Warriors: Shadows of Frost [chapter 17 done] OPINIONS PLEASE

[moondragon]

[moondragon]

Here's chapter thirteen. I added a little twist i've had planned out since the begining.


Chapter Thirteen

Spoiler

A few days had passed since the patrol had reached the camp. In the center of the forest, through a bramble thicket, there was a clearing. There was a small cave in the back of it, which became the leaders den. Where Swiftfoot slept. If you left the cave, you would see straight in front of you a large stone. This had been named the SwiftStone and was covered in odd markings. The camp was speckled with large bushes, and underneath these was the medicine cat’s den, the warriors den, and the apprentices den. Across from the SwiftStone there was another cave, this was the nursery. And last, at the top corner of the camp, and fallen log made the elders den.
Swiftfoot surveyed the camp for a moment. He then ducked under the bush and underneath the large spread branches there was a clearing. It was actually more of a small tree. Spotfur was packing herbs under the trees roots. Ice had been named Icetail, and Maple had become Maplepelt. He had named Sandfur his deputy.
“Here are your traveling herbs,” Spotfur nodded. Swiftfoot purred his thanks and licked up the yucky tasting herbs. He wrinkled his nose, but didn’t protest. He was going to be visiting the Moonpool tonight, to get his nine lives.
“Thank you,” Swiftfoot nodded and slid into the clearing. He had to reach the Moonpool soon, so he had a lot of walking to do. He said goodbye, and slid out of the camp, walking out into the forest.

Swiftfoot walked up to the crystal waters of the Moonpool. It was nearly moonhight, he had left a day ago. He laid beside it and took a lick of the glistening water. Shivers ran across his body, and his spine rippled with feeling as he drifted into the worlds of Starclan.
Swiftfoot found himself in the misty clearing he had seen many times before. He watched as the sparkling mist rolled across the clearing, and a figure began to fade from it. He was a bit surprised when he seen Spottedstar walking towards him.
“I suppose you’re expecting your nine lives?” Spottedstar asked him, nodding in greeting.
“Of course,” Swiftfoot purred. Spottedstar let out a long sigh, and watched Swiftfoot for a moment.
“I’m afraid Starclan cannot grant them to you,” the tabby she-cat sounded as if she herself was upset about this.
“W-What?” Swiftfoot was confused, why had Starclan refused him his nine lives?
“I have spoken to your ancestors, but you cannot receive them. They will not allow it,” she shook her head. “Only Swiftclan’s leaders after you can receive lives.”
“Why? How am I supposed to explain this to my clan mates?” Swiftfoot wailed, his amber eyes glowing with uncertainty.
“You won’t tell them. You will return to camp as Swiftstar,” Spottedstar growled.
“Oh,” Swiftstar nodded. It was probably for the better. The world around him began to fade, but he still had many questions. He couldn’t find his voice, or move, and the world began to swirl. He found himself sitting alone in pure darkness.
“Once your clan has proved itself, then it may receive its lives. After the hero has faded into memories,” Spottedstar’s voice rang. And then, Swiftstar felt completely and utterly alone.

[moondragon]

Here's chapter fourteen. Gawd my chapters are short... Enjoy anyways



Chapter Fourteen

Spoiler

Shrewfang followed Brightmask out of camp. Sandfur had told them to go hunting this morning, as the fresh kill pile was running low. Life in Swiftclan was much like life in Shadowclan, only there were far less mouths to feed.
Shrewfang didn’t mind going on patrol with Brightmask. She liked the fun brown she-cat, and Brightmask didn’t seem at all bothered by her slightly pessimistic attitude and short temper.
“Do you want to split up?” Brightmask asked as they entered the forest. They were going forest hunting, as the river would probably be flooded and Shrewfang didn’t like hunting on the open land. She was always more of a forest cat.
“Not really. There’s only two of us,” Shrewfang shrugged, her tail twitching. The dew had not yet left the ground, and the morning air was cool. Brightmask nodded.
“Then let’s hunt,” she purred. Shrewfang took a deep breath, scenting for prey. She smelt mouse and stalked off. She soon spotted the small creature nibbling on something it was eating. She dropped into a hunters crouch and crept slowly forward. She leapt, killing the mouse with the impact of her blow.
Shrewfang picked up the mouse and was about to burry it so she could return to it later when a pair of strikingly yellow eyes distracted her.
“Brightmask,” she whispered, dropping the mouse.
“What? You scared off my squirrel!” Brightmask complained, coming over to her side. The yellow eyes continued to stare at Shrewfang.
“Look,” she gestured to them. Brightmask looked at the eyes for a moment, and scented.
“I smell a cat,” Brightmask didn’t take her glance from the cat that was watching them.
“What do you think we do?” Shrewfang asked. She hadn’t been in a clan for quite a few moons, and wasn’t sure how the Swiftclan cat wanted to handle the trespasser.
“We investigate,” Brightmask whispered. Then called out,” Hello?”

[moondragon]

Next chapter. My second one today

Chapter Fifteen

Spoiler

Tumblestrike stared through the bushes, watching two cats he knew well. Brightmask, warrior of Starclan’s army, and Shrewfang. She was an exile of Shadowclan, he had known her. Supported her. Tumblestrike new his enemies had seen him, but he kept hidden until Brightmask called out.
“Hello,” Tumblestrike meowed back, stepped from the bushes. He limped as one of his front paws was crooked, but he had become used to walking in this way.
“Tumblestrike?” Shrewfang recognized him right away.
“Its nice to see you again, Shrewfang,” Tumblestrike purred at his old friend. His yellow eyes glowing with friendliness, but only he knew it was fake.
“You too,” Shrewfang returned, then turned to Brightmask. “This is Tumblestrike. He’s from Shadowclan.”
“Was from Shadowclan,” Tumblestrike corrected, lying with ease.
“What?” Shrewfang asked, confused.
“Exiled. Always knew I sided with you. Stupid Blackstar,” Tumblestrike shook his head, laughing. But he wasn’t laughing why they thought he was. He laughed because of the stupid cats belief for his lies. Shrewfang joined in, and the sound of their laughter echoed through the trees like death through the mind.
“Is Blackstar not a good leader?” Brightmask asked, unsure what was funny.
“Oh not at all,” Shrewfang sighed. “We just don’t like him.”
“Lovely,” Brightmask smirked.
“So, would you like to come back to camp?” Shrewfang asked.
“I’d love to. Being an exile, in all honesty, sucks,” Tumblestrike chuckled. Brightmask looked unsure of the unfamiliar exile, so Shrewfang gave her an encouraging purr.
“Alright, come on,” she sighed in defeat.
“Yay,” Tumblestrike purred, earning a giggle from Shrewfang. Brightmask shook her head at the old friends and began to head towards camp.
Tumblestrike purred again and followed the two-she cats towards their camp. Deathfrost’s plan was going perfectly.

[Moonpool]

Oh noooooo!

[moondragon]

Chapter Sixteen

Spoiler

Squirreltail took the last bite of her rabbit and looked up. Brightmask and Shrewfang were returning with a tom she didn’t know. Brightmask lead the patrol, while the tom and Shrewfang seemed very much in conversation. Squirreltail took a moment to look the tom over. He had very intense yellow eyes and a grey pelt. He limped on one front paw, but the injury looked like I had been there for and long time and didn’t bother him at all.
“I’ll get Swiftstar,” Squirreltail called to Brightmask and she entered camp. The brown she-cat nodded her thanks. Swiftstar was asleep in his den, as he had returned from the Moonpool just this morning, but had refused to say anything about how the ceremony went.
“We’ve got company,” Squirreltail whispered as she walked into her leader’s den. Swiftstar lifted his head and let out a yawn, his amber eyes glinting with whatever it was he had been dreaming.
“Who is it?” the black and white tom stood up and stretched for a moment.
“I’m not sure. But, its obvious Shrewfang knows him,” Squirreltail replied.
“Another exile, I’ll be,” Swiftstar stood and walked from the den, Squirreltail following. Brightmask had gone to talk to Icetail, while Shrewfang was still talking to the tom.
“You are?” Swiftstar asked, coming up to the two talking cats. The tom looked up, his yellow eyes glowing.
“This is Tumblestrike,” Shrewfang answered before the tom could.
“Exile of Shadowclan,” Brightmask walked up behind them. Swiftstar nodded.
“He looks friendly enough,” Squirreltail noted.
“Hello,” Tumblestrike dipped his head to the leader.
“Pleasure,” the black tom replied.
“So can he stay?” Shrewfang asked. Brightmask still looked uncertain, but didn’t comment.
“I suppose he can,” Swiftstar dipped his head.
“Thank you,” Tumblestrike purred with a glint in his eyes Squirreltail could not put her finger one. Swiftstar began to walk away, so Squirreltail headed along beside him.
“What made you choose to let him stay?” Squirreltail didn’t like the glint in the grey tom’s strange yellow eyes.
“We need all the cats we can get. I just hope I didn’t make the wrong choice,” Swiftstar replied, then no one said a word

[Moonpool]

Don't let him trick you!

[moondragon]

Trust me, it gets ALOT worse. u knew i was a fan of forbidden loves when u started reading this

[Sorren1224]

hey moon, I'm kinda new to magistream, so I was just wondering how you make your signature like that? P.S. your story is AMAZING. I could never write something like that. just go ahead and compare it with mine!(Warriors: fallen stars)

[moondragon]

i'll PM you about the siggy. and thanks!