Kids in Restaurants

[Fishy]

The parents should be fined!
I know its not the kids fault but the parents should be responsible.

[annageckos]

I don't have kids, I don't want kids. My boyfriend and I talk about this often when we are out. I don't think they should be outright banned. But, if they start acting up, I don't care what the age, then the family should have to leave. Whether it be until the child calms down (outside), or take their food, pay and go home. Loud noises trigger my migraines. Why should others have to suffer because of misbehaving children? One idea I had was for an area, that is closed off for families with children. Kind of like some places use to have for smoking.

[macintot]

I personally think that children shouldn't be banned from restaurants, at least not altogether. There are the hyper and the just bad-mannered kids that give the others a bad reputation, but the majority of kids are (or at least tend to be) well behaved. It's up to the parents to know whether their child can behave in public. If a kid is acting out of control, then the family should be asked to leave or fined. Sometimes it's not even the kids, but the parents. It's seems that so often us adolescents are given a bad name while the adults do stuff just as bad or worse as often as we do.

[RheaDark]

Banning seems extreme. I'd say the restaurants should have the right to ask a party to leave should the members be disruptive (the members being anyone from kids to adults). A preemptive strike seems a bit silly, honestly.

[CreatureOfTheDeep]

Being a kid myself in technical terms, I obviously don't think kids should be banned from all restaurants, especially the more mature ones like myself (even though it doesn't show sometimes). McDonald's, Burger King, Sonic anyone? Those resturants were made for adults AND kids. Banning kids from them would be just plain wrong. Am I saying allow fussy 3-year-olds into a high end restaurant? No. Besides, kids need fast food every once in a while, and they aren't allowed to be left at home alone by law.

Here are some alternatives to avoid children in restaurants:

Just stay away from resaurants that freqeuntly have children in them.
For places like McDonald's, just order via the drive through instead of risking being seated near kids.
Order take out instead of sitting down at the restaurant and eating there if possible.

[Blackwidow]

(Forgive me for my rudeness and "improper" wording before.)
I beleive that kid should be banned from resturaunts. Well, maybe an age allowance. Because it seems like only a certain age of kids tend to flip out. It should be maybe 7 or and older. 6 and under in my opinion seems to young to take to a resturaunt. Almost every time I go out a little kid maybe 6 or younger is overreacting or throwing a tanturm. Causing the other customers to have a bad time. Am am stating again, maybe a certain age allowance should be in resturaunts. Banning seems a bit extreme.

[draconisregena]

I am TOOOOOTTTTTALLLLYYYYY agreeing with you, Shenzi. I cannot stand little kids, much less in a restuaunt. It happens to me almost every time I go out. I cannot stand it.

You can hate kids all you want...but to ban them from resturants and such things just punishes the parents. Saying "Just because you choose not to use your reproductive equipment does not mean you get to object to those that do.

Now that being said (if I can ever have more children) I fully intend for them to be well behaved and disciplined. When they act up I will certainly do something promptly about it...But to say I cannot enter a place because you do not want to have any contact with my children? This borders on the rediculous because, I should be able to enjoy a resturant just as much as anyone else.

[TxCat]

Please keep the discussion factual and civilized. We're not here to criticize one another's choices. Please also keep the discussion on topic.

Blackwidow: Just because you don't like children, that doesn't mean that children should be banned from the places you go. I find this unreasonable as well as prejudicial, considering we were all children once and I don't think a single one of us can claim to have been well behaved all the time. Most of the people who responded to the thread have an objection to specific kinds of behaviors in restaurant settings or to children who are present in an inappropriate atmosphere (such as a non-family oriented bar and grill or a night club which happens to serve food).

draconisregena: Just because you have children, well behaved or not, that doesn't necessarily mean that those children should go everywhere you go. For example, there's a very expensive fondue restaurant in the next town over. It's housed in a remodeled turn-of-the-century church and quite upscale. The atmosphere does not in any way, shape, or form lend itself to a family ambiance where small children would be welcome. This is a place my husband takes me for birthdays and anniversaries; it's also where the college kids take their dates after dances and where high school kids take theirs before or after prom.

And yet I have had my once-in-a-lifetime special occasions spoiled by a couple who either couldn't or wouldn't get a babysitter and decided that taking their infant or toddler to such a place would be a good idea. The place is dark in order to add to the romantic feeling; there are numerous stairs and runners and all of the tables are on platforms. A running child, combined with the fact that the tables themselves are mini stoves to heat up the oils, broths, and cheeses, is a disaster looking to happen here and I have never, in the ten years we've been going to this place for celebrations, seen a small child or infant able to sit still through a five course meal full of foods that children don't eat. This place does not even have a children's menu and the nature of the food itself (hot cheese might as well be napalm the way it burns and it's ALL served on sharp pointed forks) does not lend itself to being safely eaten by small children. Also, since it was once a church, sounds echo badly. One screaming or fussing baby can ruin dinner for the entire restaurant.

Since we pay almost $100 a trip for these occasions and we don't often have either the money or the reason to celebrate, yeah...I'm going to be furious that the parents in question didn't bother thinking about others when they brought their toddler or baby into such a setting.

Some restaurants are just not child-friendly and that should be respected. There is NO reason whatsoever for any child under twelve to be in a restaurant like that one no matter how well behaved. It's an adult's venue and that should be respected.

Get a babysitter. It's that simple. Or choose a restaurant which does cater to children. There are plenty which do, some of which are upscale: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and several steakhouses do so. Certainly places like Ruby Tuesday's and Chili's do so.

I don't object to well behaved children in a restaurant. I DO object to having children in a space which wasn't intended for them simply because a parent has children and insists that because they have children they should be allowed to take them wherever they want. I've even seen that logic applied to places where any sensible person would agree a child should not go such as nude bars (because they serve food, the parent argued) and bars whose primary function is alcohol and band entertainment but who also may serve finger foods.

[draconisregena]

Please keep the discussion factual and civilized. We're not here to criticize one another's choices. Please also keep the discussion on topic.

Blackwidow: Just because you don't like children, that doesn't mean that children should be banned from the places you go. I find this unreasonable as well as prejudicial, considering we were all children once and I don't think a single one of us can claim to have been well behaved all the time. Most of the people who responded to the thread have an objection to specific kinds of behaviors in restaurant settings or to children who are present in an inappropriate atmosphere (such as a non-family oriented bar and grill or a night club which happens to serve food).

draconisregena: Just because you have children, well behaved or not, that doesn't necessarily mean that those children should go everywhere you go. For example, there's a very expensive fondue restaurant in the next town over. It's housed in a remodeled turn-of-the-century church and quite upscale. The atmosphere does not in any way, shape, or form lend itself to a family ambiance where small children would be welcome. This is a place my husband takes me for birthdays and anniversaries; it's also where the college kids take their dates after dances and where high school kids take theirs before or after prom.

And yet I have had my once-in-a-lifetime special occasions spoiled by a couple who either couldn't or wouldn't get a babysitter and decided that taking their infant or toddler to such a place would be a good idea. The place is dark in order to add to the romantic feeling; there are numerous stairs and runners and all of the tables are on platforms. A running child, combined with the fact that the tables themselves are mini stoves to heat up the oils, broths, and cheeses, is a disaster looking to happen here and I have never, in the ten years we've been going to this place for celebrations, seen a small child or infant able to sit still through a five course meal full of foods that children don't eat. This place does not even have a children's menu and the nature of the food itself (hot cheese might as well be napalm the way it burns and it's ALL served on sharp pointed forks) does not lend itself to being safely eaten by small children. Also, since it was once a church, sounds echo badly. One screaming or fussing baby can ruin dinner for the entire restaurant.

Since we pay almost $100 a trip for these occasions and we don't often have either the money or the reason to celebrate, yeah...I'm going to be furious that the parents in question didn't bother thinking about others when they brought their toddler or baby into such a setting.

Some restaurants are just not child-friendly and that should be respected. There is NO reason whatsoever for any child under twelve to be in a restaurant like that one no matter how well behaved. It's an adult's venue and that should be respected.

Get a babysitter. It's that simple. Or choose a restaurant which does cater to children. There are plenty which do, some of which are upscale: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and several steakhouses do so. Certainly places like Ruby Tuesday's and Chili's do so.

I don't object to well behaved children in a restaurant. I DO object to having children in a space which wasn't intended for them simply because a parent has children and insists that because they have children they should be allowed to take them wherever they want. I've even seen that logic applied to places where any sensible person would agree a child should not go such as nude bars (because they serve food, the parent argued) and bars whose primary function is alcohol and band entertainment but who also may serve finger foods.

That's fair, and I would never dream of taking an infant to an upscale resturant no matter how well behaved they might be. I do have some amount of common sense. My 11 year old however can be relied on to behave himself, and if he does not a sharp word from papa ends any misbehavior. He still counts as a child, but it wouldn't be right to leave him out of something enjoyable just because others dont want him there. I unfortunately don't have the option of getting a babysitter, because we can either afford to have a babysitter or go out to dinner. We can't do both.

I agree with you on the appalling idea of taking a child to a nudie bar, or any bar to be honest.

[Ravenari]

I personally think that children shouldn't be banned from restaurants, at least not altogether. There are the hyper and the just bad-mannered kids that give the others a bad reputation, but the majority of kids are (or at least tend to be) well behaved.

I completely agree.

I also think a lot of children learn how to behave politely via exposure - i.e. being taken to restaurants, acting up, and then being corrected in their behaviour to learn the 'right way to do it.' While not all children are every taught how to act in a restaurant, some of the children that are 'acting up,' are precisely because they are doing the wrong thing and can be taught the right way of doing it. Regular, repeated exposure is one of the best to teach children how to behave appropriately in certain circumstances. If you see children acting up and their parents genuinely trying to do the right thing; then what you're probably watching is just the early stages where they're literally learning how to be the finely behaved children you often see (or don't see, because they become 'invisible' when they're not acting up for some!) in restaurants otherwise.

Some restaurants are less likely to be child-friendly than others, for those who really can't stand any children around at all while eating, it's possible to go to these instead. But children are humans too, and deserve the right to be able to eat in most establishments. As children have the same human rights as adults, they are allowed into any establishment unless the establishment itself explicitly states children are not allowed (or where children could be violated or harmed through exposure to such establishments). It's very easy to dismiss children as not deserving of the same human rights as everyone else, but they do have those rights. I also think some compassion wouldn't go astray.

Yes, it's nice to have a quiet meal out, but it's not always possible. My partner and I might complain quietly to each other to get it off our chest if we are eating and children are acting up, but if it's very bad we can always leave, and otherwise we generally err on the side of sympathy for the parents than 'oh god children should be banned!' The other thing is, some people might know in advance that a restaurant is not child friendly, but if someone is going to a restaurant for the first time, they might not know this. Not everyone has the luxury of 'common sense,' and some parents obviously end up learning the hard way (along with everyone else!)