To Become a Magi (Chapter 1- Part 2 Posted)

This section is for any writing set in a world not of your own making, whether it is the Magistream world or any other.

Moderator: Tea House Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Adriel
MagiStream Donor
Member of The Dark Brotherhood Member of Artificer's Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 273
Joined: December 15th, 2011, 3:08:55 pm
Gender: Female

To Become a Magi (Chapter 1- Part 2 Posted)

Post by Adriel »

So I enjoy writing and decided to play around some with the Magistream setting. This is probably not the best piece I've ever written, but I am having a lot of fun with it and I hope at least a few of you might find it entertaining as well. Right now I'm just throwing plot to the wind so we'll see where it takes me:

Chapter 1: (part 1)
They say never to begin a narrative by describing the weather. I suppose the weather is a rather trite topic in conversation, it is probably just as boring in a story. But it can't be helped that there was a storm that night. And as most nights are dark, that can't be helped either.

So what was so significant about this dark and stormy night? Well, nothing at first. It was no more than a bluster when I left the inn. All the rooms were booked, and, since a paying customer is better than a working beggar, Brennus tossed me a blanket and shooed me out the door.

I made my way through the streets, blanket wrapped about me and my fingers holding tightly to its scratchy folds. The wind was cool and slapped my hair against my face in wild spurts. Then it would quiet for a few moments and the rush of it would give way to a soft rumble off in the distance. This constant dance of bluster and thunder caught up the street jetsam, tossing it around like a playful kitten. The far off howl of a dog, wolf, or something more sinister echoed through the air; a chilling, hollow sound. The child's cry seemed closer, but there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Everyone was holed up in their homes, safe and warm with the glow of firelight to protect them.

As eerie as it was, the emptiness of the city made me grateful. People are uncannily protective of their property, even if that property is nothing more than an old crate, battered and laying on its side. From their reaction when you so much as look at it, one would think it a chest housing the king's most precious treasures.

Unfortunately, either everyone had seen fit to hide these chests out of sight, or the wind had stolen them and taken them to heaven knows where. There was no sturdy shelter to be found along the streets and the storm was rolling in quick. I would have to retreat to the Dragon's Lair. At least, that is what I liked to call it back then. It was really no more than an outcropping of rock that created something like a cave with the trees surrounding it. It did hold all of my worldly goods, some of which were about as useless as dragon treasures, so I suppose the name was a little fitting.

After a heavy rain, it would sometimes be veiled with a waterfall and the light which this sent dancing across the walls never ceased to enamor me. Perhaps this was a childish reason for seeking out the place, but I knew the water would be running full the next morning and I enjoyed being awakened by the silvered sunlight.

However, that sunlight would be long in coming. The shadows intensified as I entered the wood, branches bent and creaked wildly overhead. A few droplets of rain stung my face. Brennus had always warned me about the trees during a storm, but the lightning crackling above only made me more gratefull for their canopie. Still, I hurried, the wind tugging and yanking at my blanket, hair streaming out behind me like a tattered flag. I could see the cave through the trees, appearing as nothing more than a yawning shadow; a shadow which I was all too happy to let swallow me up.

I slipped into it, pressing a hand against the raisen-texture of tree bark just as the clouds freed their torrent. The thunder shook the ground, rattling what few possessions I had collected. It was an odd thunder. Deafening, almost rhythmic, and drawing nearer with each passing minute. I sat, back pressed against the tree trunk and blanket pulled to my chin. A flash of lightning zipped overhead, sparking light into a few tin pieces of junk in my collection. The thunder stopped suddenly and everything seemed almost still in its absence; too still.

A hot breeze struck my face. No, not a breeze. Breath. Two orbs gleamed, dark and sentient in front of me. Instinctively, I swatted at them. My hand met with something cool and segmented almost like...scales! With a snort, the eyes rose higher and I could almost see the fire bubbling up in front of me. I tossed my arms over my head, pressing deeper against the earth. Something crackled and flashed between use. For a moment I glanced up. The creature's eyes were wide, nostrils lined with flame, but there was no movement in them. Not even the slightest quiver. Black splotches danced at the edges of my vision. Something seemed like it had been drained out of me and I was tired...so...tired. The blackness was growing, closing off the world. And the last thing I remember as it faded away was that startled gleam in the dragon's eyes.

To be continued...
Last edited by Adriel on October 4th, 2016, 7:30:28 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Image
User avatar
Clayem
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 39
Joined: April 14th, 2016, 12:18:52 pm
Gender: Kraken

Re: To Become a Magi: A Magistream Story

Post by Clayem »

An interesting start, to say the least. I like your choice of words, even if (to my tastes) you are a little weak on the use of punctuation. (The '[...] almost like... scales!' made me cringe a bit, but that was the only major mistake. I don't like it so much when there is an exclamation point in the narration, even it the moment is surprising, and especially if the text is in the past. But that is just my personal taste, and, as you can see, I am really picking on the smallest detail here.)

On the story side, I think that I was expecting a encounter the moment you mentioned the Dragon's Lair, and was wondering what creature would it be... but then your main character fainted. So I guess that I will have to come next chapter to see what you have chosen as a creature. Which means getting subscribed to your post. Which means you got yourself a first reader!
Always looking for Lunestre Dragons, unfrozen hatchlings and adults. Please PM me if you have any ~

Aannd would be interested in any unwanted competition creatures ~
User avatar
Adriel
MagiStream Donor
Member of The Dark Brotherhood Member of Artificer's Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 273
Joined: December 15th, 2011, 3:08:55 pm
Gender: Female

Re: To Become a Magi: A Magistream Story

Post by Adriel »

Awww! Thank you so much for reading! I wasn't expecting anyone to comment on this. :)
I do fudge a little on grammar. Some of it is intentional, but I understand what you mean. I'll take another look to see if I can make things smoother.
Second installment is written, I just need to edit and that has taken a back seat due to school. Nonetheless, I'll try to get it up soon.
Image
User avatar
Clayem
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 39
Joined: April 14th, 2016, 12:18:52 pm
Gender: Kraken

Re: To Become a Magi: A Magistream Story

Post by Clayem »

All right, will be looking forward then! (Don't forget to subscribe to the topic to receive some notifications when someone comment? That is, if you permitted Magistream to send you some email notifications...)

Anyway, looking forward to see the rest.
Always looking for Lunestre Dragons, unfrozen hatchlings and adults. Please PM me if you have any ~

Aannd would be interested in any unwanted competition creatures ~
User avatar
LightningDragon
MagiStream Donor
Member of Artificer's Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 7873
Joined: October 7th, 2010, 8:43:14 pm
Gender: Literally just six cats of varying gender identities sharing a suit of human skin
Location: Whitestone Keep

Re: To Become a Magi: A Magistream Story

Post by LightningDragon »

A very interesting start! :3
ImageImageImage
User avatar
Adriel
MagiStream Donor
Member of The Dark Brotherhood Member of Artificer's Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 273
Joined: December 15th, 2011, 3:08:55 pm
Gender: Female

Re: To Become a Magi: A Magistream Story

Post by Adriel »

LightningDragon wrote:A very interesting start! :3
Thank you! I'm glad you found it interesting.

Edit: I deleted Chapter 1 Part 2 as I really think it could use further work and I'm something of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. Due to clinicals and exams, it probably won't be re-posted until either late next week or the week after. I apologize for the wait, I'm just picky about my writing and don't like to share anything that is half-hearted or rushed.
Image
User avatar
Adriel
MagiStream Donor
Member of The Dark Brotherhood Member of Artificer's Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 273
Joined: December 15th, 2011, 3:08:55 pm
Gender: Female

Chapter 1

Post by Adriel »

Sorry for the lateness of this. I had to take a break from Magistream, but my enthusiasm for this story has been renewed some, so I have another scene written. No promises as to when this will be continued. With classes and everything, I'm just going to have to give myself permission to procrastinate a little.

Part 2
When I woke, there were two pairs of eyes staring at me; both flared almost red in the flicker of a fire. I blinked against the crackling light and made out the outline of the dragon standing close by. He was hunched over himself, head snaking from side to side.

I jolted up, a scream catching in my throat. Of course he would be angry, I had slapped him and done something to cut off his air. What I didn't understand is how I had lasted this long. Seems like it would've been easier to incinerate me in my sleep.

"So you are alive," the words slid through the air like velvet and, for one irrational moment, I thought it had come from that slithering beast. But the creature's stare was fixed on something behind me and I saw that his seething was not for my benefit.

I turned and faced those second, smaller pair of eyes. They seemed almost beady and rat-like compared to the dragon's. A bitter taste washed over my tongue and I let it flavor my voice, "It would seem so."

He drew nearer and I could make out his features. It was a fine face, but cold and almost lifeless. Like chiseled stone. I crept a little closer to the fire, willing its heat to ward off the chill which was creeping over my arms.

He gave a quick nod, "Well, on to plan B, then. Where are you from?"

I looked around at what I could make from the fire flicker. This was not my Dragon's lair. Grass crunched under my feet and the sky stretched out naked overhead with no buildings or branches to obscure it. Towards what I assumed to be the east, dawn was gathering on the horizon and outlined a row of trees.

"Not here, I take it." He stepped closer, "From far?"

I cringed a little "I don't know. And even if I did, I don't fancy telling a stranger. Not until you tell me what your plan B is."

He smiled. An expression which should have looked like a snarl on him, but somehow it didn't. The effect was something like a knife churning in my gut. "Gladly. I was planning to assist you back to whatever mud hole you crawled out of. Only there is one problem."

"And what is that?" I bristled some at his insult. Even if I was mud-spattered and appeared half-drowned, he didn't need to make a point of it.

"My dragon seems to have taken a liking to you and Torveus Dragons are notoriously stubborn. I fear the only way to get him back to The Keep is if you lead him back. Unless you want a dragon following you around wherever it is you...live."

I could feel my eyes widen and I clenched my teeth together to keep my jaw from falling open. "The Keep? You mean the place where they...you're a Magi!"

He laughed dryly, "No, not quite, but that's a long story."

"Just as well, I'll go. How far is it?"

"It is just a day's walk at the most. You'll have to stay out of sight and out of trouble. Don't mess with any creatures or go to the stream. From the keep, I'll make arrangements to get you back to wherever it is you're from. Magi don't take kindly to beggars and they won't want one hanging around for long."

"I'm not a beggar. And if I leave, won't your dragon just follow me? After all, you don't keep your creatures all in cages, do you?"

"Don't worry, he won't follow you. Not if I can help it."

I didn't like the way he said it, but I had little choice and the thought of actually seeing The Keep tempered my tongue. Ever since I was little, I had heard stories about it and the creatures that lived there. Of course childhood tales are usually a far cry from reality, but the images of magi and their companions never left me even as I grew to realize what the world was truly like.

Of course, there was Brennus to worry about, but he would have to do without me for a couple days. I can't say I was feeling too kindly toward the surly old innkeeper anyway, after he threw me out and all. What is more is that my arms were still sore from scrubbing for his guests.
Instinctively I rubbed them as my host gathered his things.

He seemed to belong in the shadows and a part of me wished he would just stay there and let them swallow him up, but he was my way back to The Keep, so I diverted my thoughts.

I wanted to ask him what had happened, as if he would know. Even if he did, he didn't seem the type to tell me. But I knew that thing that had occured between the dragon and I was far from normal. All of my energy had been drained by it. It had only happened that one other time, but that was when I was just a child and there were any number of explainations for it. This occurence wasn't so easy to dismiss.

The thought made me antsy and I wished my escort would hurry. When we finally did start our journey, it wasn't as exciting as it seemed a minute ago. Both of us held our tongues and even the dragon seemed to skulk behind. A nagging worry had begun to press against my every step and I couldn't identify what it was. All I knew is that I had questions and I had to find an answer before I returned to the inn.
Image
User avatar
ShadowJinxxer
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 3
Joined: January 8th, 2017, 1:26:09 am
Gender: Male

Re: To Become a Magi (Chapter 1- Part 2 Posted)

Post by ShadowJinxxer »

Adriel wrote:So I enjoy writing and decided to play around some with the Magistream setting. This is probably not the best piece I've ever written, but I am having a lot of fun with it and I hope at least a few of you might find it entertaining as well. Right now I'm just throwing plot to the wind so we'll see where it takes me:

Chapter 1: (part 1)
They say never to begin a narrative by describing the weather. I suppose the weather is a rather trite topic in conversation, it is probably just as boring in a story. But it can't be helped that there was a storm that night. And as most nights are dark, that can't be helped either.

So what was so significant about this dark and stormy night? Well, nothing at first. It was no more than a bluster when I left the inn. All the rooms were booked, and, since a paying customer is better than a working beggar, Brennus tossed me a blanket and shooed me out the door.

I made my way through the streets, blanket wrapped about me and my fingers holding tightly to its scratchy folds. The wind was cool and slapped my hair against my face in wild spurts. Then it would quiet for a few moments and the rush of it would give way to a soft rumble off in the distance. This constant dance of bluster and thunder caught up the street jetsam, tossing it around like a playful kitten. The far off howl of a dog, wolf, or something more sinister echoed through the air; a chilling, hollow sound. The child's cry seemed closer, but there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Everyone was holed up in their homes, safe and warm with the glow of firelight to protect them.

As eerie as it was, the emptiness of the city made me grateful. People are uncannily protective of their property, even if that property is nothing more than an old crate, battered and laying on its side. From their reaction when you so much as look at it, one would think it a chest housing the king's most precious treasures.

Unfortunately, either everyone had seen fit to hide these chests out of sight, or the wind had stolen them and taken them to heaven knows where. There was no sturdy shelter to be found along the streets and the storm was rolling in quick. I would have to retreat to the Dragon's Lair. At least, that is what I liked to call it back then. It was really no more than an outcropping of rock that created something like a cave with the trees surrounding it. It did hold all of my worldly goods, some of which were about as useless as dragon treasures, so I suppose the name was a little fitting.

After a heavy rain, it would sometimes be veiled with a waterfall and the light which this sent dancing across the walls never ceased to enamor me. Perhaps this was a childish reason for seeking out the place, but I knew the water would be running full the next morning and I enjoyed being awakened by the silvered sunlight.

However, that sunlight would be long in coming. The shadows intensified as I entered the wood, branches bent and creaked wildly overhead. A few droplets of rain stung my face. Brennus had always warned me about the trees during a storm, but the lightning crackling above only made me more gratefull for their canopie. Still, I hurried, the wind tugging and yanking at my blanket, hair streaming out behind me like a tattered flag. I could see the cave through the trees, appearing as nothing more than a yawning shadow; a shadow which I was all too happy to let swallow me up.

I slipped into it, pressing a hand against the raisen-texture of tree bark just as the clouds freed their torrent. The thunder shook the ground, rattling what few possessions I had collected. It was an odd thunder. Deafening, almost rhythmic, and drawing nearer with each passing minute. I sat, back pressed against the tree trunk and blanket pulled to my chin. A flash of lightning zipped overhead, sparking light into a few tin pieces of junk in my collection. The thunder stopped suddenly and everything seemed almost still in its absence; too still.

A hot breeze struck my face. No, not a breeze. Breath. Two orbs gleamed, dark and sentient in front of me. Instinctively, I swatted at them. My hand met with something cool and segmented almost like...scales! With a snort, the eyes rose higher and I could almost see the fire bubbling up in front of me. I tossed my arms over my head, pressing deeper against the earth. Something crackled and flashed between use. For a moment I glanced up. The creature's eyes were wide, nostrils lined with flame, but there was no movement in them. Not even the slightest quiver. Black splotches danced at the edges of my vision. Something seemed like it had been drained out of me and I was tired...so...tired. The blackness was growing, closing off the world. And the last thing I remember as it faded away was that startled gleam in the dragon's eyes.

To be continued...
Post Reply

Return to “The Den”