Do you have a major plot planned out? Or will this just be adventures of a wolf pack? Do you see what I'm getting at?
Plus, your grammar is okay, but you need to put a "," or "." after someone has finished speaking. You always put an exclamation or question mark, but there always need to be some sort of grammar there. Example below.
You wrote this:
"I told you, Ashenon died. I'm sorry, Feather. I know that you loved him alot" Alanalia said in her "just a little bit" annoyed voice.
Here is my edited version.
"I told you, Ashenon died. I'm sorry, Feather. I know that you loved him a lot," Alanalia said in her "just a little bit," annoyed voice.
(Also put 'a lot' in red since 'alot' isn't a word.)
I hope this criticism helped you. With a little more practice, your writing could be 10x more fantastic that it already is.
But I want to remind you one thing. You are a very good writer, but don't let that make you think you can't improve. There is always room for improvement.