?” Christie responded “Why would I do that?” “Well I think it would prevent a lot of heartache in the long run” Said Mrs.Spatland. Christie grimaced and said sarcastically “Because that’ll definitely work!” She then grimly went outside and sat in the co-pilot seat of the moving van. Her mother came out and sat in the driver’s seat of the moving van and said “Oh come on Christie, please?” She widened her eyes to the point they resembled puppy dog’s eyes. Christie finally agreed (with much reluctance), thus her magical abilities became that of arcane (thus the title of this book series). The moving van and the family hover-car (that Christie father was in) went towards Massachusetts on the express highway, after weeks or months of traveling they finally arrived in Weskerville, MA (which was somewhere near Dunwich). There were bright, clean, metallic buildings of high gloss, blue light bridges, flying, nearly transparent holograms displaying ads and such, and (as was common after prop 85 squared) a whole spectrum of humans, non-humans, and hybrids. Christie looked around the city that was her new home in awe; she never lived somewhere like there before, so she had the right to do so. They eventually pulled up in the driveway, first Christie hopped out of the moving truck, then her mother came out of the same truck, then Christie’s father came out of the family hover car. They then started unloading the boxes from the moving truck. Christie noticed how old, outdated, and 19th century esque the new house was. Once she and her parents were inside it only got even more old fashioned (though the appliances were up to dated), the walls were painted a cream color, the entrance had a black and white checkered floor, and a long stair case with a red carpet of equal length. Christie brought her things into her room, it was powder blue and had a wood floor made of mahogany. Due to the fact they were going to unpack the furniture tomorrow, she put her sleeping bag on the ground and added her pillow with it. Her mother (after they finished moving in that day’s amount of stuff) ordered Chinese take-out for her husband, daughter, and herself for dinner. Christie looked out at the night and saw a boy that appeared 13 years old on his front lawn with a telescope, looking at the night sky, she then saw what looked like a Cybertronian-human hybrid in his early teens run up to him and hit him, Christie then set down her chopsticks and chased after him. Her mother exclaimed “DON’T GET IN TROUBLE!!!” “Oh dear lord, here we go.” Her father sighed. Christie grabbed the techno-organic by the scruff of the neck. “Don’t hurt me!” He exclaimed. She squinted angrily at the hybrid, her large, black eyes nearly piercing his soul. She asked sternly “What is your name?”“J-J-Jake!” he stuttered in a panicked fashion. “Well remember this, I’m in a good mood today, and if I was in a bad mood…” she took a pause to pick up a small branch from the ground and snap it with her hand furiously, she then continued “Got it?” Jake nodded. Christie let him go with him looking like he saw a ghost. He then ran towards his house. “Now he’s just going to punch me harder next time.” Said the human teenage boy. She said coldly “Hrgn...I was just trying to help you.” He said “Well I guess I can give you an E- for effort on that, by the way what’s your name?”“My full name is Christopher Amelia Spatland. But you may address me as Ma’am, Christie, or commander.” Christie replied. Willis said plainly “Uh… I’m Willis Oak Mudd. Urm, I guess you can call me soldier.” He then asked “how old are you?” “I’m 14 years old.” She answered. He said matter-of-factly “I’m 13.”“In case you’re wondering, my family and I just moved here, what about you.” Christie said. He said “I’ve lived in Weskerville since I was born. Suddenly an elderly woman called for him “WILLIS, WILLIS!” “Coming grandma!” he responded “Bye Christie.” “Bye soldier.” Said Christie, she then went back into her own house. “You should be kinder with the neighbors.” Her mother advised. “I was defending a neighbor boy.” Said Christie “Doesn’t that count?”“By the way, what is his name?” Her mother asked. Christie answered “Willis, he lives across the street from us.” Her father commented “He seems like a nice guy.” Christie agreed with that. After that day, they occasionally crossed paths with each other, usually getting into conversations of all sorts, eventually becoming friends. Time passed and back to school started, a new year of school ahead of them, little did they know that monsters, adventure, magic, and fantasy was to come with it. Maybe even their own deaths.
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Edit: This is the old and obsolete version. The version is here : 55-the-parlor/128024-arcane-tmba-retool ... epted.html . It's only a few changes dears, don't worry.