zomg Phoenix wrote a poem
I never do, but while making the crest of the Lightscribe lineage, this popped into my head-
High in the mountains,
where the snow never melts;
run along the icists
with their snowy frosty pelts.
We are the Lightscribe,
We live among the frost.
We are the Lightscribe,
our magi became lost.
We have’t seen our friend
for many, many years.
All us Icists know
of the human’s tears.
We are the Lightscribe,
we search among the snow
We are the Lightscribe,
No one will ever know.
Eyes of ice, hair of sun,
She traveled to the west.
She met a man among the ice,
who never gave her rest.
We laugh at him, he was so vain-
He did not know our magi.
before too long enemies
quickly became allies.
We are the Lightscribe,
We search for our friend.
We are the Lightscribe
Until the bitter end.
We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
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- Phoenixwildfire
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We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
Last edited by Phoenixwildfire on February 9th, 2011, 8:09:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
- freakazoid
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Re: We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
*thinks that MagiStream needs a 'like' button*
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Re: We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
Magistream DEFININTLY needs a like button!! lol. I tottaly agree.
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Re: We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
Hm, allow me to provide some critiquing among all the applause you are getting?
The meter and the rhyme in the last three lines of the second to last stanza also sounds a bit forced. For example, the rhyme of "allies" to "magi" doesn't work very well because the stress for "allies" is on the first syllable. And the final two lines of that stanza don't have the same rhythmic ring as the ending lines of the other stanzas.
That sentence sounds a bit awkward. Perhaps because it should be "we," not us. And should "Icist" be "Icists"?phoenixwildfire wrote: All us Icist know
of the human’s tears.
The meter and the rhyme in the last three lines of the second to last stanza also sounds a bit forced. For example, the rhyme of "allies" to "magi" doesn't work very well because the stress for "allies" is on the first syllable. And the final two lines of that stanza don't have the same rhythmic ring as the ending lines of the other stanzas.
Kestrad has been eaten by life. She'll probably pop back in occasionally.
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Keep story | Portal Guild | Graphics Shop
Please do not click my hatchlings. Thank you.
Avatar by Kingsfisher, sig art by herinbon
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Re: We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
Well the last line with allies was broken on purpose :3
I mean... using the singular- 'ally' sound strange when talking about two people?
I suppose I could change 'enemies' to 'enemy' as well, but there's the same problem. :tard:
But yes- it's supposed to be Icists for that part thank you!
I mean... using the singular- 'ally' sound strange when talking about two people?
I suppose I could change 'enemies' to 'enemy' as well, but there's the same problem. :tard:
But yes- it's supposed to be Icists for that part thank you!
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Re: We are the Lightscribe (an Avalon/Lineage poem)
Wait....then I would like alot of things...Luna on a 'like' rampage....oh well!!!
Luna likes this poem!!!
Luna likes this poem!!!