It def piques my interest. It leaves me wanting to know a little more about the setting/world but I'd still grab it for a read as-is.Raneth wrote:I need help, guys. I'm trying to design a blurb for my book. Would you read this?Spoiler
The old empire has fallen, and humanity is losing the war against powerful vampires. Kaiden, once the pathetic town drunk, is now a thrall, a mindless servant driven only by bloodlust and his master’s orders.
But when his master orders Kaiden to kill a vampire hunter, Kaiden disobeys.
Hunter Johann has spent years studying old lore and killing thralls, but he’s never seen one like Kaiden, intelligent and capable of free will. If he can convince Kaiden to help him, he might reclaim something thought lost forever: a chance for humankind. But he doesn’t know if Kaiden can be trusted, much less become a tool to kill the vampire who created him.
Kaiden doesn’t know who he is or what he truly wants beyond blood. Most of his memories are shadows, and nothing will bring back the life he lost.
Not a vampire, not a mindless thrall, capable of using the old magics, Kaiden is something completely different.
And being different means being alone.
How Was Your Day Thread V5
- DarrkestDrow
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
- PKGriffin
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
I'm curious. I love a good unlikely friends story, and anything fantastical thrown in just sweetens the deal.Raneth wrote:I need help, guys. I'm trying to design a blurb for my book. Would you read this?Spoiler
The old empire has fallen, and humanity is losing the war against powerful vampires. Kaiden, once the pathetic town drunk, is now a thrall, a mindless servant driven only by bloodlust and his master’s orders.
But when his master orders Kaiden to kill a vampire hunter, Kaiden disobeys.
Hunter Johann has spent years studying old lore and killing thralls, but he’s never seen one like Kaiden, intelligent and capable of free will. If he can convince Kaiden to help him, he might reclaim something thought lost forever: a chance for humankind. But he doesn’t know if Kaiden can be trusted, much less become a tool to kill the vampire who created him.
Kaiden doesn’t know who he is or what he truly wants beyond blood. Most of his memories are shadows, and nothing will bring back the life he lost.
Not a vampire, not a mindless thrall, capable of using the old magics, Kaiden is something completely different.
And being different means being alone.
Just a small crit -- "A chance for humankind" is a bit vague. Are they trying to save humanity, bring people back to life, or something else? Maybe switching the spots where you mention "a change for humankind" and "kill the vampire who created him" would give it a more natural flow. Assuming killing the vampire is what would save humanity.
Definitely sounds fun, though.
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
I don't know, I just came back from hiatus in December. It has been pretty active until quite recently.Alvin wrote:Is it usually this slow?Graveworm wrote:I know...the MD is sooooo slow right nowjmilana wrote:Nobody is buying Donis or anything else. I need more gold!
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
PKGriffin wrote:I'm curious. I love a good unlikely friends story, and anything fantastical thrown in just sweetens the deal.Raneth wrote:I need help, guys. I'm trying to design a blurb for my book. Would you read this?Spoiler
The old empire has fallen, and humanity is losing the war against powerful vampires. Kaiden, once the pathetic town drunk, is now a thrall, a mindless servant driven only by bloodlust and his master’s orders.
But when his master orders Kaiden to kill a vampire hunter, Kaiden disobeys.
Hunter Johann has spent years studying old lore and killing thralls, but he’s never seen one like Kaiden, intelligent and capable of free will. If he can convince Kaiden to help him, he might reclaim something thought lost forever: a chance for humankind. But he doesn’t know if Kaiden can be trusted, much less become a tool to kill the vampire who created him.
Kaiden doesn’t know who he is or what he truly wants beyond blood. Most of his memories are shadows, and nothing will bring back the life he lost.
Agreed! That’s the one spot that stuck out to me as well. Other than that, it is definitely something that peaks my interest
Not a vampire, not a mindless thrall, capable of using the old magics, Kaiden is something completely different.
And being different means being alone.
Just a small crit -- "A chance for humankind" is a bit vague. Are they trying to save humanity, bring people back to life, or something else? Maybe switching the spots where you mention "a change for humankind" and "kill the vampire who created him" would give it a more natural flow. Assuming killing the vampire is what would save humanity.
Definitely sounds fun, though.
25/25 gifts, thank you a bunch everyone!
Crystal Café ~ Free Raffles
- DarrkestDrow
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
I think Shai single-handedly killed the market with this comment...jmilana wrote:Nobody is buying Donis or anything else. I need more gold!
ShaiNeko wrote:Um, as I'm more than slightly alarmed:
This is a quiet reminder that these creatures are permanent and that a certain very special event will be held next month and you will really, really, really regret it if you blow all your funds now...
Hint hint.
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
Except no one listens to me, but they will regret it.DarrkestDrow wrote:I think Shai single-handedly killed the market with this comment...jmilana wrote:Nobody is buying Donis or anything else. I need more gold!
ShaiNeko wrote:Um, as I'm more than slightly alarmed:
This is a quiet reminder that these creatures are permanent and that a certain very special event will be held next month and you will really, really, really regret it if you blow all your funds now...
Hint hint.
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Re: How Was Your Day Thread V5
Yo, where have you been? So happy to see youertdf wrote: