Talonstone Keep *New Keep story, open to critique*

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Slyther
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Talonstone Keep *New Keep story, open to critique*

Post by Slyther »

This is my new MS fanfic, Talonstone Keep. I intend to update it twice a month or so, more frequently if I have time. I just wanted to know what you guys thought of it. I only have the Prologue so far, but I hope I can get a good story out of it. Let me know if you guys like it, and stay tuned for updates!

Prologue

Spoiler
Sydel sat at the edge of The Stream, his cerulean cape wrapped around him from the cold. Yes, it was a frosty day at Talonstone Keep, and Sydel had just been certified as a Magi two hours earlier. At the time, of course, it was too dark for him to go to The Stream to obtain his first creature, but he was too excited and he had snuck out anyway. So there he sat, at the edge of The Stream, cold and alone, but filled with excitement. And even though he was so, Sydel knew that he had to choose a creature that he would form a bond with, and not just pick any old one. Yes, Sydel was young and naive. But that didn't mean he didn't know what being a Magi meant.

As he sat and watched, many a creature floated by, some of which he identified from his studies as a Ziraafa, an Ibex, a Trench Leviathan, and an Ashevor. None of these eggs really jumped out at him, and he was starting to think he'd never find one when he saw it. The egg. His egg. It was engulfed in orange flames, and the egg itself was orange, too. Sydel didn't understand how the egg could be underwater and yet still on fire. Regardless, he reached into The Stream and retrieved it. To his surprise, his hand was not burned. The egg actually felt rather cold. Sydel tucked the egg into his cloak pocket and started to walk up the dirt path back to the keep, with the intention of putting the egg in the creatures' part of the Keep. As he thought about this, he realized one other thing: tomorrow, he was expected to retrieve his first creature from The Stream. And even as Sydel was walking along the frosty dirt path, he was devising a plan to fake obtaining his first egg.
Last edited by Slyther on June 5th, 2012, 5:33:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Gone from the 13th to the 24th. I may or may not have Internet Conection.

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Zackeline
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Re: Talonstone Keep *New Keep story, open to critique*

Post by Zackeline »

Interesting, will check back for progress :D
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Will only pops in and out randomly...
Click plox?
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Slyther
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Re: Talonstone Keep *New Keep story, open to critique*

Post by Slyther »

Thanks. I'm going the other chapters bigger than the prologue, don't worry.
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Gone from the 13th to the 24th. I may or may not have Internet Conection.

If you want to mine my keep, feel free!

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