MagiStream

Prologue-~-


Apples and mint.Mint and apples.It filled the runt's nose.She was tasting the air.Blind eyes,rested on small paws.She breathed.In,then out.Was this how they did it?Voices...busy ones.Paws scurrying across the grassy grounds of the clearing.The runt sniffled.Something was wrong.Her air,what was happening?She whimpered.The shaking of sound in the runt's paws became weaker...the world became no more.

Thaurissam growled at the small medic wolf next to him.His mate-he couldn't figure out how she was feeling.The she-wolf sighed."Told you it wouldn't work out.Adopting a kitten is no small task."

The medic looked down,a somber look on his face."She's gone.Such a small being.It was the runt,you said?Probably was too weak to breathe."

Thaurissam growled again."Where did you say they go when they die?"

The medic looked confused."The Skie Islands.You know they are impossible to climb to."

Thaurissam looked down,his blood-orange eyes contracting.His eyes rested on a gray clump of fur on his chest.He flapped his charcoal-like wings."I don't know.What I know is that it wasn't her time."

The lanky,scrawny medic looked to his side.He interrupted."Maybe it was.Such a small thing..."
The skinny silver wolf began to mutter to himself.Thaurissam couldn't make out the words.

Thaurissam flapped his wings and flared his nose.His mate looked surprised."You couldn't,could you?...."

"I could....I would if I can...I will.I will try,at least." Thaurissam looked toward the exit of the clearing.He started walking towards what he knew to be the only way to reach the Skie Islands while being alive...or so he thought.

So far, I think it is good, and it certainly kept me reading for however short it was. I would definitely read more-- in fact, I'd anticipate it. :3 Keep it up.

Part 1-

Thaurissam was out in the forest.The Fate Grove, they called it.Mostly because there were bears here.He knew the safer way out of the Fate Grove was by air,but he didn't want to waste any energy.The scent of cattle crossed his nose,and before you know it,an elderly cow was crossing one of the strange ones' paths.How rude of them,to make a path here,he thought.The strange ones...they were calling themselves humans,used the word oh so appreciatively, and plowed our place.What was with that chunk of white hard stuff they came in anyway?The thought crossed his mind as his teeth met in the cattle's flesh.

He bit into his newfound meal.Otherworldly, he thought.Of course they were otherwordly.The strange ones brought them.He saw that by the time he was quite far from the center where that clearing was,he was getting fatigued and the sun was too.Better finish off fast, he thought.He flapped his wings and flew into the air.Seeing a beach nearby,convienently,he landed swiftly into a sturdy desert tree.He saw a metal floating thing in the distance,with the strange ones parked on it.He closed his eyes,and after quite some time,fell into sleep.

Thaurissam woke,as the sound of a long squawk screamed through the air.He looked up,and saw a bird's head above his.He shook his head,and the wily gull flapped away.He rose and shook the leaves out of his wings.He saw a white thing floating in the distance.He swam to it.Just garbage.He continued swimming until he found a small island a while off the coast,and looked out.

[I think I'll keep these pretty short]

I think it's very interesting how you keep us enthralled by not mentioning what exactly it is he's doing. We have a hint, since it deals with that pup, but we still aren't precisely sure just what he's doing. It adds a nice element of intrigue and keeps me here to find out. c:

Praise aside, I think keeping it short is perfectly fine-- but maybe just a few more details so I can keep up to him and where he's going, and what he's doing. for the most part I know what's going on, but just a few smaller details in little areas might help. Maybe not, I'm not sure. I don't know how else to critique this, since it's pretty good already and the only thing you need to do is keep it nice and even, and fresh. Which you're pretty much already doing. I wouldn't fret too much about huge details, but maybe just more into the wolf himself-- just as he feels sometimes while he's doing certain things. While describing his actions, you could also tell occasionally (not ALL the time though) about how he feels about certain things. You did that in this chapter, but just a hint more would be nice.

That's all my personal opinion, though, and I'd like it if you kept this story up!

Very good job so far. :3

(Sorry if this sounded offensive... I didn't mean it to o-o)

EternalFox wrote:I think it's very interesting how you keep us enthralled by not mentioning what exactly it is he's doing. We have a hint, since it deals with that pup(it was a kitten they adopted ), but we still aren't precisely sure just what he's doing. It adds a nice element of intrigue and keeps me here to find out. c:

Praise aside, I think keeping it short is perfectly fine-- but maybe just a few more details so I can keep up to him and where he's going, and what he's doing. for the most part I know what's going on, but just a few smaller details in little areas might help. Maybe not, I'm not sure. I don't know how else to critique this, since it's pretty good already and the only thing you need to do is keep it nice and even, and fresh. Which you're pretty much already doing. I wouldn't fret too much about huge details, but maybe just more into the wolf himself-- just as he feels sometimes while he's doing certain things. While describing his actions, you could also tell occasionally (not ALL the time though) about how he feels about certain things. You did that in this chapter, but just a hint more would be nice.

That's all my personal opinion, though, and I'd like it if you kept this story up!

Very good job so far. :3

(Sorry if this sounded offensive... I didn't mean it to o-o)

It's ok
and I like that you appreciate it so far

Cool!
I'll be waiting for more :333

Very good so far, but a just a little more clearity on what is happening would be convenient, and useful to the story's plot.

Part 2-

Thaurissam saw another island on the horizon.He launched into the air,swiftly tracking the island with amber-orange eyes.He felt the wind in his wings.It felt good-it was what he had always aspired for,when he was small.He saw that the ocean grew shallower as he neared the shoreline of a small grassland island.

How easy to catch that wolf,the crocodile thought.Such a tasty snack,too.The crocodile watched as the timber-gray wolf landed,and then made his approach,stalking the winged feast.He got close enough,then he-fell down?

Thaurissam had turned around and dealt the crocodile a blow to the snout.He smacked it with his front paw,and then went on his way towards the vague figure he had just seen in the distance.He watched it carefully.It was an omega of the normal wolves,that the strange ones brought here.

"Don't hurt me...",the omega whimpered.

Thaurissam sniffed him."Have you heard of the one named Mistslight?"He was thinking of his mate,that had assumed the kitten they had adopted would either be found by humans,or eaten by predators.

"Not here...Skylands....Heard from the Alpha....don't hurt me!",the panicked,beige and silver wolf whimpered.

Thaurissam sighed.Wolves dying,left and right.Such was the life of the winged wolves.He added to the mental list in his mind:

Kitten
Mate

Something didn't seem right.He asked the winged wolf if he knew about Milosinunn,the medic who had proclaimed the passing of his kitten.

"Skylands...Not here...Humans...shot..",the omega said,becoming a bit less frightened.

Thaurissam sighed again.He walked away,but not after asking the name of the omega.Turns out her name was Mossy Clouds.He said farewell to her,then continued on his journey.

((Mossy Clouds will appear later in the story. ))

Nice Story! Please Write more!

((Sorry I'm not posting,I'll probably have the next part up tommorow ))