Warriors: Shadows of Frost [chapter 17 done] OPINIONS PLEASE

[moondragon]

Chapter Eight

Spoiler

Squirreltail splashed into the waves, the freezing water chilling her right to the bones. She plunged under the water, her lungs filling and squeezing the breath out of her. She turned her paws hopelessly in the water, her insides screaming for air.
There was a rush of water and her head pushed above the surface of the waves. Squirreltail quickly gulped in air, feeling relief in her lungs for a moment before she yet again dunked under.
“Squirreltail!” Squirreltail heard her name from under the waves, but she couldn’t tell who said it. She pushed her head out of the water again, turning her paws and trying to keep from going under.
“Help! Help me!” Squirreltail wailed. She heard a splash and felt someone dunk into the water next to her, but she yet again went under. Darkness was tearing at the edges on her mind, fighting to consume her. She fought against it, but her body began to fall numb.
“Squirreltail!” she heard her voice again, but this time it seemed more faint. Her eyes closed, and she lost the ability to fight the current. She held on to consciousness, to life, but it too was fading.
Suddenly Squirreltail felt teeth sink into her scruff. Her paws yet again began to turn as she felt herself being hauled to the surface. Her head came above the water, but she still couldn’t breath. The water had filled her lungs, and she was running out of time. The blackness edged even closer, and she couldn’t even force her eyes open.
“Bring her here,” she heard Spot’s voice and felt herself being pulled onto land. Sweet, sweet land. She felt a paw rub the wrong way across her back and she stuttered, coughing. She choked as the water came out of her lungs and she coughed out, spitting the cold liquid from her mouth.
“Are you okay?” Swiftfoot asked. Squirreltail could only nod. Her whole body ached with pain, and the blackness still pulled at her. Only, this time it was of tiredness, not death. Squirreltail let out a sigh and gave in, drifting off into a swirling world of dreams… And nightmares.

[moondragon]

Its a bit short, but i had to give u guys something.

Chapter Nine

Spoiler

Swiftfoot watched as Squirreltail let herself drift into sleep. He shook himself, water droplets splattering through the air. He watched them, glinting in the sun’s fading light. Night time was almost here, and the moon was beginning its quest to consume the sky.
“You alright?” Spot asked, looking at Swiftfoot.
“Yah. I’ve falling in worse,” he replied, licking his wet fur.
“So I hear you want to be a medicine cat?” Brightmask asked, looking at Spot.
“Yah,” Spot nodded.
“Then welcome to the clan,” Sandfur purred.
“Really?” Spot asked, eyes wide.
“Of course,” Swiftfoot nodded.
“T-Thank you!” Spot looked ready to bounce up and down. Swiftfoot seen Ice roll her eyes,
“What?” he asked her.
“My silly brother… Finally got his dream,” she chuckled. “He’s been dreaming it since kit hood.”
“I’m happy for him,” Maple grinned.
“You should be,” Swiftfoot agreed.
“I mean, I am too, of course. Just a bit odd that happened so suddenly,” Ice mewed.
“Its what Starclan wanted,” Brightmask purred.
“And they couldn’t have made a better choice,” Sandfur chimed in.
“Thank you so much,” Spot purred out loud. Then he looked at his family, asking them about their choices with nothing but his eyes.
“I’m gona be a warrior,” Maple growled like a moon old kit. Brightmask smirked, her green eyes alight with amusement. All eyes landed on Ice. The white she-cats eyes filled with unanswered thoughts and questions.
“Well?” Swiftfoot meowed.

[Moonpool]

Answer the question ice!

[moondragon]

Here's Ice's answer!

Chapter Ten

Spoiler

Ice glanced from side to side, unsure of what to reply. She wasn’t sure clan life was right for her. Did she really want to give up everything she had for some cats she didn’t even know? She glanced at her brothers. Maple was looking at her expectantly, his eyes begging her to say she’d join. Spot’s expression asked the same thing, only he could not hide the excitement from his face. Ice let out a sigh, she knew what she had to do,
“Yes. I’ll join,” Ice whispered after a moment. Spot’s eyes grew more alight, and she knew she had made the right decision.
“Great,” Maple purred, thrilled,
“So, when do we get warrior names?” Ice asked, wondering what hers would be.
“Um… I never really though about that,” Swiftfoot mewed.
“Just wait until you get your nine lives,” Sandfur suggested.
“Okay,” Ice dipped her head in thanks.
“So did anyone find a place to cross the river?” Swiftfoot asked.
“We did,” Brightmask purred.
“Some one needs to wake Squirreltail,” Spot nodded to the ginger she-cats sleeping figure.
“I will,” Swiftfoot purred. The black tom walked over to the sleeping warrior. “Squirreltail,” he purred. “Time to get up.” The ginger she-cat lifted her head and let out a yawn.
“Where are we going, its almost night time,” Squirreltail pointed out.
“Traveling by night is better. We’re going to the new camp,” Brightmask chimed in.
“Fine,” Squirreltail hissed, getting to her paws. The cats followed Sandfur, who had lead the patrol to find the crossing place, down the river’s edge. Everyone was careful not to fall in, although the rain had stopped.
They soon reached the crossing place. Ice looked down at the water, fear pulsing through her every muscle.
“You’ll be fine,” Maple assured her as he took a huge leap and crossed to the first stone.
“I-I’m coming,” Ice called. She crouched down, preparing to leap, and pushed of with her hind paws. She landed on the first rock’s slick surface, steadying herself.
“I told you you’d be fine,” Maple took another bound and he was now on the last rock. Ice nodded. Its easy. There’s only four rocks.
Ice let out an annoyed hiss and leapt. Her landing onto the second rock was a little less neat, but she managed to keep her footing.
The next two rocks were a bit closer together, so in three easy bounds she was across the river. “I made it,” she muttered to herself.
“So everyone’s across?” Bright mask asked. She was answered by nods. Brightmask to the lead of the patrol, and the began walking out into the open land.

Sometime late the patrol entered a forest and Ice sighed in relief. She had always felt safer in forests. The familiar feel of soft dead leaves beneath her paws seemed to relax her.
“How much longer?” Squirreltail complained. Ice let her thoughts drift from the patrol’s conversation, and she began to listen to the noises of the forest. The trees swaying in the slight breeze, the birds chirping. She open her mouth and scented. Squirrel.
Since she was at the back of the patrol she crept towards the sent without being noticed. She crouched down, catching sight of the squirrel’s grayish colored fur. She crept forward, silent as a cat catching prey. At the last moment, Ice lashed out with unsheathed claws.
Ice was about to slash into the squirrel when a flash of fur slammed into her. She was knocked to the ground and looked up into the snarling face of an unfamiliar she-cat.

[Moonpool]

Yays!

[Sorren1224]

Ok... seriously Moon. How old are you? This is amazing stuff!!!!!!!!! Awesome!

[moondragon]

Meh just turned 13. Thank yous

Chapter Eleven

Spoiler

Lillyflight watched Tumblestrike walk away from the river’s edge as the crystal moon shown down. It was no more than a claw in the sky. The warrior was headed out in search of Swiftfoot and his army, carrying out Deathfrost’s sneaky plot.
She headed back to camp and walked into the warriors den, her new den. As of yesterday, she had been a warrior. It was now time to visit the forest without stars, where darkness loomed at every corner, and show off her newly earned warrior skills. Only worry nagged at her, for this time Tumblestrike would not be there to save her.
She drifted into sleep and faded into the dreary forest. The shadows calling her name, it seemed. She carefully walked into their meeting place, where Deathfrost was waiting along with Darkclaw.
“Lillyflight,” Deathfrost dipped her head in greeting. Lillyflight dipped her head in response.
“Would you like to practice?” Darkclaw growled, looking at her with his intimidating amber eyes. Lillyflight honestly didn’t want to, but she nodded and swallowed down her fears.
“Lovely. Go on then,” Deathfrost hissed.
Lillyflight gulped as Darkclaw stalked forward, his eyes narrowed on her. She growled as he leapt out, but stepped aside and he flew past her. Darkclaw snarled and lunged again. This time he struck her shoulder and tore it open. Lillyflight winced and lunged, raking her claws across the side of her enemy’s face.
Darkclaw growled and slammed into Lillyflight. She stumbled to the side and winced as Darkclaw’s claws shredded her ears. Lillyflight let out a snarl and lashed out, slicing her claws across the dark tom’s throat.
Darkclaw staggered back, but looked up at her with narrowed eyes. Lillyflight let out a hiss and Darkclaw stuttered and coughed out blood. Lillyflight knew her enemy was defeated so she turned to Deathfrost.
“Very good,” the white she-cat nodded her approval. Lillypaw purred, finally she had gotten approval. She heard a snarl from Darkclaw, and she faded into the blackness.

[Moonpool]

This is seriously too good. *leans closer* What's yer secret?

[moondragon]

I'm a good writer?

Chapter Twelve

Spoiler

Shrewfang snarled into the face of the white-she cat. She started into her blue eyes, growing.
“Who are you,” Shrewfang snarled. The white cat beneath her growled and shoved up with her hind paws, flinging Shrewfang off her.
“Who are you?” she retorted.
“Shrewfang,” the shaggy bluish grey she-cat hissed, her amber eyes alight.
“A warrior?” Ice asked, confused. Shrewfang saw her change and lunged, knocking the white cat back.
“An exile,” Shrewfang spat the word. Shock was written all over her enemy’s fearful face. She let out a purr.
“I’m Ice, soon to be warrior of Swiftclan,” the white cat growled.
“Swiftclan?” the time Shrewfang was confused. Luckily, Ice did not attack her.
“Yah, Starclan’s army,” Ice sounded proud.
“Against whom?” Shrewfang spat, baring her teeth. The two she-cats had began to circle one another as they spoke.
“Dark forest, who else?” Ice narrowed her eyes. Shrewfang went to reply, but she was shoved off her paws by a flash of black fur. She leapt up, facing her attacker… Entire patrol of attackers.
“Leave me be!” Shrewfang snarled, amber eyes blazing.
“Who are you?” the black tom who had attack her snarled.
“Shrewfang, Shadowclan exile and proud of it. Blackstar should have thought twice before he messed with ME,” Shrewfang growled lowly.
“An enemy of the clans is an enemy of mine,” the tom retorted and lunged. Shrewfang snickered and stepped aside, landing a blow on the side of the tom’s head, claws unsheathed.
“I’m no enemy of the clans. Just Blackstar, the mouse-brained,” Shrewfang growled.
The black tom stopped and looked at her, bleeding. “It appears we have much to talk about.”

[Moonpool]

Yes, yes you are. *Imagane me saying that in Phineas's voice*