MagiStream

I have not told him. As matter of fact I LIED and told him I would love to have his children. The more I think about it the more I wanna have it all ripped out. I am about to turn 30. They will tear it out if I ask here in Nevada. The thing is would this be a deal breaker between us? He is about to have child #2 with the other sig other in our little poly amorous family. I am not ok with going through what she is going through. I hate pain pills but she can't even get any sleep without them and is not due till JULY! That child just sits on her nerve and she hurts the whole time and can not find any comfort. And she is the one working! None of this is acceptable. I am going to stay on birth control unless he says something and then have it out. The whole progress does not look good. And with someone who has a bad temper, me who is passive agressive as all hell, the older half sibs, the shit the kid would go through at school for having a mommy and another mommy (even though she and I are not bumping uglies nor would I touch another girl in that way ever) and perhaps another daddy even (if he gets two women I get two men its fair and equal!) I have serious defects in my gene pool. There are unwanted offspring everywhere. I am more of the belief I should be fatally shooting/killing in some other way all the drug dealers(admittedly someone spawned them and they are someone's children) not potentially bringing another drug user like my stupid mother into the world.
No one can tell me I do not have a legit reason to hate them. Look at my childhood and be glad I am not actually as violent as I wish I could be.
So having been raised by my grandmother under a cloud of verbally denied debt for this kindness i see no reason i should spawn and every reason not. I have been child free for decades and I might be keeping it that way. How much do I love him and does he love me at all if he would even ask me to after what he is seeing her go through?
OK emotionally drained and sad. Now I am going to browse the other topics a bit and crash

flamekaat wrote:I have not told him. As matter of fact I LIED and told him I would love to have his children. ... How much do I love him and does he love me at all if he would even ask me to after what he is seeing her go through?
OK emotionally drained and sad. Now I am going to browse the other topics a bit and crash

...Well, you probably shouldn't have told him that. If you feel pressured enough to tell him something that's really simple to say no to, you'll probably feel pressured into having a kid too(especially if it's getting to a "well she did so why can't you?" standpoint). If it ever comes up again you should just tell him flat out instead of lying, because that doesn't do any good for anybody.

On the subject of love, though, having children is just one of those things couples can't compromise-- for some it really doesn't matter how much you love each other. Children are a deal breaker if you're on opposite sides-- this is how it would be for me should I ever enter a relationship.

Yeah it was more of a "hormonal' moment then an actual lie. Of course at the time I wanted babies. My Female parts were overreacting. yeah its probably going to be a deal breaker. I don't want to violate my body in that way.I am already overweight and have thyroid under activity and high blood pressure. This is not a safe environment for a child *indicates self* back to bed with me!

33, female and childfree. And planning on staying that way. (well.. planning on staying childfree. There's not much I can do about the age, and changing the female part... erm... more effort than it would be worth, even if I wanted to! lol!)

I was given baby dolls and Barbies to play with as a child... I never played with them. I took their clothes off and put them on my stuffed animals- and despised the Barbies because their clothes didn't fit on anything else! I loved my stuffies, my My Little Ponies, my legos and my art supplies.

I am 8 and 10 years older than my two younger brothers. In my teens, I basically raised them when I got home from school while my parents were working. I kind of already did the "mom" thing and I really don't care to do it again. People say "Oh, but it's different when they're your own!" But... erm... No. No they really arn't. They all cry and potty and scream and hit and have to be taught and trained and stuff. Having squirted them out myself really doesn't change that.

I am proudly still a virgin, and have even identified as asexual (just not interested in sex at all) for most of my 20s, although I'm starting to shift away from that now after a couple of relationships and a lot of trust.

In my 20s, when I considered, maybe if I find the right guy, I'll have kids... I knew I wanted to be done child bearing by the time I was 30. The chances of birth defects such as Down's Syndrome are MUCH higher now, and I don't want to risk afflicting a person with disorders and defects. It's not fair to them. Well... 30 came and went and I didn't even have a boyfriend. And honestly, it didn't bother me.

I'll stick with my pets and probably spoil any neices and nephews I may end up with. (one brother is getting married this summer and although they are currently saying "NO KIDS!", they also said "NO MARRIAGE!" for a few years and now look where they are.)

None for me, thank you. And as I'm 30, I think by this point I'm not going to "change my mind" like some condescending people like to say. I'll keep my breeding to pet sites and the Sims, which require less attention and I can always turn off if they annoy me.

Reasons:
- Children annoy me. I can manage to think they're cute, in small doses, but only in small doses.
- Pregnancy disgusts me. The thought of actually giving birth would just plain freak me out.
- I would not want to spend 20 years of my life taking care of another person. I can't even take care of myself.
- I'd make a terrible mother. I'd wind up having a child suffocate or something horrible like that because I forgot about them. I wouldn't want to inflict that on any poor kid.
- My boyfriend vehemently does not want children either.

Almost the same reasons as you.

* I dont like children THAT much; and even if someone like children it dosent mean they will be great parents/or want to have them
* I have big plans; I dont want to be chained and have someone holding me back from my future careere
* There is already too many humans in this world. No need to bring new ones...
*I will sterilise me when I turn 25; so I am sure that I make the right choice.
*I am kind of... anti-social person.I dont like humans - not ALL of them.There is people I respekt and talk with them, a "clan" as I call that.Like a wolf
* I have temper...when I get pissed off,it is better to RUN.
* Not interested in marrige... I dont belive in it either.
* Im not in a relationship. If I found someone I truly love (with is a almost impossible trough right now...) then I will make it clear where I am standing and that my opinions dont change. I never wanted to have kids (yep...decided when I was very young) and will never want have some either.




I heard that "wonderful" words "you will change your mind when you are older". Im just asking; WHY are everyone beliving this words?(okay almost everyone..). because I am a woman? The funny thing I heard that words... from my teacher... x.x" Stereotypes...

Of course my parents and grandmother will expect me to be married and have kids.And some day I will tell them that I will not have some kids. Of course they will not belive me (they are kind of...old-thinking.... if you know what I mean.)

If I need someone to care for then I will get a dog or a cat..or a horse if I can afford one
The animals dont expect us to be perfect-so far we treat them with gentle hand,give them food,wather and love they take care of us. The animals understand me better than humans too; they see me for who I am not for someone I SHOULD be. That is all I need to be happy

I am forever childfree, I never liked the idea of have some thing inside of me for nine months, then popping out from 'that area.' I would also never be able to stand it and I would probably scar the kid for life.
-I really hate kids. Even being in middle school, I still hate them. If they're so immature right now, I can only imagine how immature they'll be in 10-15 years?
-I love pets. Having a kid would probably ruin it. I would have to worry about little Timmy accidentally getting into the python's cage...>.>
-Infants are weird. Never liked them, never will.
-I wouldn't be able to afford them emotionally, physically, or financially. I am a more anti-social person, I'd rather have the house to myself then a guy who I have to sleep with *shudder* and a whining kid. School too. My parents are constantly worried about my grades and how I'm doing.
-My life. I am a really solo person, I'd rather have my own house with a few pet snakes, a cat, and a cockatoo. With the kids, you'd have to worry about one of the animals biting them, and the animal's health bills are enough already.(It cost my mom $470 to get our cockatoo's health checked, wings trimmed and claws trimmed.)
-And like a few other people have said, there's already enough people in this world. No need to bring in another life leech into it.
Edit: Forgot to put this. If I EVER wanted a child, I'd adopt one.

I never want kids. My mom started this foster care stuff and with the way the kids are acting when they come in, not to mention the fact I get attached and then they're shipped off back to their parents is very hard and emotionally scarring on me. They infuriate me, children do. I have a very, very short temper and I tend to lash out violently if I get pissed off enough (though I refrain from lashing out at my parents, that's more trouble than it's worth). Another reason, mainly, is that everything that has come into my life, like a pet my mom has gotten me or the foster kids, has been ripped away from me in some manner. My dog Jack, who was the most precious thing in the world to me, had to be given a new home because my mom forced me to simply because he 'didn't do very well with other dogs' when in all honesty he had been doing just fine. My cat, my mom forced me to put outside in the cold two foot high snow and she ran away never to be seen until now (she's gotten so big! ) but my mom won't let me take her in again. Same case as earlier stated with the foster kids. Not to mention, I believe that, really, raising a kid is more trouble than it's worth.

So in accordance with the emotional pain my mother has put me through with pets and foster kids, I'm just scared that if I do have a kid it's gonna die on me or it's going to get taken away from me. I don't want that to happen, because I know what it's like to lose somehting you love, something you love terrbly. I know that if you're loving somehtig you should let it go, but honestly, I'd be to selfish to do that.

Everytime I remind my mother that I am not going to have kids, she says "Oh you'll change your mind one day. I want a grandbaby or two. 8D" Uh, no. I'm not giving in and giving you a grandbaby just because I'm your only kid and your only way of getting a grandbaby. Thankfully, once my dad remarried I wasn't the only way of my dad being a grandfather, but unfortunately they have to do some convincing of my sister as well as me. Mom, that's why you're doing this foster to adopt shit, you want another kid, and after you had me you pulled a stupid move and freaked and got your tubes tied! Not my fault, and I'm not gonna give you what you want if it makes me unhappy. And a kid would make me terribly unhappy. I may only be fifteen, but this is a coice I am dead set on. I'm not changing my mind.

So yes, this is why I shall remain childless.

I'm child-free, mostly because I'm 15. And frankly, I don't want kids. I happen to see all the negatives on them, like:
-Money loss of 18 years
-I lose 18 years of life in which I could be doing other things.
-They cry.
-They're stubborn.
-Pregnancy sounds horrid.

I don't even want to adopt. I know it sounds cruel, but I dislike younger kids immensely, because they don't know how to voice their needs. I'd end up strangling a poor kid who couldn't spit out what they want fast enough. (I'm very impatient.)

Also, I've been bugged by the "You'll change your mind later." (I've also gotten that phrase when it comes to marriage- I don't want to get married. I enjoy my status of I've-never-been-on-a-single-date-in-my-life. Also, I'm worried that a husband or boyfriend would want a child.)