MagiStream

CrystalSong wrote:I don't even want to adopt. I know it sounds cruel, but I dislike younger kids immensely, because they don't know how to voice their needs. I'd end up strangling a poor kid who couldn't spit out what they want fast enough.

I don't think that's horrid or cruel. Not everyone is meant or suited to raise children. I realized early on that if I had children, I would quickly be on the other end of social services because I too do not have much patience with a being who cannot articulate needs clearly in a vocabulary I can understand. Since children spend the first three or four years in that phase, I'd likely literally end up killing or hurting one.

I have, however, had to modify my "absolutely not" stance since Dee's twins were born. Cajuns have a large extended family network and everyone is expected to do what they can. I love Vandy and Roslyn because they're his and because their mother is a dear friend, but they both also understand my limitations. I'm not forced to spend long hours with the babies and they recognize that when the children are older I'll have other things to offer.

Hello, all

Do you have any particular reasons for it or do you just dislike children?

I have several reasons for being childfree. Reason #1 - I grew up in a frightening environment for the first 19 years of my life, and as a result of that I'm mentally unstable. I don't know if it's because of that abuse, but regardless, I believe the world is bad and people are bad. So when I think about bringing a new life into this world of suffering and pain, I think of it as being cruel. Also, the way I've seen teenagers treat and talk about their parents, it makes me all the more wary to want to raise one. I've had enough negativity in my life; I don't need more.

Reason #2 - I'm selfish. I like having enough money to buy a book if I want. I like having the peace and quiet in my home (goes back to #1. I never had that). I like being able to decide at 2 am that I'm hungry, and my husband and I can up and leave to go sit at a diner by ourselves and spend an hour talking while we eat. I like being able to sleep when I want. I like spending the weekends doing whatever I want instead of going to school/sport activities. I like my freedom. I like my time to myself. And I'm sure I can keep going. Basically, I don't want to give any of it up for something I don't find beneficial.

Reason #3 - I don't understand children. As strange as it may sound, I don't know what to do with them. They can't hold an intelligent conversation, they don't understand my humor, I can't go to them with my problems and get advice, I can't go hang out with them in an adult environment. So yes...I just...don't know what to do with them In light of that same reason, my mind can't wrap around their appeal. I don't find them cute, I don't find them sweet, I don't find them funny. Not to mention, baby/kid slobber is some of the worst. The way they stick their whole fists into their mouths or make spit bubbles, and then insist on touching everything and handing you food to eat, it can make someone cry.

Spoiler

Like several months ago when I went to visit my in laws, my sister in law insisted on getting me to kiss her granddaughter in front of everyone. As horrifying as it sounded, I decided a little kiss was better than offending the whole family. So I leaned in...and the kid licked, stuck her tongue full out and slid it along, my face. While everyone laughed, I about burst into tears as I furiously wiped the saliva off. Awful. I still get shivers when I think about it.

I don't hate children. I'm not mean or cruel to them; I simply avoid them.

Are people you know accepting of this?

The only one who ever has been is my close friend and a distant grandmother. They both have told me that if it's something that won't make me happy then it's something I shouldn't pursue. Everyone else either waves it off as a phase, or are disgusted by it, namely my in laws who are the family of professional breeders. I have never spoken to them or seen them where someone wasn't newly pregnant.

How do you deal with people who keep asking you repeatedly if you are serious and not joking or the like?

I simply deal, I guess. I've gotten to the point where I usually ignore questions or remarks like that.

What about the lovely "you'll change your mind as you grow older"?

More or less the same as above. Sometimes it's easier to just let people believe what they want to believe. In the case of my in laws, I've begun telling them "someday" and it seems to appease them enough that they generally leave me alone about it.

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Do I want children? Find out at the end of this post.

I am childfree at this point in time and still a virgin and single at 21 and I want to keep it that way. I am also a selfish person and do not want to have to spend god knows how much money on a child. I am also living in the poor house right now and in college so I have no money or time for a child.

I am first and foremost an animal lover and act very motherly towards animals. Children? Not so much. I am very awkward around children younger than 5 years of age. The reason? I grew up around people older than me as well as animals. I had a friend who was 5 years old (4 years younger than me) so that is why 5 is my tolerable age.

I am not a people person at all. My social skills practically suck and I have very few friends who rarely even call me. When you've been teased and taunted in elementary school because of what you look like due to your father's genes (which are sadly quite dominant in me), it makes you hate people quite a bit especially children. Even though I had friends in elementary school, it still sucked. One school I went to I had no friends except for the ones that lived on my block and would not play with me during recess. Most of those were older than me. Then I moved and gained new friends but they eventually moved away and Jr. High started. *Sighs* Jr. High and High School were my loneliest years and even worse than elementary school. At one point I even withdrew and did online schooling (not gonna go into it, way too personal). I couldn't concentrate that way so back to school I went.

Not gonna go into my whole history it would take too long. Let me summarize this up: While my life sucked, it was not as bad as it could have been. I was never abused and I was rather well behaved.

I am a nice person, but very mistrustful unless you can get my trust. If you break it, good luck getting back and if you do, it won't be completely. One reason I would make a terrible parent to a child. I don't trust children on principle unless I can just tell they are trustful. Believe me, that doesn't happen very often. Usually only happens in older children.

Don't know if I stated it, but I am a very lazy person. Children drive me up a wall with their hyperactiveness since I just like to sit around and relax and do nothing all day. I hate getting up constantly and only will if I have to do something.

I like time to myself and hate sharing it with others (not counting animals in that) so that rules out children entirely. I can barely tolerate my mother in my face all the damn time, how can I tolerate a child in my home?

I am also very child-like in many ways, though that does make me immature. I would make a better big-sister than a mother.

Pregnancy and birth? Urgh, no thank you. Not to mention we have way too many people in the world as it is. Adoption is the way to go. I also think there should be a law that people can only have one child of their own and then if they want more, adopt. At least until the population goes down and parentless children get homes.

Now, if in fact I DO want children in the future, I will adopt older children. 5+ only of course. I will more than likely stay single unless I can find a guy for me, but that won't happen. I never even had a boyfriend in high school... What makes it possible that I will get one out of high school?

I have pretty good genes as far as medical conditions go. The worst any child of mine may get is sinus problems and bad eyesight unless I happen to be carrying a gene that I don't know of. Still, I won't take that chance.

OK, I'm done. Long post is long.

I'm childfree by choice.

I do have health issues that make it easier for me to 'choose' to be childfree, but if I wanted children, these could be overcome. My primary reasons for being childfree are twofold. The first: I never wanted children. The second: I believe it's irresponsible to contribute to overpopulation in this day and age.

Genetically it's probably not a good idea for me to have children; I have Familial Paraganglioma Syndrome which I survived, but has killed many of my relatives. That said, if I truly wanted children, I'd probably still have them. The urge to procreate in some people is extremely overwhelming for some. I consider myself fortunate that my biological clock is more concerned with the fostering and rehabilitation of rescue animals, than it is with human babies.

I am constantly being nagged by my in laws to start popping out babies, I find it extremely annoying. It's my body, and it's my marriage. My husband and I will decide when we want to have children if at all. To be honest I don't want children, but my husband does. I care for him dearly so I take into consideration his feelings on the subject. But It's like my in laws planned out my husbands life before he even met me. "He will get married and start popping out kids within the year, then we will all buy a big property and put enough houses on it for the whole family and run a farm. The women folk will stay home and bare foot and pregnant and the men shall go to work." Thats what my father in laws big dream is, and taking absolutely no consideration into the fact that I might have my own plans.
1. we're not financially set, and I'm fairly certain with the economy the way it is I would have to get government "Help" to support a child, costing a few more people a few more tax dollars.
2. My sister is in school and I hear stories all the time like one week two kids were sexually involved for half the bus ride and the bus driver never even knew it. The last thing I want to do is bring a kid up in a world like this when it seems like everyone is so warped not to mention the fact that all advertising is is sex it seems like. I don't want my kids watching television then it flips over to commercial and all you see are half naked celebrities prancing across the television. No one has any shame anymore as far covering up their bodies.
3. Kids would put me in a mental institution right now, I have absolutely no patience as far as kids are concerned. whenever I babysit for anybody I want the kids to just behave no monkey business, it's hard for me to calm down and go "they're just kids, this is what kids do".

Well...I am 19, still a virgin, and childfree, and I probably will remain childfree even if I do happen to find that special someone to settle down with. I have numerous health issues and my doctor has warned me that they are likely hereditary, and knowing the pain that I have had to endure, I feel that it would be unfair to subject my child with the same pain. If I happen to change my mind at a later time however and decide that I do want children, it will probably be through adoption.

wanting to be childfree and not liking children are two different issues. yes i would think if you disliked children then it would go that you would chose to be childfree but at the same time i do not think liking children means you want to have your own. i was a preschool teacher for a number of years and was good at it and i love children but i never decided to have my own. i had my own reasons some of them quite good reasons but they don't really matter since the outcome is the same, no children for me. now i am no longer able to have children due to having had cancer but i am at peace with it, there are enough children in the world who can use a little attention and affection from me and that is more than enough for me.

i am going to have lager fammliy . I have always wanted a lot of kids. the only resson i do not have kids now is because i am 16 and not ready to be a mother and i am a virgen

I think that I am going to have about 2 or three kids. But I will NOT have children intill I am married. Becuase I belive that I am WAY too young to have children. But that is how I feel now I may have no children, it depends on what me and my husband think.