i also would say this - but Kestrad said it so much better than I... hehe I like Nikko so far lolKestrad wrote:I muchly like your writing. It is detailed and interesting to read, with well developed characters. (Not to mention you have good grammar, something which is a must for anything I read!)
Tales from Shoal Keep: Ch. 19 - Anemoné
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep
Beetle by Cassowary
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
I was Mordeth - I am now not. I'm gone again - find me on VOU if it's urgent under Mordeth
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
I was Mordeth - I am now not. I'm gone again - find me on VOU if it's urgent under Mordeth
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep
Dedicated to Yellowfang
Three. A Plot Dumping
Why me? Why did this creeper have to talk to me? There's got to be plenty of Keep trained magi around here that he could have pestered. I couldn't just go home in peace, could I? Red's brain was on fire as she led the strange young man upstairs to her room. He had insisted on talking in private, and had asked her (rather lewdly) if she had a room they could go to. She bit her lip and resisted the urge to punch him in his nose, nodding tightly.
Elansa, having finished her dinner, followed behind him. The Shaa had taken to him immediately, so Red knew she didn't need to worry about him. Her companions were devoted to her, and most likely wouldn't affectionately lick anyone intending to do her harm.
Removing the iron key from her pouch, she looked at the number etched into the shaft and walked down the narrow hallway until she found the door with the same number on it. The room was modest and sparsely decorated. A single sized bed was positioned beneath a window against the opposite side of the room. Next to the bed there was a small dresser with a stool and a mirror. A plain door on the opposite wall led to what she assumed was a washroom.
Red closed the door after Nikko, keeping the door unlocked for now. Elansa hopped up onto the bed and curled up, placing her head on Red's lap when she sat down. Red fondled her ears and stared at Nikko, who had seated himself at the small dresser.
"Well? It's bad enough everyone in the commons saw me leave for my room with a man I hadn't arrived with, but if you're just going to talk nonsense-"
"Calm down, love. Calm down. I actually do want to talk to you about the temperature changes. I come from the Arkene, and it's been unusually warm there. This past winter, we didn't get a lot of snow, which is strange. Warm winds have been coming up from the south." He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and hands hanging down. "I traveled south to see what was going on - maybe the people of Synara were doing some weird experiment?" He shook his head here, his hair falling into his eyes again. "I couldn't find anything. The people were kind and welcoming, but they had no idea what was going on. I went further south, where the lands are supposed to be warm, and it was cool. Far cooler than it should have been. I thought maybe it was just me, but you confirmed it."
"And so I'm here in the desert. I've talked to the nomads, and even here on the outskirts, people have noticed temperature changes. This is a very recent, very abrupt change, so I doubt it's a change in the atmosphere. Someone or something is messing with the balance of nature, and they need to be stopped," he said, raising his head and looking Red in the eye.
"If you're right, then it's true, they do need to be stopped. But why are you telling me all this?" Nikko raised his eyebrow at her. Red pursed her lips. "You want me to help you on this quest of yours? Wouldn't Thane dispatch specially trained magi to deal with this?" The young man sighed and sat up, straightening his back.
"You're not a student anymore, I reckon. You don't wear the robes of a student. You're a fully fledged magi, and either very powerful or very rich to keep two Earth Unicorns. You've more than likely got a Keep filled with well trained creatures, you've experienced the issue at hand in person, and, well, you're here." Nikko rubbed his forehead with his hands. "Every magi I've come across down this way is a twitchy little student that tells me that they will most certainly inform Thane about my concern before scuttling away clutching their scrolls." Red chuckled at his description, as most young students on travels were generally exactly like that.
"So, I'm a capable magi, I've got a big Keep and lots of creatures at your disposal... I'm not seeing what's in it for me. Traveling with a strange man, possibly risking my life for this man... It's not looking good for you, pal." Nikko stood and strode forward, hooking his foot around the legs of the stool and scooting closer to Red. He sat back down and leaned forward, looking her in the eye. She sat back, startled by his eyes - they were the colour of lake ice in the morning.
"The creatures magi take on as companions are in danger - every one of them. If the balance of nature is upset too much, they will die," he said slowly. He pointed to the window, where the stable below could be seen, soft lights coming from it. "Your beloved Unicorns will die. Your Shaa here will die. You're the only person I've come across who can-"
Before he could finish his statement, there was a loud crash from downstairs and a series of screams. In a lightning fast, fluid movement, Nikko was across the room, out the door, and down the hallway to peer over the edge of the railing. Elansa was on her feet as well now, her fur bristling and a growl emanating from her throat. Red sighed. This wasn't going to be a good night.
A few seconds later, Nikko burst into the room. Without a word, he ran to the bed and threw open the window above it. Sticking his hand out the window, he murmured a few words and a ladder appeared. He turned to Red, his eyes hard.
"We need to leave, love, now. Down the ladder. How fast are your Unicorns?" he asked in a rush. Elansa had leapt lightly out of the window, landing softly in the sand below unharmed. Red climbed through the window and looked back up at Nikko.
"Fast enough to get us out of whatever trouble you dumped on my head," she grumbled.
HODAMN, Chapter three written in one day! I think I may be getting back into the swing of writing! What do you guys think?
Comments, critiques? If you find any typos, please point them out! You won't offend me I'm also adding a POLL. PLEASE vote in it!
Three. A Plot Dumping
Why me? Why did this creeper have to talk to me? There's got to be plenty of Keep trained magi around here that he could have pestered. I couldn't just go home in peace, could I? Red's brain was on fire as she led the strange young man upstairs to her room. He had insisted on talking in private, and had asked her (rather lewdly) if she had a room they could go to. She bit her lip and resisted the urge to punch him in his nose, nodding tightly.
Elansa, having finished her dinner, followed behind him. The Shaa had taken to him immediately, so Red knew she didn't need to worry about him. Her companions were devoted to her, and most likely wouldn't affectionately lick anyone intending to do her harm.
Removing the iron key from her pouch, she looked at the number etched into the shaft and walked down the narrow hallway until she found the door with the same number on it. The room was modest and sparsely decorated. A single sized bed was positioned beneath a window against the opposite side of the room. Next to the bed there was a small dresser with a stool and a mirror. A plain door on the opposite wall led to what she assumed was a washroom.
Red closed the door after Nikko, keeping the door unlocked for now. Elansa hopped up onto the bed and curled up, placing her head on Red's lap when she sat down. Red fondled her ears and stared at Nikko, who had seated himself at the small dresser.
"Well? It's bad enough everyone in the commons saw me leave for my room with a man I hadn't arrived with, but if you're just going to talk nonsense-"
"Calm down, love. Calm down. I actually do want to talk to you about the temperature changes. I come from the Arkene, and it's been unusually warm there. This past winter, we didn't get a lot of snow, which is strange. Warm winds have been coming up from the south." He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and hands hanging down. "I traveled south to see what was going on - maybe the people of Synara were doing some weird experiment?" He shook his head here, his hair falling into his eyes again. "I couldn't find anything. The people were kind and welcoming, but they had no idea what was going on. I went further south, where the lands are supposed to be warm, and it was cool. Far cooler than it should have been. I thought maybe it was just me, but you confirmed it."
"And so I'm here in the desert. I've talked to the nomads, and even here on the outskirts, people have noticed temperature changes. This is a very recent, very abrupt change, so I doubt it's a change in the atmosphere. Someone or something is messing with the balance of nature, and they need to be stopped," he said, raising his head and looking Red in the eye.
"If you're right, then it's true, they do need to be stopped. But why are you telling me all this?" Nikko raised his eyebrow at her. Red pursed her lips. "You want me to help you on this quest of yours? Wouldn't Thane dispatch specially trained magi to deal with this?" The young man sighed and sat up, straightening his back.
"You're not a student anymore, I reckon. You don't wear the robes of a student. You're a fully fledged magi, and either very powerful or very rich to keep two Earth Unicorns. You've more than likely got a Keep filled with well trained creatures, you've experienced the issue at hand in person, and, well, you're here." Nikko rubbed his forehead with his hands. "Every magi I've come across down this way is a twitchy little student that tells me that they will most certainly inform Thane about my concern before scuttling away clutching their scrolls." Red chuckled at his description, as most young students on travels were generally exactly like that.
"So, I'm a capable magi, I've got a big Keep and lots of creatures at your disposal... I'm not seeing what's in it for me. Traveling with a strange man, possibly risking my life for this man... It's not looking good for you, pal." Nikko stood and strode forward, hooking his foot around the legs of the stool and scooting closer to Red. He sat back down and leaned forward, looking her in the eye. She sat back, startled by his eyes - they were the colour of lake ice in the morning.
"The creatures magi take on as companions are in danger - every one of them. If the balance of nature is upset too much, they will die," he said slowly. He pointed to the window, where the stable below could be seen, soft lights coming from it. "Your beloved Unicorns will die. Your Shaa here will die. You're the only person I've come across who can-"
Before he could finish his statement, there was a loud crash from downstairs and a series of screams. In a lightning fast, fluid movement, Nikko was across the room, out the door, and down the hallway to peer over the edge of the railing. Elansa was on her feet as well now, her fur bristling and a growl emanating from her throat. Red sighed. This wasn't going to be a good night.
A few seconds later, Nikko burst into the room. Without a word, he ran to the bed and threw open the window above it. Sticking his hand out the window, he murmured a few words and a ladder appeared. He turned to Red, his eyes hard.
"We need to leave, love, now. Down the ladder. How fast are your Unicorns?" he asked in a rush. Elansa had leapt lightly out of the window, landing softly in the sand below unharmed. Red climbed through the window and looked back up at Nikko.
"Fast enough to get us out of whatever trouble you dumped on my head," she grumbled.
HODAMN, Chapter three written in one day! I think I may be getting back into the swing of writing! What do you guys think?
Comments, critiques? If you find any typos, please point them out! You won't offend me I'm also adding a POLL. PLEASE vote in it!
Last edited by sammythethief on February 4th, 2011, 12:01:47 am, edited 2 times in total.
Be kind.
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
*goes to vote in poll*
*wonders what caused noise*
*waits for more*
/end smiley abuse
*wonders what caused noise*
*waits for more*
/end smiley abuse
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
First of all I hope your day got better!Yellowfang wrote:*goes to vote in poll*
*wonders what caused noise*
*waits for more*
/end smiley abuse
Second, a very naughty something that doesn't like being quiet or very nice at all caused the noise!
Be kind.
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
Whoo! The plot thickens!
Kestrad has been eaten by life. She'll probably pop back in occasionally.
Keep story | Portal Guild | Graphics Shop
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Please do not click my hatchlings. Thank you.
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
hmmm wonder what caused the ruckus???
Beetle by Cassowary
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
I was Mordeth - I am now not. I'm gone again - find me on VOU if it's urgent under Mordeth
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
I was Mordeth - I am now not. I'm gone again - find me on VOU if it's urgent under Mordeth
- sammythethief
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
We shall see. Bwahahaha!
Thanks for the reviews, everyone. You're making me want to write more - this is exactly what I need!
Thanks for the reviews, everyone. You're making me want to write more - this is exactly what I need!
Be kind.
Formerly MadameRed - same grumpy soul, new and improved theft!
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
MADAME!! Write more! i want MOAR!
help??
the ruckus sounds like a very angry thing
help??
the ruckus sounds like a very angry thing
Beetle by Cassowary
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
I was Mordeth - I am now not. I'm gone again - find me on VOU if it's urgent under Mordeth
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
I was Mordeth - I am now not. I'm gone again - find me on VOU if it's urgent under Mordeth
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
BWAA I love Nikko
you should totally make him a sorcerer o3o it would explain why he thought she 'owned' the pets.
Since Keisin thought the same thing >_<
Write more, I love this one If you're just getting back into the swing of things I can't wait until you've got the groove back
you should totally make him a sorcerer o3o it would explain why he thought she 'owned' the pets.
Since Keisin thought the same thing >_<
Write more, I love this one If you're just getting back into the swing of things I can't wait until you've got the groove back
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Re: Tales from Shoal Keep - Ch 3 Up!
Really good!!!