I don’t know what to do anymore

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BluenaWOLF
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I don’t know what to do anymore

Post by BluenaWOLF »

Something that’s been bothering me for awhile is that my father never listens to anything I say. He is “always” right and I’m always wrong in his eyes and he will do anything to win and argument. The problem though is that I feel like I’m turning into him, he treats me so differently from my younger sister and he treats me like a mirror. He sees himself on me and I’m sick of it, he’s always trying to put his past mistakes on me like I’m going to do the or like I’ve already done them. He’s so harsh with me and doesn’t treat me like a daughter but more like a sibling and it’s driving me insane. He nitpicks everything I do and always loses his temper with me over little things. Every time I try to talk to him and call him out he just gets mad and yells at me till I run away crying and lock myself in my bedroom as he talks behind my back downstairs to my mother. My mom can’t do anything because he’s as stubborn as a mule and she’s just given up. I’m afraid to tell him things because he either doesn’t care, doesn’t understand, doesn’t agree, or it’s something that he did that’s negative. I don’t know what to do because we have a very strange relationship and when we get along it’s good and I don’t want the good to go away but I don’t know how I can solve the bad.
He always thinks that I’m gonna mess up and never trusts me to do anything, he literally will helicopter over me when I cook because he’s afraid I’ll set the house on fire or something it’s insane. He freaks out over every little thing I do like if I spill water on the floor he screams at me that I’ll warp the floor and destroy it even though it was like a little droplet of water on the floor. He’s so loose when it comes to my younger sister but so much stricter and harsh with me it’s unfair and I don’t understand. He’s very passive aggressive and always brings up stuff from the past so he can win and argument.
It’s hard on his behalf too, he grew up with a pretty abusive family and is an war immigrant so he’s never met his real parents and has been in and out of foster care growing up so that’s taken a large toll on his mental health I just wish he would maybe try to help himself too but he won’t, he needs to talk to someone about these things but he won’t and takes his frustration out on me, because in his eyes, I’m him.
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Re: I don’t know what to do anymore

Post by Winterra »

I grew up in a bad spot. And for the longest time I blamed myself for it. It sounds like you already know it isnt your fault which is the first step. I dont know the exact situation to give you better advice but when he starts getting mad, perhaps try not reacting as hard as jt may be. Just a simple “ok.”
If you feel like you can talk to him or reason with him try doing so VIA text. Where you can compose your thoughts entirely without being interrupted. Explain how you feel and more importantly predict his arguments and beat them before they arise.
And this may be wrong its hard to tell from your situation and perhaps im just reflecting my own. But I had good times with my father but then he’d get mad at me call me ungrateful or whatever else. Make the situation out to be my fault, guilt me, etc. Then i’d always overhear him on the phone talking about how im just going through this disrespectful teenager phase. (And more extreme then ive read from your situation) he’d turn my friends in me have them all go why do you hate your father? He’s so nice he’s so cool. I lost all my friends he’d purposefully break my car and it would be an accident so i couldnt go to my electives. He’d run his hand through mt hair and tell me how beautiful it was. Constantly touch my rear to ‘pull a hair off of it’. Etc. but there was alwags an excuse. And anytime i asked for help I was told I misinterpreted things. Or I didnt know what I was talking about. Or he is so nice. So if you feel like this, like you think somethings wrong but everyone else around you is telling you its fine or it isnt happening. Believe in yourself. It is. If a child is scared of their parents it is t the childs fault. It takes a lot for a child to fear a parent. If any of this is the case, dont blame yourself and be your own person.

Regardless of the situation, you are stronger then you may think. Every person is it isnt just some dumb inspiration facebook post. You will soon enough graduate and be a free person. And perhaps with distance if he isnt an egotistical, sadistic, or sociopathic person then it may recover. Either way stand your ground. You are your own person you need to set your boundaries. But do so safely. I know im stronger from my experiences and you will look back on them and go wow, I have grown so much.
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