The Moonshift Lounge: Muses of a Mind Long Lost - Critiques?

Share any written short stories, novels, or poetry

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Inkeyu
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Re: The Moonshift Lounge: Muses of a Mind Long Lost - Critiq

Post by Inkeyu »

WHY DOES NOBODY FOLLOW DIRECTIONS?!
WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE STRAGIHT UP IGNORING WHAT I SAY?!
STOP F*CKING CLICKING MY KEEP!
I'M TRYING TO KEEP MY HATCHLINGS AS HATCHLINGS!
STOP CLICKING THINGS THAT ARE NOT IN MY SIGNATURE!
STOP GOING TO MY KEEP AND CLICKING WHATEVER TF YOU WANT WITHOUT ANY REGARD TO WHAT I WANT!
STOP BEING IDIOTS! STOP BEING A*****ES! SERIOUSLY! IT'S NOT THAT F**KING HARD! JUST DON'T F**KING DO IT! IT'S THAT SIMPLE! JUST DON'T!
SO NOW, BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A S**T WHAT I WANT FOR MY OWN F**KING CREATURES, I HAVE TO SPEND REAL MONEY TO GET ENOUGH GOLD TO BE ABLE TO PAY TO LOCK MY F**KING TABS SO PEOPLE WILL STOP DISREGARDING MY WARNINGS, SUGGESTIONS, REQUESTS AND STOP MAKING MY HATCHLINGS THAT I WANT TO STAY HATCHLINGS WITHOUT FREEZING THEM, GROW!
SERIOUSLY! IT IS NOT THAT F**KING HARD! JUST F**KING STOP! JUST DON'T F**KING DO IT!
Looking to Gender Swap an Emperor phoenix. (Trading a female for a male, 1st gen)
~ ImageImage ~
ImageImageImageImageImage ~ ~ Dragon Cave
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[url=https://magistream.com/creature/14392070][img]https://magistream.com/img/14392070.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399786][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399786.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399870][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399870.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399871][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399871.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14400114][img]https://magistream.com/img/14400114.gif[/img][/url]
Dragon cave:

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None right now . . .
Flametail Hellunds
Need reading material?
Lots of creatures for sale!
Thank you so much Trissan, for helping me be able to get a protection spell![/center]
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Inkeyu
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Re: The Moonshift Lounge: Muses of a Mind Long Lost - Critiq

Post by Inkeyu »

To those whom have been reading my stories here, which would you most like to see as a comic?
I'll be starting to make a couple soon, and I'm looking for some feedback.
I am also looking for a colorist, if anyone is interested. It will likely be free to start with, but when I'm able to start making money on the comic(s) in question, I would be more than happy to share a percentage of what I make.
What do you say?
Looking to Gender Swap an Emperor phoenix. (Trading a female for a male, 1st gen)
~ ImageImage ~
ImageImageImageImageImage ~ ~ Dragon Cave
For ninjas:
Spoiler
Magistream:

Code: Select all

[url=https://magistream.com/creature/14392070][img]https://magistream.com/img/14392070.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399786][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399786.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399870][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399870.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399871][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399871.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14400114][img]https://magistream.com/img/14400114.gif[/img][/url]
Dragon cave:

Code: Select all

None right now . . .
Flametail Hellunds
Need reading material?
Lots of creatures for sale!
Thank you so much Trissan, for helping me be able to get a protection spell![/center]
User avatar
Inkeyu
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Posts: 709
Joined: August 26th, 2009, 4:04:16 pm
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Pastry Problems

Post by Inkeyu »

Opening her eyes slowly, heavy with sleep, she blinked groggily a few times before siting bolt upright and looking around. She was in her room, the midday sun peering through the black and red curtains that she had decorated her room with, giving the whole room a pinkish hew. "A dream." She spoke only to herself, her voice hoarse from sleep. "It was just a...dream?" She gently rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around her room. It was exactly as she had left it the night before, but something bothered her. Yes, it was her room, but how had she gotten back home? The last thing she remembered was going to the little tea shop. Was the shop even real? Or was it a very vivid part of her dream? She couldn't be sure. Swinging her legs out of bed, she hung them over the side but didn't stand up just yet, trying to wrap her head around everything. The silence of her room seemed deafening and so she shook her head to clear the last of the weariness she felt. Just as her feet touched the floor to stand up, there was a knock at her front door. Dressed in her pajamas, she made her way to the door of her flat and peered out the peephole.

"Miss? Messy miss? Are you alright?" On the other side of the door, the catfish floated there in water that reached more than halfway up her door. With a start, she opened her eyes wide, waking up with a start. "Miss? She's awake! You are awake!" The catfish leaped out of the water happily, as she sat up and looked around. So it wasn't a dream!...? It wasn't a dream?! She became aware that they were still moving through the water, and felt something soft and wet under her. She looked behind and below her and she seemed to be sitting on the back of something large and spotted. "A narwhal?!"

"Yes! A friend to travelers hereabouts!" The catfish replied to her surprised exclaimed question. "She saved you from drowning and agreed to help us get you to shore!" She stroked the creatures' back with appreciation as the catfish continued. "Safe and sound, safe and sound." It sang happily. They continued on this way for what seemed like many hours more before she heard the narwhal make a sound, which the catfish translated for her. "Islands HO! Islands HO!" It leapt again happily.

She turned around on her mount and looked ahead of where they were traveling. Sure enough, there was a string of islands ahead of them, still and peaceful seeming. She felt an overwhelming relief at the sight, and smiled in spite of herself. "Messy miss is happy to see the land?" The catfish chimed in, pulling her out of her sleepy stupor. "Oh yes." She said with a sigh. The tension she didn't know she had been holding in her shoulders released. As they drew closer to the island, they were joined by extremely large sea turtles, dolphins too small to be normal dolphins, and a number of other sea creatures. The symphony of sounds that surrounded the trio was joyful and welcoming and she giggled with glee.

The narwhal slowed and eventually stopped a short way from the shore, and made another noise, also translated by the catfish. "This is your stop! Time to get off, time to get off. Pleasant landfaring messy miss!" She pet the back of the narwhal again and looked between the two of them. "Thank you for your help. I hope you have safe travels." She said, sliding off the narwhal's back and into the water. It was too deep for her feet to reach the bottom yet, so she swam the rest of the way to the beach. Stepping out onto the sand, she turned around and waved to the sea creatures, and they all made sounds of happy farewell before dispersing.

Tired still from her long journey, she sank to her knees at the edge of the water onto the warm, golden sand. She was safe, and even with the sun hanging low her clothes dried quickly in the heat. She sat there for a while longer before realizing how thirsty she was. Feeling the dryness of her lips and tongue, she licked her lips, unable to wet them. With a tired sigh, she stood up and turned around to face the tropical forest that lay behind her, and began walking towards the treeline.

TO BE CONTINUED...
Looking to Gender Swap an Emperor phoenix. (Trading a female for a male, 1st gen)
~ ImageImage ~
ImageImageImageImageImage ~ ~ Dragon Cave
For ninjas:
Spoiler
Magistream:

Code: Select all

[url=https://magistream.com/creature/14392070][img]https://magistream.com/img/14392070.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399786][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399786.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399870][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399870.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14399871][img]https://magistream.com/img/14399871.gif[/img][/url][url=https://magistream.com/creature/14400114][img]https://magistream.com/img/14400114.gif[/img][/url]
Dragon cave:

Code: Select all

None right now . . .
Flametail Hellunds
Need reading material?
Lots of creatures for sale!
Thank you so much Trissan, for helping me be able to get a protection spell![/center]
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