The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 2 posted!)

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The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 2 posted!)

Post by InsanityWolf »

Aw snap,reboot of my first story here on MS.

So things will be a bit different then the old one, hopefully things will be better.

Criticism is welcome!

(BTW: A Spirit Walf is an animal with the tail and paws of a cat, the body, head, and legs of a wolf, and bird like wings, Demon Walves have bat like wings instead of bird like wings.)

Prolog: The Wolf Pups of Econa and Talimoa.
Spoiler
It was a very long time ago when this happened ago, probably at least 1,000 years or more, everything was different then it is now. Spirit Walves used to live in caves, Demon Walves too, both had very different opinions about leadership and other things, both sides hated each other too.

Battles broke out way more often than needed and sickness and dieses spread so easily and claimed many lives. Demon Walves and Spirit Walves eventually separated into different caves but the battles continued as both sides wanted all the land. But that all changed when they were born, one saved the walves; the other created chaos and attempted to destroy the walves. They were the chosen ones of Econa and Talimoa.
First, she was born, a beautiful Spirit Walf pup with fur that was pure white, her large feathery wings held some sort of power, and her eyes an icy blue. She is believed to come from Econa, a beautiful cloud city in the sky where all the good Walves go when they die. She went by the name Galaxy and when she got old enough to master her magic skills, she saved many lives. Galaxy was the daughter of a very poor family, she didn’t to know them very long before they disappeared, not many remember them either.

Then, he was born, a dangerous Demon Walf pup with fur so dark many thought it was made of darkness, his small bat like wings held no power, but it didn’t matter as he himself held power inside of him, and his eyes were a deep dark red. He is believed to come from Talimoa, a terrifying dark forest deep underground where all the evil Walves go when they die. He goes by the name Zyphire and when he got old enough to master his skills, he destroyed many lives and raised an army of demon and spirit wolves to overthrow the leaders and to let him become leader of both sides and kill all who question him. Zyphire was born into an extremely rich family, a female dark blue Demon Walf named Elisa and a male dark brown male Demon Walf named Ciler. He killed them both when he learned to fend for himself and took all their riches into his possession, many remember this awful murder, but none dared to speak of it out of fear.

Galaxy and Zyphire were instant rivals when they first met, and when Zyphire started the Great War, Galaxy was determined to kill him.

Not many from the war are alive to talk about it, but those who are alive rather not talk too much about it.
But from what has been gathered, Galaxy defeated Zyphire’s army, but she was killed by Zyphire in battle…But a mysterious Wolf clawed Zyphire’s left eye out and nearly killed him but forced him out of the lands and far away instead of finishing the job, no one remembers this Wolf so the legend was altered…
But years after the Great War, everything changed, villages were built, Demon Walves and Spirit Walves lived in peace in these villages together, one spirit or demon walf and their mate were assigned to leaders of each village and medicine was created. All was well for quite a long time.

But everything is changing again; all the Demon Walves disappeared from the villages and went back into the caves where they had started out as vile creatures. They’re planning something; many think Zyphire is returning from the dark lands he was banished to, and all the spirit walves are hoping for a new chosen savoir to save them, but will this happen?

Something evil is stirring and another, stronger army is being raised...But by who?
The Spirit Walves can only hope The Three Masters of Darkness will send another Walf to save them.

One year later…


A male dark grey wolf with ocean blue eyes sits atop a hill and watches a village, the very first village of Spirit Walves. He had found the village he was looking for.
“By the claws of Amaros! I FOUND THE LEGENDARY TAMIERIEN VILLAGE!” He howled. “And to think the boys and girls back home thought this didn’t exist. HARHARHAR! Well I better go see if this is abandoned…”


Index:

Spoiler
Chapter 1: first page
Chapter 2: first page
Last edited by InsanityWolf on July 26th, 2012, 2:30:54 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (Prolog posted!)

Post by moondragon »

I love it, fwuffy <3 It captured my interest and I can't wait for the next chapter.
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (Prolog posted!)

Post by InsanityWolf »

Aw thank you Moon, Chapter 1 should be out soon.


Any criticism?
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (Prolog posted!)

Post by moondragon »

No, not really :3 I thought it was good. A few grammar mistakes maybe, but those are an easy fix.
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (Prolog posted!)

Post by InsanityWolf »

Chapter 1:
Spoiler
As soon as the Wolf entered the village he noticed a feather on the ground, it was dark blue. He looked closely at the feather, but didn’t notice anything strange about it so he continued walking around the village. Soon the Wolf noticed a large fountain; the statue was of Galaxy and still somehow running.

“Strange, isn’t this place abandoned?” He wondered to himself as he jumped up to the edge of the fountain.
He licked his lips and noticed how dry his tongue and lips were, then he realized how thirsty he was!

“It looks safe…couldn't hurt could it?” He wondered aloud before splashing his head into the water and lapping up tons of water. After slurping up as much water as he could handle the Wolf shook off all the excess water off his face and hopped off the fountain.

He was insanely surprised when he turned to be face to face with a grey Spirit Walf with dark grey wings and light brown eyes, she was glaring at him with seething rage.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?!” She hissed. “That fountain is important and we don’t need slobbering fools like you drinking out if it! Idiot!”

“S-s-s-spirit W-w-w-Walf?! W-what?!” The wolf questioned.

“Yes you idiot, I’m a Spirit Walf. Now speak, what’s your name and why are you here?!” The Female Spirit Walf growled again.

“I-i’m Turrent, I-i came here looking for the Tamarien Village. I-is this the village? I-i’m sorry for drinking out of the fountain.” He replied.

“Hm, well I guess it’s alright. Yes this is the Tamarien Village. I assume you came here looking for Walves from legends, correct? My name is Silver by the way.”

“Hello Silver, where is everyone?” Turrent dipped his head and questioned.

“Well the others smelt you and considered you a threat, but I highly doubt a stupid Wolf is any match for a village of Spirit Walves.” Silver replied with a wave of her wings.

“I’m not stupid.” Turrent hissed.

“Whatever. We do allow visitors though, so I suppose you could enjoy your stay Turrent…Goodbye.” Silver replied then flew off towards a large bronze building that had large pillars surrounding it and two golden spirit walf statues laying down next to the doors.

Turrent watched her for a moment then began wandering around the buildings; they all looked similar, all made of bricks and had large windows. The only way you could tell what was what were the large signs above the doors telling you. But he supposes it didn’t matter that much, as he wandered though he had the weirdest suspicion someone was following him.

So he turned around, defense mode at an all time low as he thought everyone here was friendly. Next thing Turrent knew a flash of orange fur smashed into him, knocking him flat on his back. He attempted to move his body and head, but his neck was held down by a large orange paw, claws out and threatening to slice his neck in half. He looked to what was holding the rest of him down, Turrent saw a large male orange Spirit Walf sitting on him, the Walf’s large red eyes narrowed into slits as he glared at Turrent. The Walf’s orange feathery wings twitched.

“Who are you? Why are you in our village? Are you a spy for the demon walves?!” His voice was a low hiss, causing Turrent to shake with fear.

“I-I came to l-look for S-spirit W-walves f-from the legends.” Turrent stuttered in fear.

The weight shifted off him and the paw removed it’s self from his neck.

“Alright wolf, get up you’re safe. My name is Fang, I’m the main guard here.” The orange male replied with a small twitch of his wings.

Turrent arose and shook the grains of sand off his coat and face Fang with a slight gulp.

“What’s your name? Does Silver know you’re here?” Fang questioned quickly, his eyes seemingly never blinking.

“Uh uh uh…I-I’m Turrent and y-yes S-silver k-knows I-I’m here” Turrent responded, his voice shakey and filled with fear, his entire body shaking.
Fang’s face was still cold as stone, he showed no sympathy for the terrified wolf, but he slowly nodded.

“Does Moonstar know you’re here?” Fang asked once again. “He’s the big boss, and if he gives the signal to me…”

Turrent watched as Fang made a slash motion at his neck, the action caused his to leap backwards and give a yelp, which caused Fang to laugh.

“T-that’s not f-funny, t-that’s t-terrifying…And no he doesn’t…” Turrent stuttered, not looking the large Walf in the eyes.

“It may not be funny to you, but it’s hilarious to me. Well I better fetch Moonstar for ya. If he gives the signal, I’ll do my best to make it as painless as possible.” Fang hissed, a toothy grin on his face as he slithered away towards the bronze building.

“I am going to die.” Turrent squeaked, nearly fainting.

Then he thought. ‘Fang sure was rude, and the look on his face. Why does he get so much joy from my fear?
He seems to want the signal from Moonstar, whatever the signal may be. He seems to want my blood all over the sandy path. I never knew how blood thirsty Spirit Walves could be.’

Turrent shook his thoughts away and sat down, waiting for Moonstar. His brain told him to run, but he had a feeling things would be worse for him if he did run. He could only hope Moonstar wasn’t as cold, bloodthirsty, and seemingly heartless as Fang.
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 1 posted!)

Post by pearlevil »

Oh cow Fwuffy, both the prolouge and the first chapter where amazing! You should really keep writing it! But I agree with Moon, there are a few spelling mistakes. I love the charecters, especialy Fang. C;
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 1 posted!)

Post by InsanityWolf »

pearlevil wrote:Oh cow Fwuffy, both the prolouge and the first chapter where amazing! You should really keep writing it! But I agree with Moon, there are a few spelling mistakes. I love the charecters, especialy Fang. C;
Thanks pearl, don't worry I'll get working on chapter 2 soon.

Hehe Fang seems to be popular.
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 1 posted!)

Post by InsanityWolf »

Chapter 2:
Spoiler
It felt like hours to Turrent as he sat around waiting for Moonstar, his stomach curled in a tight nervous ball. What if the signal was called?! He would die! But Turrent decided that he wouldn’t fear any longer, if this Moonstar fellow wanted him dead, he would already be dead.

A few more minutes went by and Turrent was starting to question if anyone was coming, he got up and begin to walk away when he heard a loud voice from behind him.

“Where are you going, outsider?” A large black male Spirit Walf with large black feathery wings, dark forest green eyes and a large silvery colored crescent moon on his forehead named Moonstar questioned.


Turrent turned to see Moonstar’s glowing eyes staring him down, Fang was off to the side, watching with a large bloodthirsty grin on his face . Turrent shuddered then gulped down his fear and answered Moonstar, a large lump forming in his throat.

“I-I’m here to learn about the legends surrounding this village…” Turrent stuttered for a second.

“A tourist? Well look here sir, we’re in the middle of war, we don’t have time for visitors, get out and go home. NOW.” Moonstar hissed, getting ruder by every word, his fur standing up.

Turrent gulped and started to back away to leave.

“Wait, I’m sorry for snapping. It’s just I’ve been all out stressed ever since some of my troops spotted
Zyphire a few days ago, he has returned... So wolf, what is your name and what pack to you belong to?” Moonstar questioned.

“M-my name is Turrent and I come from the Calitonyiantio pack…” Turrent responded.

“Wait, did you say the Calitonyiantio pack? I-I thought that pack was destroyed long ago…” Fang spoke up.

“No, it’s still up and running, though quite small.” Turrent corrected.

“I can’t believe this, we have a wolf from the Calitonyiantio pack, the pack that had the wolf who defeated Zyphire the first time. And we nearly killed him…” Moonstar seemed completely shocked by this.

“What? Didn’t the legend go: “Galaxy tore Zyphire’s heart out and stopped the war, then mysteriously disappeared?” I’m confused.” Turrent questioned.

Fang’s ears flattened at the name Galaxy, he shook his head and left Moonstar and Turrent alone, flying off towards a rock cave.

Moonstar shook his head at Turrent and sat down, eyeing the darkening sky. “Night is almost here…But that’s alright I guess. You see Turrent, Galaxy was killed in battle, a wolf from your pack defeated Zyphire, but let him go. No one knows the Wolf’s name, so the legend was altered when it was written.”

Turrent’s ear flattened in confusion. “That’s stupid to change a legend just because you don’t know the wolf’s name! That’s stupid that the wolf didn’t kill Zyphire! Why is that so stupid?!”

“Hush Turrent, life is life.” Moonstar scolded. “Now Turrent, you are very far away from your pack, correct?”
Turrent nodded. “It’s a two month trip on foot.”

Moonstar’s eyes widened. “That’s a very far way to travel.”
“Yep, hey may I stay a while?” Turrent questioned.

“Of course! Anyone from the Calitonyiantio is welcome here!” Moonstar replied. “I think you’ll find house 67 suitable.”

Turrent nodded as he was handed a key that was in a very interesting shape with a blue feather on the top that had 67 painted in red on it, he took it in his mouth and headed towards the house to sleep.
He eventually made it to a brick house that had 67 painted in blue on sign on the house, he used the key on the lock and stepped inside. It was nice, it had a wood flooring, and large wooden walls that were painted a sky blue. There were three archways, the left lead to a large kitchen that was western themed, the right lead to a large living room that was very colorful, and straight led upstairs which lead to a bathroom and a bedroom with a large queen sized navy blue bed with a large flatscreen TV.

Turrent yawned and stepped up the stairs that creaked everytime he moved, once he made it to the bedroom door he opened it and flopped on the bed and fell asleep with ease.
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 1 posted!)

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InsanityWolf wrote: Turrent’s ear flattened in confusion. “That’s stupid to change a legend just because you don’t know the wolf’s name! That’s stupid that the wolf didn’t kill Zyphire! Why is that so stupid?!”
This made me laugh. X3

InsanityWolf wrote: There were three archways, the left lead to a large kitchen that was western themed, the right lead to a large living room that was very colorful, and straight led upstairs which lead to a bathroom and a bedroom with a large queen sized navy blue bed with a large flatscreen TV.
This is a bit of a critique, but the TV and the bed and such I feel don't really go along with the feel of the story, for before this there was no mention of technology such as the TV before the fountain. But fountains are still pretty early technology I believe. Otherwise, your story is very nice, and I can't wait until the next chapter. And I think I'm going to make some fanart of Fang. X3
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Re: The Legend of the Spirit Walves! (chapter 1 posted!)

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pearlevil wrote:
InsanityWolf wrote: Turrent’s ear flattened in confusion. “That’s stupid to change a legend just because you don’t know the wolf’s name! That’s stupid that the wolf didn’t kill Zyphire! Why is that so stupid?!”
This made me laugh. X3

InsanityWolf wrote: There were three archways, the left lead to a large kitchen that was western themed, the right lead to a large living room that was very colorful, and straight led upstairs which lead to a bathroom and a bedroom with a large queen sized navy blue bed with a large flatscreen TV.
This is a bit of a critique, but the TV and the bed and such I feel don't really go along with the feel of the story, for before this there was no mention of technology such as the TV before the fountain. But fountains are still pretty early technology I believe. Otherwise, your story is very nice, and I can't wait until the next chapter. And I think I'm going to make some fanart of Fang. X3

Thank you for the critique. I agree now that I re-read this chapter, the TV,kitchen,bathroom, and bed don't seem to fit. I should've mentioned technology being in the story, but I didn't. Derp.

Aw I'm sure he'll like the fanart. c:
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