Bloo's Short Stories~Shall I go on? *Need feedback+ideas c:

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Bloopalooza
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Bloo's Short Stories~Shall I go on? *Need feedback+ideas c:

Post by Bloopalooza »

Heyyy people! So! I've been writing short stories for quite a long time now and I've decided that I want to go on with some of them, I'd just love some feedback on the few I post here, you know like, which ones should I continue into complete stories. I'd also love looove ideas for plot twists and add-ins. Thanks and I hope you're intrigued and interested ^-^

Story 1 - Titleless

Spoiler
The thundering of barefeet and heavy hooves pounded on the hollow sounding, pine needle covered ground. The forest of Alarak, a dark dense forest littered with various species of pine and fern that spanned thousands of acres over vast mountains to the edge of a wide lake. A thick layer of mist blankets the ground and hovers in the canopy, the canopy with which no light passes through.
The rumbling of the on-coming crowd reverberated off the trees causing the forest to echo with the jangling of metal on armor and boots and horseshoes clanging on stones. Not a creature saw the gathering of strange creatures and men in a small clearing, the absence of trees allowing sunlight to dimly filter through the mist casting itself upon the plants deprived of it's rays. Murmers passed through the masses all with questioning tones, none seeming to know why the meeting was called but moving forward out of instinct and obedience to their superiors who stood in a small group off to the side already aware of the topic at hand. The whispers and rustling of restless warriors quickly died to silence, though distantly several creatures called out and branches snapped, the natural sounds of nature no matter how eery the place. A tall brooding man stood tall from the jagged stump he'd recently perched on and crossed the clearing to climb a small hill of boulders and tower over the horde. His pitch beard blew in one direction as a gentle breeze crept in from the depths of the trees, he donned a viking like outfit made of thick brown cloth, shin high booots coated in gray pleated fur, and bore a tarnished chestplate portraying the head of an unfamiliar beast. Under his arm was an iron welded hemlet which a deer antler portruding from either side.
The man crossed his muscular arms over his chest, cleared his throat with a low rumble and began to address his watchers with a deep, booming voice, "The Gakkl Clan has moved to the south end of Alarak!" He scanned the creatures below him as each turned to their partner with widened eyes and concerned looks passing the news though everyone heard it. The chief figure held his hand up which instantly ceased the talk and continued, "This can only mean several things! One being that nobody residing in this forest is safe! The Gakkl Clan are ruthless and will kill anyone they find to be trespassing on what they call "their territory"." Nervous looks swept through the beings like a plague though the man advanced in his statement throwing glares of involvement with piercing blue eyes. "I, Marciff, believe I speak for everyone here when I say we must stop them at all costs!! For the sake of all inhabitents of Alarak and inhabitants by Lake Sallow, we must fi-". An arrow, faster than any onlooker could see, sailed from the darkness and struck a warrior, a centaur, in the back of the neck downing him immediately leaving his blood to pool and seep into the damp forest dirt. A loud cry shattered the silence of awe as dozens of armed men and women burst from the edge of the clearing sending the gathering into an uproar of shouts and shrieks both warrior cries and wails of pain.


Story 2 coming tomorrow! ^-^
Last edited by Bloopalooza on February 19th, 2014, 10:29:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Bloopalooza
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Re: Bloo's Short Stories~Shall I go on?

Post by Bloopalooza »

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Bloopalooza
MagiStream Donor
Member of The Herbalist's Guild Member of Artificer's Association Member of Preservationists Association
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Posts: 209
Joined: August 30th, 2013, 12:35:22 pm
Gender: Female
Location: NY, USA
Contact:

Re: Bloo's Short Stories~Shall I go on?

Post by Bloopalooza »

Reserve
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♥Please click my eggs♥
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