Bear's Poetry (Constructive criticism wanted!)

Share any written short stories, novels, or poetry

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Recurvirostra
Member of Artificer's Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 31
Joined: October 11th, 2020, 3:16:29 pm
Gender: Female
Location: A fishboat on Lake Lakira.

Bear's Poetry (Constructive criticism wanted!)

Post by Recurvirostra »

Hey y'all! I think it's super sweet how the Magistream community has so many talented writers in it. I myself am super novice at writing poems – I'd write them from time to time for school, but nothing that really satisfied me. So I wanted to share something I wrote with y'all and see what people think. <3

(Feel free to be honest if you think something's cliché, but ofc no bashing/hate speech please.)

CIRCE
Spoiler
It makes her happy
when hearing my name on her tongue
gives me nausea.

I ate her plastic
pretending it was fish
Now I'm trapped on her island
because I'm too sick.

It makes her happy
that I'm ashamed of being a seagull
when I'm actually a whale.

Around me, the ocean laps my feet
I'm afraid of drowning, when really I'm beached
It drives me crazy. Then she blames me
and calls me weak.

It makes her angry
when I sing to other creatures
who make me feel complete.

At night, she whispers lies to me
so rancid they charm the kelp flies
who cling like every guilty word
I let her tell me.

It makes her angry
that I am rotting silently
not on my behalf, but because of the stink.

In this hollow
of bleached bones
her presence echoes. This gnawing love,
her pity, her resounding
derision towards me.

I have learned to stop listening.
Image
Dakota <3
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