Kids in Restaurants

[TxCat]

i feel bad for the parents. imagine the embarrassment they must feel

You would be assuming that the parents whose children behave badly actually care that the children are behaving badly. Most of the parents of badly behaved children (and I include toddlers through young adults in that designation) didn't appear to care much. I heard a lot of "Oh, don't do that" or "That's awful, honey" but no real effort made to correct the behavior.

As I mentioned earlier, the child who thoroughly embarrassed me in a restaurant by making remarks about things my doctor hesitates to talk about was not reprimanded at all. His parents laughed with him and his father congratulated him on his wits...even though he horrified the rest of the restaurant with his crass behavior.

I have, however, started changing my approach in the perhaps futile hope that it might make a difference. I ignore badly behaved children unless I have to deal directly with them (playing on the medical equipment, kicking me, and pulling the dog's hair or otherwise distracting the service dog will get them a big and loud reprimand). Instead, when I see parents with well behaved kids, I praise the child...and I say a few brief words to the parents about what well mannered children they have.

Maybe, just maybe, with positive reinforcement it might shame some of those other parents into doing their jobs. Maybe the peer pressure from parents whose children DO behave will change the others' behavior.

[Raneth]

I have, however, started changing my approach in the perhaps futile hope that it might make a difference. I ignore badly behaved children unless I have to deal directly with them (playing on the medical equipment, kicking me, and pulling the dog's hair or otherwise distracting the service dog will get them a big and loud reprimand). Instead, when I see parents with well behaved kids, I praise the child...and I say a few brief words to the parents about what well mannered children they have.

Maybe, just maybe, with positive reinforcement it might shame some of those other parents into doing their jobs. Maybe the peer pressure from parents whose children DO behave will change the others' behavior.

Actually, that reminds me of something I observed once. It was on public transport and not in a restaurant, but still bears mentioning, I think.

Two siblings, of around 5-6, were sitting on the bus next to their mother. An older woman with a cane gets on the bus, and stands in front of the two girls. Their mother asks the older girl to stand up to let the woman sit down. The older girl refused, and the old woman didn't say anything. Then the younger girl, before her mother had a chance to ask, stood up and let the older woman sit down in her seat.

The older woman said something along the lines of "what a polite young girl you are." The young one smiled and nodded, and her sister looked extremely humiliated/upset, culminating in her slapping her sister after a few minutes. So they both start crying while the mother reprimands the older one, and the older woman just sits there with this glorious grin on her face. I wanted to high five her.

So long story short, I think the positive reinforcement thing would work very well in the right situation, as long as there is someone decent out there to praise.

[Lithuen]

While I definitely agree that there are some places that kids should not go, I disagree that they should be deprived of the restaurant experience entirely. A restaurant is a great learning experience for children as long as their parents are setting a good example. Teaching them polite eating and social skills such as how to properly order food can help later in life. I have 2 children myself, ages 2 years and 8 months, and I have learned that it's all about being prepared. I make sure to bring a bottle and other entertainment for the younger one. My daughter (the 2 year old) is already developing very good manners. She is able to sit still until her food arrives and even manages to eat with her spoon more or less. She also has been taught to push her plate gently toward the center of the table when she is finished rather than throwing food. As long as you as a parent plan restaurant trips around nap times for younger children, and teach them proper social skill as soon as possible, there is absolutely no reason that it should be an unpleasant experience for anyone around you. And remember, never underestimate how quickly a child can pick up social cues from a parent.

[CinnaminDraconna]

I'm one of those people who doesn't like kids at all, in any situation. But I do NOT think they should be banned from all restrarants... just the high end places. Take the kids to Mickey D's, or Shoney's, or Denny's, or other FAMILY oriented places.

But if I'm going to be paying $50 or more per person for fine dining, with real silver and crystal and china, a maitre d, and a 5 course dinner.. I DO NOT WANT TO BE DISTURBED BY YOUR WHINING BRAT(s)!!!!! Places like that are not meant for infants or toddlers, and not really for any child under 14. So hire a babysitter or call the grandparents to keep the kids and let the adults enjoy a night on the town.

[BMF]

I think kids have a right to be in a restaraunt. But they better sit there butt down and behave (as my father says). So if you have a kid,your responsible for him or her. But yes,it iritates me when kids are just running around a resturaunt when i'm trying to eat,coming up to me and yelling in my face. I just hate bad parents period.

[ShenziSixaxis]

MOD Note: Unlocked the topic. Shenzi, you don't get to lock a topic just because the answer you're getting sound the same to you or because you don't like the answers you've gotten. If people are disinterested in it, then it can scroll off the page and die naturally.

I'm going to go ahead and lock this. It's 6 pages of the same responses.

[Destrauxe]

I completely disagree with banning kids from restaraunts. It isn't always the childs fault sometimes it is the neglect of the parent and you can't just look at your kid and sayd "Stop crying" and they stop, it's is a babies only way of comunication. This would prevent alot of parents from being able to go to restaraunts to eat and therefore restaraunts would lose money if you want a different way to look at it. I don't like kids at all , they bother me on a number of levels and I hate it when they are running around and screaming in restaraunts but I have learned that sometimes you just have to get around it.

Everybody was a child at one point and has cried in a restaurant at least once I am willing to bet.

[Imposibibble]

According to my parents, I never cried, but I liked going around and touching displays.
One time I (maybe 5-6 years old?) was touching the giant statue of some restaurant Mascot and the thing must not have been very stable because I knocked it over and dominoed the trashbin onto the a sit-down booth. I remember running back and hiding under our table.

[KaidaShade]

I was a pretty well-behaved kid and as a rule I very rarely see kids behaving poorly in restaurants. Obviously, there's always the odd one who spoils it for the rest, but I think it's the parents' responsibility to make sure their kids behave when in public. If they can't, they should know better than to take the kid to a higher-end restaurant instead of somewhere that caters specifically to kids, and if they don't have the sense to do that then the management should reserve the right to kick them out.

In all honesty, last time I went out to eat anywhere, my friends and I were probably louder than the adorable, well-behaved little girl that someone had brought in and we're the types who don't particularly like other people hearing our conversations (The laughter got a bit loud, but we're 18 year olds so what can you expect?).

[CometRider]

I'm one of those people who doesn't like kids at all, in any situation. But I do NOT think they should be banned from all restrarants... just the high end places. Take the kids to Mickey D's, or Shoney's, or Denny's, or other FAMILY oriented places.

But if I'm going to be paying $50 or more per person for fine dining, with real silver and crystal and china, a maitre d, and a 5 course dinner.. I DO NOT WANT TO BE DISTURBED BY YOUR WHINING BRAT(s)!!!!! Places like that are not meant for infants or toddlers, and not really for any child under 14. So hire a babysitter or call the grandparents to keep the kids and let the adults enjoy a night on the town.

Just sayin that McDonalds and Dennys are disgusting. No one needs to go there. Never been to a Shoneys so I have no opinion about it. And I think that people should definitely not ban kids from restaurants in general. It is, however, up to the parents to assess how well their kids behave in public, so if your like my brother, anything above 2 stars, stay at home. Ok maybe a little exaggeration there. But whatever.