The Wandering Ice Dragon*Chapter 5 up*

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Re: The Wandering Ice Dragon*Chapter 4 up*

Postby Uprising » January 6th, 2011, 5:56:22 pm

Chapter 5

Quite simply, I'm a prodigy among idiots.
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Re: The Wandering Ice Dragon*Chapter 5 up*

Postby Lunaheart » January 6th, 2011, 6:05:33 pm

Ooooo! Really good! Can't wait for more! <3

Looking for Donis on my wishlist. See my profile for details on what I have to offer.
Sarge is one of my Keep Guardians along with Durakro.
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Re: The Wandering Ice Dragon*Chapter 5 up*

Postby Uprising » January 11th, 2011, 6:41:40 pm

Chapter 6:

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Re: The Wandering Ice Dragon*Chapter 5 up*

Postby PossessedFae » January 12th, 2011, 3:16:37 pm

I really like this story. <3

May I suggest something though? Your story seems a little formal - especially in the dialogue. This makes the characters seem flat and unrealistic. Try using more common words and not the "stiff, polite" ones.
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Re: The Wandering Ice Dragon*Chapter 5 up*

Postby Uprising » January 12th, 2011, 3:37:33 pm

Deathmaster wrote:I really like this story. <3

May I suggest something though? Your story seems a little formal - especially in the dialogue. This makes the characters seem flat and unrealistic. Try using more common words and not the "stiff, polite" ones.


I'll try to; thanks for the suggestion. :wave:
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