Therapy corner?

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GilraenNenharma
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by GilraenNenharma »

I've finally just had a day off to relax from work since I had to keep coming in to help out with cashiers calling out. Worked 7 days in a row, then my actual one day off had been going out to get groceries so was really sore then worked two days and they wanted me to come in again today. No thank you I need the rest before I go for my scheduled shift tomorrow.

For my world I've figured out I am going to have 370 days, 36 hours in a day, 8 days in a week, and two moons which are as of yet still unnamed and trying to figure how many cycles they should have. Our own moon has 12 so...one moon at 6 the other at 24?
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ToxicFlame
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by ToxicFlame »

So....
On the subject of having no where to stay...
This is a lot of just... venting so bare with me:

When Aunt Barbara passed, the camper behind the house went to her children Renee and Keith. (Renee is the one that was staying here with me and my husband trying to take care of her). Since we had no where to live, Renee told us we can move the camper up behind her son's lot, plug it up there, and we can continue to pay her the payments for it as soon as we find a job, which shouldn't take long. Like maybe a week? That had been the plan and we were fine with that and it allowed us to calm down and help them finish getting their things up so we can get out of this house (which belongs to Barbara's estranged [and downright evil] son, Donnie. Thing is... Donnie can't ask me and my husband to leave since we've been staying here for more than 3 months. We've legally established residence. And Renee and Keith were left the belongings of the house, and they are still working on getting everything out - but Donnie is still up here everyday just...trying to get officers to get us all to leave. But it's a civil issue and he needs to go to court and get a civil justice to serve us an eviction notice. (Which... we'll be out before then so... no big deal really :shrug: )

Anyway, with us nowhere to go... Renee wants to make that deal with us for a camper. Well Keith and his wife weren't having it, after my husband and I took care of HIS mother, bathed her, wiped her butt (not that I minded because I loved that woman - and I don't want PAYMENT compensation for any of that... just a bit of reciprocated sympathy, ya know?) He thinks we just want "things just given to us, that we won't work for anything, that it's time for us to get out on our own. etc. etc. etc. ya know, the boomer rant. I just want to be like "sir, EVERYTHING I have *****I***** got. I got and paid for MY car. The fact that I lost my home and jobs at the end of 2018 and haven't been able to get back on my feet is because I keep getting offered help by some sapsucker jerk like my family - and then this family - and then having the floor ripped out right from under me before I can get back on my feet! He said he loves us, that we're family, but the fact that we don't have a place to sleep tonight isn't HIS fault and isn't on HIS conscious. That we should've PLANNED for this to happen. (What? A week ago his mom passed and we were supposed HAVE jobs, find another place to stay, and magically have the downpayment ready for it???? We were here BECAUSE we were in a rough situation, then we just ended up taking care of the old folks instead because they needed us!)

It'd be one thing if it was just like... "sorry we want the camper and we want to use it for something" (meanwhile they're also saying it's basically uninhabitable and want to fix it - and we'll clean it up some for them while we'd be in it!) "..and that's why you can't stay there." THAT would be understandable. But no, they don't want us to just be "given" a place to stay - even though we said we'd make the payments on it for as long as we were in it as soon as a job was found (again... like a week). He thinks we're supposed to have jobs and have our own place and do that all on our own, but we couldn't because we were here taking care of HIS. FREAKING. MOTHER.

.....uggggghhhhhh. I can't get loans/credit to buy it outright because I don't have a job CURRENTLY and I have no credit. I'm young and I have student debt. I told him this and he said that's not his fault - HE had credit at 18. (I wanted to say yeah... because it was just invented -.-. If he went to college, he wouldn't have been 50k in debt with no job). All the while HIS OWN DANG DAUGHTER who is 30 something stays home and lives with him and his wife with her kids. But heavens forbid he and his sister Renee help us out a little bit because we took care of their mother, their uncle, AND HELPED move all their crap out of here. (I should have told him that none of his stuff is OUR responsibility.... I didn't, of course.)

It just... blows my mind. And then he sits there saying he loves me. That is the biggest load of.... cow pies, I've ever heard.

No one worry about us... Renee talked them into it so we may be able to be there a month or so.... I don't know. She says she won't let us go without a place. And she loves our baby Velcro too. (He's my only pet left. I'm not losing him.) So we have a plan in place... for now. I just... had to rant about all that and get it off my chest. I know no one here is a therapist or whatever. But I just wanted to spout it out and pray someone cared enough to listen....

I'm just so tired of losing family and starting over. I have low self-esteem as it IS and I've been on a long mental health journey trying to bring myself up, rather than down. And I feel so betrayed by everyone except Ian, Renee, my one other IRL friend, and then... like you guys on here. That's it. And of course I can't help but think what's wrong with ME because my own family doesn't want anything to do with me, my mother said I was a mistake, and my father "loves me" but threatens to kill my husband if he ever sees him again...
And I love Ian's family, they're good people, but they're soooo unreliable - and he knows it.
I thought Barbara & Renee's family was the family I finally found...
And I just feel betrayed by Keith his wife. I thought we were part of the family. I thought we'd get SOME compassion.

Last night I asked Renee if I was being oversensitive and she said no, so that was a little bit of comfort.
And Ian and I are doing everything to hold ourselves up.

I'm okay, guys. Just hurt.

Thank you all for giving me a place to talk. And if you read it all, I really appreciate it.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by ToxicFlame »

I'll attempt to revive this little thing...

In light of the current pandemic, I wanted to see how everyone was doing? And also, I'm curious if anyone else is encountering a similar problem with employment.

I am very much aware many employees are losing hours and even jobs! And my heart goes out to them and I hate it!
But my husband and I are in a slightly weird scenario compared to many others, and that is that we're trying to FIND work in the middle of a pandemic.
Wal-Mart was going to hire him. And I was grateful he was going to have a job. But he has severe social anxiety at the best of times, and with the virus going around... he was very very nervous about working in retail, and I was scared to death he was gonna get sick. And even if he and I could fight it off fine, we couldn't risk him coming home and getting my grandparents sick! They're the very demographic that are mostly likely to catch it and have the most severe complications... :(

Our hearts and minds are torn... He knows he 'needs' to work and get the income, but he didn't feel the least bit comfortable with Wal-Mart. Not to mention they were very rude and weren't bothering to take ANY measures to prevent their employees from getting sick (like providing CHEAP masks and setting up hand sanitizer pumps at every register)... nor did they have any amount of assurance or respect for his concerns and basically just told him 'well if you're not comfortable you just shouldn't work here.' I mean... I understand you need people. But DAMN! And that was their HR person.

Anyway... Luckily, the place that is going to hire me (which is a in-home senior care company) needs more male caregivers so they're gonna hire him. As soon as we both get our TB tests confirmed, we can go to orientation and start.

Was our concern valid?
Because we've been accused of just... being lazy millennials who just don't want to work.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by Winterra »

Your concern is totally valid. I had to stop going to work because I have bad lungs. 2 pneumonias and 4 bronchitis within 16 years. I struggle to breathe when the wind is blowing strong in my face. And I am a current graduating senior in college and I worked gig food delivery and I was like I cant. Honestly poverty is better then dying. So ive been going stir crazy in my apartment, taking my dog out for walks whenever possible.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by ToxicFlame »

Thank you...

That also brings up an interesting subject that goes really well in this forum.
A lot of people try to pull this whole, “I did this. Why can’t you?!” BS and that isn’t right... to anyone. It isn’t good to compare ourselves to others, and everyone has different limitations - whether they be physical, mental, or emotional. Some people will never understand that, and it’s taken me a looooong time to come to terms with it myself, especially because I beat myself up a lot.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by WingsOfFireDragon »

I am doing fine but keep on feeling like I should be doing more to help my family than just study. I also a lot of times think that I am not good enough to do a specific test and feel like I am a spoiled brat.

Tip: If you are having any troubles I find it helpful to write it in your diary or talk to your sibling/friend if you do not want to talk with your parents.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by WingsOfFireDragon »

God bless anyone who is having any troubles.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by ToxicFlame »

We all feel like we're not doing enough sometimes, or that we're not good enough. Gosh, I feel like that on a daily basis...

Just do your best. That is all that matters, that and you being taken care of. And if you really want to help... sometimes it can make you feel better to ask, to take some of that anxiety off your brain. "Hey, is there anything I can do to help?" Yes, and you can help. No, and you've alleviated some stress for yourself.
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by HobbitFeet »

I'm on new antidepressants. They're tailored more towards my needs now, rather than the ones I was taking while I was ill. It's helped immensely with the hot flashes I get now, which suck. It also makes me sleepy at night, so that's also is nice. I feel like I take too much melatonin as it is.

I've been missing going out, which is silly since I'm a homebody. But when I want out, I really want out.
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ToxicFlame
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Re: Therapy corner?

Post by ToxicFlame »

I wish you the best, Hobbit! <3
I feel your pain. I can really tell I need to be on different meds too. These 'work' and I can more or less afford em, but the other ones I've tried work better...
They just cost too much.

I'm also quickly realizing I'm developing a rather stromg panic-striking anxiety towards jobs... -.-
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