Black's Keep

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Blackwidow
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Black's Keep

Post by Blackwidow »

Prolouge
Talon prowled around her territory in the keep. With new hatchlings about, she had to be weery. She was about to turn the corner, Adina came bounding around and skidded to a stop. "Hello Talon!" She exclaimed. "Hello Adina, what are you running from?" She replied. Suddenly Carmella came barreling around the corner and crashed into Talon, making her stumble backwards. "Hi, Talon." She said looking up. "What are you clowns doing?" Talon exclaimed helping Carmella up. "We were playing tag," Adina explained. "I was running from Carmella because she was it." "I see." Talon said looking down upon them. "Well, carry on. And stay out of harms way." Talon padded forward and around the corner. "Yes, Talon." Adina and Carmella both called and carried on with tag. Talon stepped into Blackwidow's cottage, and spotted her chatting with Leona, a Pinto Pegasus mare. Leona nodded and stepped out, her hooves clanging the floor. "Hello, Talon." Blackwidow greeted. "Hello." Talon said leaping up on the couch. "Any news from the nursery?" Blackwidow said sitting in her large red leather chair. Talon nodded. "I heard that the Dark Zalon egg is coming along. Tis almost hatched." "Thats great." Blackwidow responded with a sigh. "What is it?" Talon urged. "I am still disturbed about who should watch over the nursey. I was thinking Ashfire, but she is too hyper. I need something or someone who is soft and gentle. I have to go take a look I guess." Blackwidow explained.
Spoiler
This is basicly going to be about what it is like every day in my keep. And yes, I can talk to my creatures.
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freakazoid
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Re: Black's Keep

Post by freakazoid »

Looks good! <3
The only thing I might suggest is that you put maybe a new paragraph with each quotation marks?
If that makes sense. :sweat:
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Blackwidow
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Re: Black's Keep

Post by Blackwidow »

Alrighty. Thank you! <3
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Re: Black's Keep

Post by Blackwidow »

Chapter 1
Talon paced in a line. Her claws scraping the hardwood floor in Blackwidow's cottage. Smooth Criminal, Blackwidow's lineage panther, came padding up the hallway. Talon stopped and pricked her ears, hearing his massice paws. She sat down, and greeted him with a nod. "Smooth Criminal. Is there somthing you need?" She asked.
Smooth Criminal nodded, "Yes, where is Blackwidow? I requested to speak with her about the nursey queen."
"Well, she desired that I would be the one to decide. Why? Do you have an idea of whom to choose?" Talon urged.
"Yes," Smooth Criminal said sitting and curling his tail around his paws. "I have thought it over, and have been to every section of Blackwidow's keep. And I have come to suggest, Whisper and Annabelle. The female white winged cats. They are gentle and sweet natured. I know, it is not my desicon to make, but I believe they would be perfect for the job." He finished. Of course! Why didn't I think of them before? Talon thought to herself. "Why, those are excellent desicons, Smooth Criminal. Will you please fetch them or me?" Talon asked, even though it was pretty much a order. Smooth Criminal nodded, and stood, turning and padding back through the hallway. Talon was very please with Smooth Criminal. And content with herself about finding the nursery queens. She had to tell Blackwidow. But first, she had to find her.
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Re: Black's Keep

Post by freakazoid »

Smooth Criminal. Nice. xD

Love it! Can't wait for more. <3
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Re: Black's Keep

Post by Blackwidow »

(Lol yeah Smooth Criminal is my MJ lineage progenitor. ^_^ And thanks on the story!! I will get crackin on the second chapter right away!)
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Re: Black's Keep

Post by Blackwidow »

Chapter 2
Whisper lay with the unhatched eggs, the Dark Zalon making her uneasy. Suddenly it started to crack, and Whisper widened her eyes. It shattered, and a male Dak Zalon appeared. Whisper stared at it. "Anna!" She called. Annabelle hoped down from the window, and padded over to Whisper. "Get Blackwidow." She ordered and Annabelle spread her wings and took off. Ten minutes later, Blackwidow walked into the nursery with Anna curled up in her arms and purring. She hoped down as Blackwidow nelt to the Zalon who cowered. She shook her head. "Tis alright. I won't hurt you, Beelzebub." She named him. Beelzebub stumbled into her hands as she lifted him up. She stroked his "fur" and ran her hands over his bat-like wings. She set him down and directed the Winged Cats to watch him carefully. He needed alot of attention if he was not be released. Blackwidow had duties of her own to deal with, so she stood and left.

Talon pawed her way to the nursery with Carmella behind her. "But I don't waaannna," Carmella complained. You could hear them all the way down the hallway.
"You have to." Talon responded the calmest she could. Talon rounded the corner and into the nursery. "Ah! The Zalon hatched!" She stated. Carmella came sulking around the corner and froze in her tracks. She curled her lips in a snarl and backed away, only her head appearing behind the wall. "What are we calling him?" Talon asked.
"Beelzebub." Whisper replied. Talon nodded, "Boy, are we gonna have fun with him." She said sarcasticly. Whisper and Anna both laughed. Carmella turned and bolted down the hallway, to get away from the Dark Zalon. Talon turned and watched, but turned back when she had vanished.
"So, Talon," Whisper started, "when are you going to have a pup?" Talon froze.
"Rasor Blade hasn't run it by me. And Blackwidow hasn't spoke to me about it."
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