Otherkin

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Are you otherkin?

Yes, and I'm Therian.
15
21%
Yes, and I'm humanoid.
4
6%
Yes, and I'm something else.
11
15%
Maybe. I need to learn more about it.
8
11%
No, but I'm interested in learning about the concept.
33
46%
 
Total votes: 71

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Re: Otherkin

Post by 1anioh »

I am not an Otherkin. I refuse to accept being an Otherkin. Hell, I'd rather be stuck flopping around one of my animal guides in spirit form for the rest of my life than admit to being something other then human. Completely human. Not because I'm against them or anything, everyone is entitled to their own thing and I've seen enough and known enough people to understand that not everything in this world is black and white and obvious all over. No no, the problem is with me; or, more specifically, with my families heritage.

When I was little my grandmother and I use to go for walks together and she would tell me stories of how our great-great (several greats back) grandma had married a fairy, and so because of that all of the blood relatives had some form of fey blood in them. Now on my dads side of the family there was a bunch of tiny traditional Italian grandma's who used to tell me that I was related to the fairies too, and I always had to be careful near bridges because if the fairies found me they'd drag me back to their home through the mud at the bottom of the water. Which makes for awesome stories for a small child. Now the problem is this - I learned after I got older that the fairy on my mothers side of the family was a Brownie, and the fairy from my dad's side was a river troll. Great things to be related to right? One is a noseless house fairy who does chores or helps with harvest and the other lives under bridges and eats children. :< Neither one has magic, they aren't super special or amazing and because I've got the good grace of being the only child born that was a combo of these two bloodlines I'm the only one who was stuck with being ... like me.

So anyways, I refuse to accept that I might be anything other than human. Despite the fact that I have no sense of smell (for no medical reason, I just don't smell anything other then nature/water/and kitchen spices), am always aware of every source of nearby water, and I'm always able to pin point someplace I have dubbed as home and get back to it no matter how lost I am otherwise. Animals usually ignore me, they don't really care if I'm there or not. Which is weird but it makes it easy to go for walks at night, I never (usually) get barked at. I've also got this weird ability to get into weird places, places that as a hefty chick should not fit and most of the time the skinny people can't fit. But I repeat, I have no desire to admit to being related to a troll... *sighs* or a brownie.

Have you ever encountered someone who identified as otherkin? What were your impressions? I have actually, several. The most annoying one was an energy vampire. (That's kinda otherkin-ish right?) My general impressions of the people who are others though is that most of them try to do their best to blend in and usually don't even notice when they're doing something odd. Like making animal noises or picking up the phone before it rings.
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Re: Otherkin

Post by Chimera »

If you identify as otherkin, how did you arrive at that conclusion? Does it tie in with your religious or metaphysical beliefs? If so, how? If not, why?

-I am not convinced i am an Otherkin however i am opening myself to the research and communities regarding the topic rapidly and with open arms with great enthusiasm. I may very well be but i cannot identify my being as what exactly i am. If i was to believe in any form of cultural or even just personal belief, it would be akin to Native Americans in their belief every object in nature possesses a spirit, or soul. My personal beliefs are ones my mom passed down to me from her mom in that when we die, we are reincarnated a century later as something else, with no recollection of our past life.

If you identify as otherkin, what kind of otherkin are you? Do you display any of those traits in the course of normal interactions with the rest of the world? If so, how do people react? If not, do you wish you could/would?

-I cannot answer this truthfully because i have never felt comfortable being myself around people. I am quite shunned by those who i have attempted to interact with as my normal self. And of course because i havent been able to tell exactly who and what i am.

If you are not otherkin, do you believe the possibility exists? Why or why not?

-Of course, i have always felt out of place in human society. I have always since birth actively enjoyed a life with animals and i dream of a career educating the public about animals or becoming an animal behaivor researcher (not necessarily a scientist..). I have never, ever, felt comfortable with humans and when i was young, i did indeed walk around the house dressed like a cat, and acting like one down to actually helping my cat clean his fur, like how two cats do so to bond XD I would also eat and drink like them. I absolutely do fully believe through my belief of reincarnation and my own personal feelings that Otherkin are genuinely real as a state of mind.

How do YOU define otherkin?

-An Otherkin is a being who passed on and returned in life as something different then what they were in their past life. While most have no hint of feeling or memory of the previous life or any lives before then, Otherkin retain some memory subconsciously and may or may not struggle in their new life to varying degrees, depending on how clear these faint memories or feelings are to them and how easily they can recall these to identify what they were in their past life(ives).

Have you ever encountered someone who identified as otherkin? What were your impressions?

-I have not. I have been shunned all my life for being myself and i have never to date met someone in real life (like, that i can see and interact with in person) that shares my views. Unfortunately i have yet to figure out how i can come in contact with same-minded people in general, and preferably my age that arent creepers or weirdo's (like, genuine normal people that are Otherkin or at least at the bare minimum, furries since i am an avid enthusiast for the furry subculture).
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Re: Otherkin

Post by Cassowary »

TxCat wrote:
Cassowary wrote:And then I inevitably get nitpicky and ask what species are they?

... don't really have much else to say besides such, right now.

Oh, right. What are cybers?
Did you mean, what species of animal? I've actually given some thought to that. I would supposed that they would be classified in the same manner as any other new discovery. For instance, the shapeshifters and Therians could be designated lycanthria sapiens. I would be lycanthria sapiens latrans concolor.

For other groups, I would assume that an appropriate Latin or other linguistic root would be used.

Cybers, for me, are those folk whose souls or astral form or personalities have meshed with something mechanical. The best example is probably that of the Transformers and Decepticons. Another example would be mechanical animals. I've a friend named Steelwing who is like that; his form is that of a clockwork golden eagle.
I was referring more to your invertebrate companions (?).
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Re: Otherkin

Post by BBkat »

Cassowary wrote:
TxCat wrote:
Cassowary wrote:And then I inevitably get nitpicky and ask what species are they?

... don't really have much else to say besides such, right now.

Oh, right. What are cybers?
Did you mean, what species of animal? I've actually given some thought to that. I would supposed that they would be classified in the same manner as any other new discovery. For instance, the shapeshifters and Therians could be designated lycanthria sapiens. I would be lycanthria sapiens latrans concolor.

For other groups, I would assume that an appropriate Latin or other linguistic root would be used.

Cybers, for me, are those folk whose souls or astral form or personalities have meshed with something mechanical. The best example is probably that of the Transformers and Decepticons. Another example would be mechanical animals. I've a friend named Steelwing who is like that; his form is that of a clockwork golden eagle.
I was referring more to your invertebrate companions (?).
I could be wrong but, wouldn't wolf/werewolf shifters be the only thing that would fall into 'lycanthera' since 'lycan' comes from the Greek 'lykos' meaning wolf(hence why lycanthropy is a person becoming a wolf).
I remember doing reach search on the history of werewolves for a project and came across that and it said a more accurate term for a shifter would 'therianthropy' or 'zoanthropy' which simply means a person(thropy) that becomes an animal(therian-wild animal/beast) rather than a person that becomes a specific animal-such as a lycanthrope.
I mean, there were also Ailuranthropes(cat), and Cynanthropes(dogs-not wolves) though I suppose you could affix any Greek animal name(the word for that animal in greek since thrope is also Greek) to the front of 'thrope/thropy' depending on what fit best since as it quite clear not every shifter/therian is a wolf.
(As ridiculous as it sounds I got that part of my information here- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therianthropy)
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Re: Otherkin

Post by TNHawke »

JurroRath wrote:... Anyway, another thing is that I sometimes tend to do animal-listic things without meaning to, like walking on my toes and sometimes going into a sort of 'sentry mode', where I'm actively looking around and studying my surroundings, though there's often nothing there and it's just to pass time while I wait for whatever.
I hadn't thought of it this way, but I do this too. I usually call it 'people watching'. But, I also do it when there's no one around. I thought I was just being aware of my surroundings and not being mugger bait... but isn't that what a sentry is supposed to do?

JurroRath wrote:As I mentioned on the previous thread, I believe I might also be an energy being of sorts, or have some magical ability or something to do with auras, as, the few times I have actually meditated, I've seen all sorts of dancing colors and shapes behind my eyes. Whenever I close my eyes for long enough, they're there, just very muted because I always keep my room lit. It's only when I press my hands against my eyes for a while that they come out in full bloom. There's almost always a muted black background to it, but sometimes it'll shift to another color, usually blue. It's an interesting and pretty display- what significance it has, I have no clue, other than possibly something with my aura, or maybe my rather broad imagination. I'd believe either.
I hate to burst your bubble on this one, but this is a normal physical phenomena. Here's some basic information via wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed-eye_hallucination read all the way down to the bottom, and if something sounds familiar, do some further research on it. Also, it's not good for your eyes to have pressure on them like that. It can cause retinal damage.
Wiki wrote:Physical retinal stimulation

CEV is unrelated to the visual noise seen when the retina is physically stimulated. The retina can be made to produce light patterns of visual noise simply by one rubbing their eyes somewhat forcefully in a manner that increases intraocular pressure. Additionally retinal noise can be produced by touching near the rear of the eyeball (for example, if one closes their eyes, looks all the way left, and lightly touches the rightmost part of the eye socket, this produces visual noise in the shape of a circle that appears at the left side of the visual field - a practice that is neither painful nor dangerous). None of these are closed-eye hallucinations.
JurroRath wrote: This is often accompanied by images of said form running through random terrian, fast as lightning. Though, when actually trying to run, I often end up doubled over in pain simply because my body is pretty horribly out of shape
Hee! I do this too. Both parts.


JurroRath wrote:one strange thing though is that, while I get the normal pains in my sides and in my legs, I also get horrible pains on my upper back between my shoulder blades, right where I always imagine my wings would be if I had any. This is probably just my imagination, and the simple fact that I'm not very fit, but I'm not entirely sold on that idea, though I'm trying very hard not to sell myself on the idea of being an otherkin either.
The sensation of phantom limbs is probably one of the defining characteristics of Otherkin. (not that everyone does, and not everyone who defines themself as 'Kin feels them, but it is extremely common)
Here's the interesting thing about phantom pain, which is medically researched. When a person has a body part amputated- say an arm or a leg, afterwards, they will often report feeling pain in the limb that is no longer there. There's no nerves to fire, they shouldn't be feeling anything, so what the heck? It has baffled doctors and scientists for years. However, even though the nerves in the limb are severed and gone, the area of the brain they were attached to still remains. And that will continue to process information. Maybe it realizes the limb is gone and thinks "hey, you should be feeling pain!" or maybe it's just random firing of synapses that your conscious mind then interprets at pain or other sensations.
So... if the brain will continue to recognize a limb that is no longer there, could it be that the brain is recognizing limbs that SHOULD be there? Is that why we feel wings and tails and such? That some part of our brain knows it should be there and neurons fire accordingly? or, do we just have really active imaginations, and the brain is a wonderfully detailed organ and we can imagine these sensations and thus we get them?
My own experiences with phantom limbs and pain-
When I was an adolescent, my canine teeth were coming in over top of all the rest of my teeth- my mouth is too small for them all. So, the dentist extracted my cuspids on either side and allowed my canines to move down into the newly opened slot. We thought I would need braces to finish it out, but nope, they moved in perfectly and except for missing a couple on top, I have surprisingly straight, nice teeth. I have felt a tingle from that spot ever since. I always wondered if it was a phantom 'pain' (it doesn't actually hurt) or just my imagination. Insert many years. My top wisdom teeth have come in, but practically sideways. One rubs against my cheek, irritating my cheek, then, because it's hard to brush, and it's always against skin, it develops a cavity and ultimately a corner breaks off! Now, I've got this sharp, jagged crater in my tooth REALLY cutting into my cheek. Remembering the sensation from the cuspids, I start concentrating on those wisdom teeth- I can't feel them. No tingle, nothing. I got them pulled about a week after the break happened. Let them heal up. Sure enough, even years later I can feel a tingle in the back, upper corner of my jaw where those teeth used to be.
Here's where it gets fun. That tingle is a nearly identical tingle that I get in my back, where wings would attach, in my lower spine, where a tail would attach, even in my finger and toe tips where claws would be. When I sit back and relax- or even standing up, in public, all I have to do is concentrate on them a bit, and I can feel everything- the beak, the ears, even the feathers and fur. I have felt the wind ruffle them.
Overactive imagination? Maybe. Sensations of parts I should have, but physically don't? Maybe.
JurroRath wrote: Then I actually looked into what otherkin was, and.. I'm not too sure how to describe it. It almost seemed.. relieving? Uplifting? I don't know, the only thing I've been able to think since I found out is that it's just right. I can't describe it, I honestly can't, it's just right. So, I'll end with that.
I had that exact same experience when I first encountered the word and definition. Relieving, and exciting. That's what it was.

ok, now I've rambled enough too.
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Hawke needs to concentrate on other things, and is leaving MS permanently.

Thank you all for many fun years.
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Re: Otherkin

Post by Sinornis »

TxCat wrote:
Cassowary wrote:And then I inevitably get nitpicky and ask what species are they?

... don't really have much else to say besides such, right now.

Oh, right. What are cybers?
Did you mean, what species of animal? I've actually given some thought to that. I would supposed that they would be classified in the same manner as any other new discovery. For instance, the shapeshifters and Therians could be designated lycanthria sapiens. I would be lycanthria sapiens latrans concolor.

For other groups, I would assume that an appropriate Latin or other linguistic root would be used.

Cybers, for me, are those folk whose souls or astral form or personalities have meshed with something mechanical. The best example is probably that of the Transformers and Decepticons. Another example would be mechanical animals. I've a friend named Steelwing who is like that; his form is that of a clockwork golden eagle.
Yup. Finally someone who gets the slight gist of my heritege!! exept we are either born from the All Spark, or we reproduce like humans. there are no souls meshing with machines. that is simply a bunch of bored spirets screwing around with possesion. I am a Techno-Organic Decepticon(which is a faction, not a race!). If you're wondering why I have not been killed by my fellow D-cons yet cuz I am part human, well lets just say no one wants to end up on the wrong end of dads fusion cannon! lol.
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Re: Otherkin

Post by Cassowary »

I feel like a lot of this is just ascribing typically "animalistic" behaviors down to due to being some sort of otherkin when really most people do feel such or similar urges, they just don't act upon them because it's socially looked down upon/"weird" :| Sure, I like to chase squirrels, but that doesn't mean I'm a dog.
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Re: Otherkin

Post by JurroRath »

TNHawke wrote:
JurroRath wrote:... Anyway, another thing is that I sometimes tend to do animal-listic things without meaning to, like walking on my toes and sometimes going into a sort of 'sentry mode', where I'm actively looking around and studying my surroundings, though there's often nothing there and it's just to pass time while I wait for whatever.
I hadn't thought of it this way, but I do this too. I usually call it 'people watching'. But, I also do it when there's no one around. I thought I was just being aware of my surroundings and not being mugger bait... but isn't that what a sentry is supposed to do?
Heh, yup :3 I always feel safer and more in control after I've had a good look around personally. That might just be because my anxiety tends to make me jump at shadows though XP

TNHawke wrote:
JurroRath wrote:As I mentioned on the previous thread, I believe I might also be an energy being of sorts, or have some magical ability or something to do with auras, as, the few times I have actually meditated, I've seen all sorts of dancing colors and shapes behind my eyes. Whenever I close my eyes for long enough, they're there, just very muted because I always keep my room lit. It's only when I press my hands against my eyes for a while that they come out in full bloom. There's almost always a muted black background to it, but sometimes it'll shift to another color, usually blue. It's an interesting and pretty display- what significance it has, I have no clue, other than possibly something with my aura, or maybe my rather broad imagination. I'd believe either.
I hate to burst your bubble on this one, but this is a normal physical phenomena. Here's some basic information via wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed-eye_hallucination read all the way down to the bottom, and if something sounds familiar, do some further research on it. Also, it's not good for your eyes to have pressure on them like that. It can cause retinal damage.
Wiki wrote:Physical retinal stimulation

CEV is unrelated to the visual noise seen when the retina is physically stimulated. The retina can be made to produce light patterns of visual noise simply by one rubbing their eyes somewhat forcefully in a manner that increases intraocular pressure. Additionally retinal noise can be produced by touching near the rear of the eyeball (for example, if one closes their eyes, looks all the way left, and lightly touches the rightmost part of the eye socket, this produces visual noise in the shape of a circle that appears at the left side of the visual field - a practice that is neither painful nor dangerous). None of these are closed-eye hallucinations.
Ack, I didn't realize ._. Guess that's what I get for not researching. Derp. Oh well, I don't know how much I cared for spirit watching XD
TNHawke wrote:
JurroRath wrote:one strange thing though is that, while I get the normal pains in my sides and in my legs, I also get horrible pains on my upper back between my shoulder blades, right where I always imagine my wings would be if I had any. This is probably just my imagination, and the simple fact that I'm not very fit, but I'm not entirely sold on that idea, though I'm trying very hard not to sell myself on the idea of being an otherkin either.
The sensation of phantom limbs is probably one of the defining characteristics of Otherkin. (not that everyone does, and not everyone who defines themself as 'Kin feels them, but it is extremely common)
Here's the interesting thing about phantom pain, which is medically researched. When a person has a body part amputated- say an arm or a leg, afterwards, they will often report feeling pain in the limb that is no longer there. There's no nerves to fire, they shouldn't be feeling anything, so what the heck? It has baffled doctors and scientists for years. However, even though the nerves in the limb are severed and gone, the area of the brain they were attached to still remains. And that will continue to process information. Maybe it realizes the limb is gone and thinks "hey, you should be feeling pain!" or maybe it's just random firing of synapses that your conscious mind then interprets at pain or other sensations.
So... if the brain will continue to recognize a limb that is no longer there, could it be that the brain is recognizing limbs that SHOULD be there? Is that why we feel wings and tails and such? That some part of our brain knows it should be there and neurons fire accordingly? or, do we just have really active imaginations, and the brain is a wonderfully detailed organ and we can imagine these sensations and thus we get them?
My own experiences with phantom limbs and pain-
When I was an adolescent, my canine teeth were coming in over top of all the rest of my teeth- my mouth is too small for them all. So, the dentist extracted my cuspids on either side and allowed my canines to move down into the newly opened slot. We thought I would need braces to finish it out, but nope, they moved in perfectly and except for missing a couple on top, I have surprisingly straight, nice teeth. I have felt a tingle from that spot ever since. I always wondered if it was a phantom 'pain' (it doesn't actually hurt) or just my imagination. Insert many years. My top wisdom teeth have come in, but practically sideways. One rubs against my cheek, irritating my cheek, then, because it's hard to brush, and it's always against skin, it develops a cavity and ultimately a corner breaks off! Now, I've got this sharp, jagged crater in my tooth REALLY cutting into my cheek. Remembering the sensation from the cuspids, I start concentrating on those wisdom teeth- I can't feel them. No tingle, nothing. I got them pulled about a week after the break happened. Let them heal up. Sure enough, even years later I can feel a tingle in the back, upper corner of my jaw where those teeth used to be.
Here's where it gets fun. That tingle is a nearly identical tingle that I get in my back, where wings would attach, in my lower spine, where a tail would attach, even in my finger and toe tips where claws would be. When I sit back and relax- or even standing up, in public, all I have to do is concentrate on them a bit, and I can feel everything- the beak, the ears, even the feathers and fur. I have felt the wind ruffle them.
Overactive imagination? Maybe. Sensations of parts I should have, but physically don't? Maybe.
First, that tooth think sounds horrible 3X I hate when people try to poke things into my mouth or something. Course, I'm going to have to get braces at some point because my teeth all grew in weird, but my frontmost tooth *Taps it* is starting to feel sort of loose, so, I guess I'm glad I'll be getting them. Might have to get a couple teeth pulled on my bottom set though, they're all scrunched together. Not that I mind- it's the top ones that worry me. The bottom ones have never given me trouble XP

Anyway, hmm. The bit about severed limbs has always interested me. One of our cats lost her foot from the ankle down because it got caught in a fence. She's alright, but everytime she goes to scratch a flee, she just ends up rubbing at it with the nub that's left. She also continually tries to use it while walking. I always feel bad for her when I see that, but she's a perfectly healthy momma cat otherwise, and doesn't seem to really care about missing a foot. I should go out and give her a good scritch though next time I go out to see her kitten, those flees are probably getting annoying XP

Back on topic, I've never really tried to just sit back and imagine myself the creature I believe myself to be. Well, sometimes I do, but it's usually more of a pretend thing than me actually trying to be the creature. I should give that a try sometime. Seems like a good way to replace my previous meditation X3 The claws bit is interesting as well, since anytime I stretch I often curl up my fingers and scratch them against a wall or at the air. I try not to scratch them against a wall too often since that can both damage the wall and my nails, but sometimes I have a mental slip and do it anyway :V I also tend to yawn like an animal- teeth bare, tongue curled and everthing. Or try to anyway- my mouth don't quite stretch wide enough :V

That's another thing- it never feels like my mouth can stretch wide enough. I'll get a big burger or something, and be like 'Oh, I can easy down this in a few bites :33'- anyone who's ever taken me out to a restaurant or else just sat a meal down in front of me knows that my priority is meal > conversation, since I always try to stuff the food down my throat as quickly as I can :V- but when I try, I end up taking much smaller bites than what I thought I'd do. Sometimes I can take bigger ones, but that's only if I shove whatever I'm eating in as far as I can without choking, and it's still never quite the size I figured it'd be.
Cassowary wrote:I feel like a lot of this is just ascribing typically "animalistic" behaviors down to due to being some sort of otherkin when really most people do feel such or similar urges, they just don't act upon them because it's socially looked down upon/"weird" :| Sure, I like to chase squirrels, but that doesn't mean I'm a dog.
I think most Otherkin have accepted the idea that we're all just crazy and making things up. But for a lot of us, there's parts we can't really explain other than that we're not quite human. Are we crazy? Probably. Should we locked away never to return? Some of us I'm sure, though most lead fairly normal lives outside of a few details that most people would just pass off if told, but that seem glaring to that 'kin- I recall one walk with my aunt and cousin, we walked 2 miles to get to where my aunt worked, and my wingbases starting to get sore, so I said, almost in passing 'My back hurts where I think wings would be'- I don't quite know why I said it either, everyone was quiet and I wanted something to break the silence- and my aunt responded with something along the lines of 'I don't want wings where I'm hurting' and then the subject dropped. But the entire trip, I could still feel them aching, though by the end of it, my entire body was aching, so I mostly just passed it off as nothing by that point. Realistically, we're probably just people with a strong affinity for whatever we believe ourselves to be. I doubt there's any 'kin who deny that possibility. We try to keep realistic, but as I said, there's just some parts that feel a little too non-human. It's all up to interpretation.
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Re: Otherkin

Post by TNHawke »

It's rather incredible how resilient animals can be. Not only do three legged dogs and cats get around just fine, but there are more and more stories about twisty legged cats and two legged cats and dogs coming out.
You might ask your parents about getting some repellent/killer flea drops for the cats. There's a number of brands that are cheap and effective.

As to sitting back and relaxing and feeling it--
I guess I'll share my journey of discovery.

So, from earliest childhood, I would pretend to be various animals. Probably a pretty normal little kid behavior. Mom has photos of me galloping around the yard, flapping my arms because I was a pegasus. I toyed around with the idea between 8 and 9 years old that I really WAS a pegasus. A pegasus queen, from another planet sent to earth on some dire mission to save my people, but because I had hit my head, I couldn't remember what it was! (or maybe it was the change into a human body and being born that borked it?)
In third grade, Transformers came out, and I practically lived and breathed them. I played with my My Little Ponies and had a ton of them (still have them, actually, they're in a bin over there.), and watched the cartoon, but I LOVED Transformers. First, I pretended to be Swoop, the Pteranodon dinobot, then I started making up my own, including the Real-a-bots. They had their robot form, and a squishy flesh form, as well as both the robot/human, and an animal form. I WAS these characters every waking moment.
At 10, I learned about werewolves and developed a keen interest in them. There were even 'recipes' for how to become one in several books I checked out from the library. Unfortunately, they all required herbs I didn't know how to get and things like baby's blood (which I was ALMOST willing to get out of my little brother!) I wanted so desperately to be one. It was at this age that I first became aware of my ears. My physical ears don't move unless I hold them with my hands and move them. But I can feel muscles twitching, tingling, almost burning, and I can envision and even feel those wolf-like ears moving around.
But wolves don't have wings.
8th grade, I pretended to be a Ninja Turtle, same as I had with the Transformers before. I was a shapeshifter with several forms. Wolf and eagle/falcon/hawk... I forget which.
11th grade, I changed to Nighthawk, the character who became my first really defined dissociative other. I was her, or various members of her supporting cast, descendents of them, etc, for several years. Nighthawk was human with the ability to shift into horse, panther, wolf and hawk, and later gained a dragon and gargoyle form.
The common thread was 'more than human' and 'the ability to change into animal forms'
In my 20s, I started to learn about psychic abilities and the astral plane and such. I toyed with the idea that maybe my soul wasn't quite as human as my body was. Or maybe my astral form was something else.
But I was still trying to fit into a mold. I 'tried on' a simple red-tailed hawk form. It felt good, but not right. My hands are talons, not wings. My feet also have claws and my wings are on my back. My tail is definitely not made up of long, stiff feathers.
So I tried on Griffin, and that was closer still. The basic form felt right, but... there was still a horn, and eagle/lion felt wrong.
And, so finally, I said, "screw all the classical creatures. I am me. What am I?"
And I felt the back claws, not like a lion, more like a furry Gargoyle, the tail like an archaeopterix, with feathers down either side of an otherwise feline tail. Broad and long wings. Talons like a hawk on the front feet. Feathers from the chest up and fur from the waist down. A horse-like mane of feathers down the back of my neck. And a unicorn horn.
So close, it felt so close.
That was when I joined the Gryphon Guild and learned the words Therian and Otherkin. I continued to explore my metaphysical self and realized that I have membrane like a dragon, as well as feathers in my wings. My horn is not long and straight like a unicorn, nor is it branched like antlers. It was more like a Kirin horn, curving up and over my head with a couple of small spines curving forward again.
This was right. This was the Griff Ov Sorts, and I remained in that form for years.
Only recently, within the past 3 or 4 have I changed.
My forlimbs used to be bare and scaled like a hawk. One evening, on my way home from work, I realized that I had small spikes growing from those scales. This confused me, although I knew I was shifting and changing and was ok with that. Eventually, those spikes grew longer, and then feathery plumes, and I realized they were PIN FEATHERS! My front lets are now feathered all the way down, and even have soft downy feathers over the toes. I have protective plates covering my chest and belly, as well as small scales across my sides. My primary feathers are not feathers, but membrane stretched individually over bone and cartilage, with actual feather coverts. My horn is now a double crest, and my mane runs the entire length of my spine. My tail is no longer feathered, but has membrane and bone near the base, and a feathery plume at the end. My back feet are a bit more paw-like.
I have settled into this form, and once again it feels right. This is the Hawkeburd.


I'm curious what others' journeys of self discovery have been like.
Hawke's IRL fiance, Lunaroki, suffered a massive stroke and died on Tuesday, March 31st, 2015.

Hawke needs to concentrate on other things, and is leaving MS permanently.

Thank you all for many fun years.
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JurroRath
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Joined: June 7th, 2009, 6:52:12 pm
Gender: Literally just six cats of varying gender identities sharing a suit of human skin

Re: Otherkin

Post by JurroRath »

We actually do have a bottle of flea powder, I've just completely forgotten about it since we normally only use it to dust the kitten beds so they don't end up getting sick from the fleas. I'll see about getting some of it on her tomorrow when I go out to see her kitten- I couldn't get to her today cause she wouldn't come out of the grape vines her and her kitten hide in XP

I have to say, that's a pretty amazing story. I relate to quite a bit of it too, though for me it was playing with characters on Disney Channel. I only even glanced at the other shows- I'd sit and watch them if I saw them, but I never knew what channel they were on XP Anyway, I can't say I've necessarily evolved myself, but I've had a character for ages that I always use to represent me. She's the one I feel most comfortable as, and is a near perfect replica of my personality [I tend to play her up as braver or stronger than I actually am, at least in my mind], so, I suppose I'll tell the story of how she evolved.

Originally, it was Firestar, a white wolf with sparkledog markings [you can tell I was young when I made her up, no?]. She was mean, rude, cocky, and all around rather unpleasant to be around, which was more or less me at the time since that was back when I hated people and longed to be something other than human. She/we could parade around as happy-go-lucky sorts, but anytime something came up that was slightly frustrating, we'd snap. Didn't matter what it was, didn't matter how stupid we were for getting upset, we'd snap. She stayed my fursona for a while. I used to watch Animal Planet a lot, and when Meerkat Manor came around, I thought it was the most amazing show ever. I used to run around like a meerkat and pretend to be one constantly. I'd often try to get my brother to play with me, but I always got mad at him because he couldn't run right- his butt was always sticking up in the air, meanwhile I could [and probably still can if I wanted to] get my body to be almost perfectly leveled and ran through the house quite comfortably like that. I swear I could've run for ages like that, even after I started having trouble running regularly. Thinking back on it makes me want to take a run through a field or something. One of the things though that would stop me was when one of my legs would kick my wrist and cut it- I never cut it bad enough to be worrying, but it usually put me off for a few hours while I waited for the pain to go away. Another thing is my back would get sore and tired, so I'd have to sit and recover for a bit.

Funny little story about trying to sit though- because of the way I ran, I'd always just settle back into a squatting position. Oddly enough though, I never fully felt comfortable like that. It always felt like my rump should be touching the floor, but every time I sat back onto it, I ended up with my knees against my chest and my feet fully on the floor [as opposed to just on the toes when I was running], which never felt right either. None of this was present in Firestar though, she could run perfectly fine, and I began to join meerkat roleplays with her. At her core, she was still a wolf, but she might as well just have been a meerkat- in fact, if I could draw meerkats back then, I probably would've made her one, I almost never played her as a wolf. Well, at some point, I started to grow, I dunno, disconnected with her I guess, and I started treating her as just a character. I can't say it was because she wasn't a meerkat, because it would've been all too easy for me to go 'POOF you're a meerkat'. I'm not totally sure why I disconnected from her, I just sorta've did. I decided to give her a mate and puppies at one point, which ultimately sealed the deal and I fully stopped being her. One of the puppies though, Jurro, became my new 'host' character, if you will. A part of me thinks it might've just been because I wanted to changed Firestar's name and appearance, since that's basically what happened, Firestar became the loving mother and Jurro became what Firestar had been. Why couldn't I just say 'her name is Jurro now and she's a black wolf '?

Well, I could've publicly, but my friend and I had a sort of constant rp going on, so for storyline sakes, I made Jurro Firestar's puppy and then just sorta've bled into her I guess. Jurro/I killed off her family, leaving me with just Jurro, which I felt a lot more comfortable with. She felt closer to what I was than Firestar had ever been, and we're basically one and the same now. I began using her in all my roleplays, and eventually, I came across a fantasy meerkat rp. I messed around in it for a while, and eventually, with the added creative freedom it allowed for, I gave her wings. I'd always been fascinated by the idea of flight, and giving her/me wings felt right. I seemed a lot more complete now. I've never really added anything else to my look since- I experimented with some simple spiked collars and whatnot, but it never stuck. That's just what I've been ever since, and not a day passes by where I don't picture myself as like that walking through the hall to stalk the kitchen or playing with a cat. I've experimented with different color schemes, but I've yet to settle on one other than that my basic fur color is the same as a meerkat's, and my wings are scaly and usually black with different colored membrane. Otherwise, the rest is up in the air. I'm quite content with my physical appearance though, at least for now. Maybe it'll change later, maybe not, I don't know, but for now, I'm happy :3

Lol, this whole thing sounds like I'm describing a roleplay character ;P Well, Firestar I would consider just a roleplay character now- she was me for quite a while, but I don't think I ever felt truly comfortable as her, not nearly as much as I do with Jurro now. With Jurro, I ended up adopting her name, and as I said, I'm almost constantly imagining myself looking as she does, and her personality is exactly like my own, with all the physical and mental limitations that come with it. I'd love the chance to just go out onto a field and run around freely- preferably with some sort of padding on my hands and feet, plain skin just doesn't do it against thorns and other such pokies XP- and just act out as I'd like to. I was forced to grow out of it because of everyone around me saying I needed to act more mature, but if I could, I'd probably still run around the house and pretend to dig burrows and hide from predators.
Currently on/off activity. Mostly just gathering pets and gold atm.
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