MagiStream

First thing’s first: I do not suffer from depression, and never have. That means I’m going to be speaking from an outsider’s perspective.

I have spoken with numerous people who are depressed, are suicidal, have attempted suicide, or all of the above. Most are my age range in my school. Every time, I ask, “Why?” and every time, they respond, “Why not?”

It makes no sense to me. I fear death, and love what I can do in life, except when I’m in school, because school is a prison. I’d like to hear other people speak about why they’re depressed or suicidal so I have a better understanding of the topic.

On another, more personal note, I’m worried my sister, who has some form of social anxiety and has experienced a panic attack recently, is depressed. Does anyone have advice?

I'm not depressed either, although I'm answering to the best of my ability based on what I know of my friends. (Perhaps Google can offer you more information than asking a vague question that can be tricky to answer.)

"A combination of genes and stress can affect brain chemistry and reduce the ability to maintain mood stability. Changes in the balance of hormones might also contribute to the development of MDD." (MDD refers to clinical depression.) So they're probably not lying when they say "Why not?" People may not have a 'valid' reason to feel depressed just as they may not have a reason to feel happy.

(As for how they may feel. Since you've mentioned feeling that school is a prison, imagine the same, except life in general is the prison in this case.)

Although based on your age range your peers being moody and/or impulsive is par for the course.

As for advice for dealing with depressed people, I can only suggest that you not attempt to treat them too differently, because (depending on the person) they may not appreciate you for this. Just be wary of their emotional state, attempt to provide support (you don't have to give them advice if you don't think they'll need it, but do offer a listening ear and shoulder to cry on) and encouragement and if you think they're planning to commit suicide, get help. Can't emphasize the last point enough.

I wish you and your sister the best though, fighting depression may be an uphill battle but I'm confident she can pull through.

(Sorry for rambly talk)

I myself suffer from PDD (persistent depressive disorder) and PTSS. I also love life and fear death (like any living thing really) but struggled with suicidal thoughts for most of my youth. Those suicidal feelings are longer an issue in my life thanks to years and years of therapy. I won't end my life but do not feel it has much value either. I simply go about things but it's very rare to experience true joy for me.

I'm still undergoing treatment at a psychiatrist and probably will for most of my life. That said, I am positive about my future as I haven't had any medication for over 10 years, my suicidal thoughts are under control and I am finally able to feel happy at times. I simply take it day by day and try to focus and the things that go well.

Depression is a disease, one that requires constant battle with strong inner thoughts and emotions you have absolutely no control over. It feels like a black hole you cannot escape from; I can be surrounded by dozens of people willing to help and I still feel alone and lost. I tend to withdraw into my loneliness as I feel a burden to all living things around me.

This is also the key to understanding people like us; it isn't a choice nor is there a need for something sad or bad to be actually going on. I can feel absolutely miserable even though I might have just won the lottery.
It's not about "feeling sorry" for ourselves, the irony is that there is a lot of self-loathing and low self-esteem going on with depression.

As for what to say and NOT say I really liked this article:
https://www.healthline.com/health/depre ... pression#6

As for your sister, simply ask her if she wants to seek help and offer to go with her. The sooner she gets help the better. She might feel like she is not able to lead a fulfilling life because of her panic attacks.

BradTheMad wrote:Depression is a disease, one that requires constant battle with strong inner thoughts and emotions you have absolutely no control over. It feels like a black hole you cannot escape from; I can be surrounded by dozens of people willing to help and I still feel alone and lost.

All of this, and then you start feeling like those people would be far better off without having to worry about you constantly, so they can stop trying to help. You start feeling like an emotional leech (well, at least I do).

Luckily I can say my depression is quite lifted at the moment (just went through nearly a year of full blown suicidal depression and have been dealing with it since i was 9). My anxiety however...

I might not have depression, since I've never been diagnosed with it. I feel happy plenty of times. But I commonly have those days where I feel... nothing.

It's a brutal cycle. One day I'll wake up and just not feel emotions at all. I can't be upset, or sad, or laugh at things I usually enjoy, and I can't find motivation to care about my passions because I can't feel. Then the next day I'll be able to feel sadness. I'll be upset and sad over being so empty, and I spiral downhill from there and break down over the stupidest things. Sometimes it only lasts a day or two, sometimes a week, sometimes way longer.

I used to have suicidal thoughts when I was in junior high. I believed nobody in the world cared about me, and I was a burden on absolutely everyone, so what was the point of existing if everyone would be happier without me? My parents showed me that they loved me and cared for me, and after a while of struggling to notice (because I was a total idiot), I grew closer to them and the suicidal thoughts stopped. At least, I think?

To this day I still feel really bleak and heavy when I think about my future. I think about how I'll never make enough money to do the things I love, and how I'll probably have to settle for a boring job for the rest of my life just to get by, and when I think about all of those inevitabilities looming ahead of me, I dread the thought of living much longer. I don't want to die any time soon, and I definitely wouldn't take my own life, but sometimes I don't want to live, either. It's confusing and frustrating. I agree with this SO MUCH:

Pok wrote:(As for how they may feel. Since you've mentioned feeling that school is a prison, imagine the same, except life in general is the prison in this case.)

As stupid and edgy as it sounds, I often feel like my own mind and my very existence is a prison that I'm sick of being trapped in. I don't know how to stop feeling that way. Right now in my life, I kinda have to wait for better days where I feel more motivated. I don't really know what to do to cope other than wait things out.

As for your sister... anxiety is awful. (That, I have been diagnosed with.) Be by her and let her know by your words and actions that she's loved and needed. No matter how much I try to help the people around me, I often feel useless, or like I'm irritating them, and knowing they aren't bothered by me and they care about me is so important.

I've never been depressed, and I pray I never will. But sometimes, I find myself experiencing the same symptoms that people seem to connect to depression.

Some days I feel fine. I go to school, I laugh, I hang out with friends, and I come home. No harm there. But in the night, my mind roams free and makes me think and feel dark things. I start feeling useless. I start feeling like my life is pointless, that it's just a constant struggle to do something. But what? What do I want to do? All of my dreams and aspirations feel selfish. A famous, well-known author with many novels under my belt? that's selfish. Narcissistic. And it's like there's a tiny voice in the back of my mind, telling me that I'll never accomplish anything.

I always feel like I'm being torn in half. One half is who I am now. This half is eccentric, colourful, carefree, this half is sarcastic and sassy. This half is the dominant half, the one that's always out in the daylight, laughing and smacking her friends on the back. This half is happy, but this half is also cruel and sadistic. this half likes to see people get in trouble, this half holds grudges, this half gets impatient and angry a lot. But there's another dormant half that's been locked up for ages, and she's dying to be set free. She's quiet, patient and caring, she's young and innocent, this half of me is the ideal student, the ideal friend. But when I'm this half, I feel empty and colourless. I feel like I'm nothing, that I'm just another face in the crowd. Another useless, worthless face that doesn't have an identity or is even a person, in general. I became the first half because I was tired of feeling empty, but the second half is still there.

These two halves have different beliefs. they have different morals, and they have different manners and heck, different cultures. They're always arguing with one another. When I'm in an argument, not only do I have to pick a side, I also have to pick a half of me. But whichever half I pick, the other half whispers in my ear that I'm wrong, that I chose wrong. I can understand both sides in arguments, but at the same time, I can't understand either. Sometimes, I understand the "wrong" side, and my halves scream at me. They tell me that I'm worthless, that I'm the reason the world is a terrible place; they tell me that my class, my family and my friends would be better off if I just disappeared. There are days when I feel like I'm a terrible person, that I'm a bigot, a liar, a parasite; and there are days when I just feel straight-up empty.

I feel like my only escape is through my characters that I write. I use them to express myself, and all of them has a piece of me in them. Whether it'd be self-hatred, insecurities, stress, guilt or apathy, my characters are all ways that I feel. I keep hoping that one day someone will notice that perhaps, my characters sound a little like me, or that I seem to understand certain things a little too much, but so far, no one has. Sometimes, I want to just disappear. I want to take a knife to my stomach, I want to jump off a building and land on my head, I want to hold my breath and never release it. But even then, my halves are arguing. One half wants to live, the other does not. In the end, the fear for death and the hope for life always win out, but each time, the other half feels a little bit closer to victory.

I don't talk about how I feel a lot. The only reason I've been dumping all this today is because I'm more or less anonymous on this site, but in real life, I don't talk about what I feel or how I feel, since I find it embarrassing. Mainly I just deal with it myself.

I have with PTSD and also depression and anxiety as a bonus from the package (sarcasm). It is a constant struggle. My anxiety is very centralized. If you met me, I would probably start the conversation and laugh and smile and be really nice. I don't have social anxiety. I think I used to and then I got hit by a car and all of my social anxiety became centered around cars and loud noises. So if i cross a street, any street I will reach for my companion's hand and hold their had while we cross it. If a phone ringer is too loud I jump.
If someone around you asks for support with their anxiety, if it you're comfortable holding hands or ordering for another person, it would make a world of difference in the long run. It also really strengthens that person's trust for you. It shows them that you are a safe person.

MIA12912 wrote:I have with PTSD and also depression and anxiety as a bonus from the package (sarcasm). It is a constant struggle. My anxiety is very centralized. If you met me, I would probably start the conversation and laugh and smile and be really nice. I don't have social anxiety. I think I used to and then I got hit by a car and all of my social anxiety became centered around cars and loud noises. So if i cross a street, any street I will reach for my companion's hand and hold their had while we cross it. If a phone ringer is too loud I jump.
If someone around you asks for support with their anxiety, if it you're comfortable holding hands or ordering for another person, it would make a world of difference in the long run. It also really strengthens that person's trust for you. It shows them that you are a safe person.

This is very similar to me, with ptsd and all the others, but I do have social anxiety and use being warm and friendly to cover it up.
I found the best thing was people showing they understood me and didnt dismiss it. Also eventually working out that I needed to be kind to myself and not put myself under so much pressure to be 'normal' - a lot of people with these illnesses try so hard to function in a normal way when they need to look after themselves and just function their own way.