Imps of the Perverse
Posted: August 3rd, 2014, 8:24:27 am
(...where detection, deduction, and badinage pursue the REAL origins of the Rose Imps)
Em swatted crossly at the Farirs buzzing her wispy grey locks as she picked Imps off her roses.
"I thought these bloody things were supposed to be a HELP in the garden - all summer long, all they seem to do is hang around the roses and defend these infernal little pests...these OTHER infernal little pests."
I stretched lazily, sipped at my cool drink, and relit my pipe.
"Why do the Rose Imps bother you so much? Far as I can tell, they don't harm the plants..."
"They're a nuisance! They get in the way when I try to prune, and just forget trying to cut any flowers when they're around - the Farirs, too, for that matter. Why are they so obsessed with roses? I've never noticed them paying this much attention to anything else growing here."
"Hm. Remember that song that was making the rounds a summer or two ago, just before the Imps appeared?"
"Badger's ditty? More or less - it's been a while. Something about Farirs and roses, I recall that much - some kind of overblown romantic allegory."
"I'm wondering now how allegorical it really was - '...despite their herbal natures - and I will warrant this - between the Rose and Farir each blossom passed a kiss' - what if MORE than a kiss got passed?"
"Augh! Leave the singing to TwoTrees, YOU are no bard. Do you really think they could have hybridized somehow?"
"I'm no botanist...but around here anything is possible. We've had quite a bit of cross-species breeding going on lately, no reason it couldn't have happened spontaneously. Wonder if Belmos knows something about this?"
"If he does, he's not telling - man plays his information like he does his poker hand."
"You can bet on that..." (and dodged a flung trowel) "...still, it's an interesting puzzle. I wonder if there COULD be something strange going on here."
My curiosity piqued, I began to observe the Imps - and the Farirs - more closely. Sure enough, the Farirs did indeed appear to nurture and cosset the juvenile Imps, and displayed an unnaturally intense interest in the fully opened rose blooms, often disappearing into them completely for minutes at a time, during which the blossoms jiggled in a violent and fascinating manner. A wide grin spread across my face.
"Why, you sly little devils! Been getting busy with folks' roses, have you?"
"What are you on about now, Ironstaff?"
"Just watch them for a minute, Em, instead of chasing them..."
Auntie Em sat back on her bony heels and scowled at the roses. Suddenly her jaw dropped and she fell over backwards...an image I will not soon forget - much as I might wish to.
"Well I'll be - you filthy little beasts!"
"Oh, for pity's sake, Em, since when are you such a prude? They're just having a bit of summer fun...and we got a new species out of it to boot. They do provide a lot of useful help around the garden, I'd say they've earned a little - er, extracurricular activity."
Raising my glass, I toasted the industrious creatures.
"After all - quid pro quo...what could be 'farir' than that?"
(519 words - 532 with subtitle)
Em swatted crossly at the Farirs buzzing her wispy grey locks as she picked Imps off her roses.
"I thought these bloody things were supposed to be a HELP in the garden - all summer long, all they seem to do is hang around the roses and defend these infernal little pests...these OTHER infernal little pests."
I stretched lazily, sipped at my cool drink, and relit my pipe.
"Why do the Rose Imps bother you so much? Far as I can tell, they don't harm the plants..."
"They're a nuisance! They get in the way when I try to prune, and just forget trying to cut any flowers when they're around - the Farirs, too, for that matter. Why are they so obsessed with roses? I've never noticed them paying this much attention to anything else growing here."
"Hm. Remember that song that was making the rounds a summer or two ago, just before the Imps appeared?"
"Badger's ditty? More or less - it's been a while. Something about Farirs and roses, I recall that much - some kind of overblown romantic allegory."
"I'm wondering now how allegorical it really was - '...despite their herbal natures - and I will warrant this - between the Rose and Farir each blossom passed a kiss' - what if MORE than a kiss got passed?"
"Augh! Leave the singing to TwoTrees, YOU are no bard. Do you really think they could have hybridized somehow?"
"I'm no botanist...but around here anything is possible. We've had quite a bit of cross-species breeding going on lately, no reason it couldn't have happened spontaneously. Wonder if Belmos knows something about this?"
"If he does, he's not telling - man plays his information like he does his poker hand."
"You can bet on that..." (and dodged a flung trowel) "...still, it's an interesting puzzle. I wonder if there COULD be something strange going on here."
My curiosity piqued, I began to observe the Imps - and the Farirs - more closely. Sure enough, the Farirs did indeed appear to nurture and cosset the juvenile Imps, and displayed an unnaturally intense interest in the fully opened rose blooms, often disappearing into them completely for minutes at a time, during which the blossoms jiggled in a violent and fascinating manner. A wide grin spread across my face.
"Why, you sly little devils! Been getting busy with folks' roses, have you?"
"What are you on about now, Ironstaff?"
"Just watch them for a minute, Em, instead of chasing them..."
Auntie Em sat back on her bony heels and scowled at the roses. Suddenly her jaw dropped and she fell over backwards...an image I will not soon forget - much as I might wish to.
"Well I'll be - you filthy little beasts!"
"Oh, for pity's sake, Em, since when are you such a prude? They're just having a bit of summer fun...and we got a new species out of it to boot. They do provide a lot of useful help around the garden, I'd say they've earned a little - er, extracurricular activity."
Raising my glass, I toasted the industrious creatures.
"After all - quid pro quo...what could be 'farir' than that?"
(519 words - 532 with subtitle)