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Oof haha

Post by PinkPeach »

Wow, it's been so long since I've seen this. My opinions have changed so much and I'm done with this thread.

Thank you everyone for contributing :wave:
Last edited by PinkPeach on March 8th, 2020, 9:56:34 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: Fighting Back?

Post by chihirolorc »

If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?:

It depends. There is no clear black or white answer on this one. But for the majority of the cases I would say no.

Why so/why not?: I watched the video of the subway slapper that you mentioned. In that case I do not think the hitting back was warranted. Why? Because as the video showed, the man quickly flew into a rage, hit her back way harder, and tried hitting multiple times. That in my opinion is 100% unacceptable. That wasn't about self defense. That was about not being able to control your anger and wanting to hurt the person back.

Other opinions/facts:

It is statistically proven that men are more likely to beat a woman to death than the other way around. I specifically chose beating to death as the measure because it shows the absolute severity of the beating and a number that cannot be challenged. For other cases of abuse, self reporting can alter the actual numbers. The number of dead bodies is hard cold evidence. In Canada, in the year 2011, 59 women were beaten to death by their husband whereas 7 men were beaten and killed. That's a 90 to 10% ratio. 59 may seem as a small number but bare in mind this is the people who were outright killed. Not those who were severely beaten. (http://www.women.gov.on.ca/owd/english/ ... #footnote8)

So why am I posting this? It's to illustrate that when men use force it is likely WAY more dangerous than when a woman does. Men are way more likely to fly into a rage and beat another person to death. It may at first seem as though hitting back is justified, provided that the woman hit first, but in most of the cases the violence thrown back is WAY DISPROPORTIONATE . Saying that a man should be able to beat a woman if he was hit first is like saying that I now get to mow down your whole lawn just because you broke one flower in my garden. Also, I still don't think I should get to break a flower too. An eye for an eye logic is about vengeance not justice. I think it's sad that you think people think of men as punching bags and women as china cups, when women are statistically a lot more likely to become punching bags. They have historically been the largest victims of abuse, and still are.

Conclusion:
Am I saying that when a woman hits a man she should go free? Absolutely not. But that's what assault charges are for. The man in the video had a choice. He had a choice to walk way and report her. But he didn't. He self absolved himself of guilt and beat her back way harder. That is not okay and should not be okay. The establishment of a criminal justice system is one of the greatest achievements of a civilized society. Taking matters into your own hands and hitting back completely disregards justice.

So when is it justified? When the man reasonably fears for his safety and does not have an option to walk away. In other words, a genuine case of self defense.
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Re: Fighting Back?

Post by PinkPeach »

chihirolorc wrote:If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?:

It depends. There is no clear black or white answer on this one. But for the majority of the cases I would say no.

Why so/why not?: I watched the video of the subway slapper that you mentioned. In that case I do not think the hitting back was warranted. Why? Because as the video showed, the man quickly flew into a rage, hit her back way harder, and tried hitting multiple times. That in my opinion is 100% unacceptable. That wasn't about self defense. That was about not being able to control your anger and wanting to hurt the person back.

Other opinions/facts:

It is statistically proven that men are more likely to beat a woman to death than the other way around. I specifically chose beating to death as the measure because it shows the absolute severity of the beating and a number that cannot be challenged. For other cases of abuse, self reporting can alter the actual numbers. The number of dead bodies is hard cold evidence. In Canada, in the year 2011, 59 women were beaten to death by their husband whereas 7 men were beaten and killed. That's a 90 to 10% ratio. 59 may seem as a small number but bare in mind this is the people who were outright killed. Not those who were severely beaten. (http://www.women.gov.on.ca/owd/english/ ... #footnote8)

So why am I posting this? It's to illustrate that when men use force it is likely WAY more dangerous than when a woman does. Men are way more likely to fly into a rage and beat another person to death. It may at first seem as though hitting back is justified, provided that the woman hit first, but in most of the cases the violence thrown back is WAY DISPROPORTIONATE . Saying that a man should be able to beat a woman if he was hit first is like saying that I now get to mow down your whole lawn just because you broke one flower in my garden. Also, I still don't think I should get to break a flower too. An eye for an eye logic is about vengeance not justice. I think it's sad that you think people think of men as punching bags and women as china cups, when women are statistically a lot more likely to become punching bags. They have historically been the largest victims of abuse, and still are.

Conclusion:
Am I saying that when a woman hits a man she should go free? Absolutely not. But that's what assault charges are for. The man in the video had a choice. He had a choice to walk way and report her. But he didn't. He self absolved himself of guilt and beat her back way harder. That is not okay and should not be okay. The establishment of a criminal justice system is one of the greatest achievements of a civilized society. Taking matters into your own hands and hitting back completely disregards justice.

So when is it justified? When the man reasonably fears for his safety and does not have an option to walk away. In other words, a genuine case of self defense.
Very good point! I agree when you say that a man should not hit extremely hard when a woman hits lighter than what he hit (if that makes sense). Also, to clarify, I don't think the "punching-bag china cup" thing based on stats, it's how people (around my area from what iv'e seen)tend to say things like "don't ever hit a woman" and the woman is beating up a guy,but they get all crazy when he hits back (probably for self defense). I'm also not saying that every guy is a punching-bag, but many are expected to be like that, the same with women. a few women I see are acting brutal then playing victim, many don't, but some do. I personally am quite strong and would never hit a guy, but I see people who thinks ok or even the right thing to do to "test his manlyness' by hitting him.

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Re: Men Hitting Women

Post by crimsonkitsune »

If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?:
Personally, I don't think anyone should be hitting anyone. Keep your dang hands to yourself in the first place, gosh darn it! But if a man's life is genuinely threatened and the hits keep coming in earnest, by all means use self-defense! But just be smart about it and use proper fight techniques to fend them off

Why so/why not?:
To expand upon my view, let me just state for the record that I am a total pacifist at heart-- always have been. Fighting is pointless. Violence is stupid and only serves to beget more violence. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, you know.
That being said, I'm also a practicioner of Muay Thai, so I am technically a fan of fighting, to some extent. It's an amazing workout, and makes for an exhilarating sport.
Because of my time in martial arts, I now endorse the use of self-defense (before that I wasn't on board with it at all), and for any gender, but only when the situation truly calls for it. And only when using the right kind of martial arts to defend yourself.

Some styles are slightly better for self-defense. Whether my style is effective or not is debatable: Muay Thai is a great style inside of the ring; it's definitely earned its place in professional fighting. Outside of the ring, my art form is especially well-suited for fending off a group of people, but it's really only effective until the fight goes to the ground (which it almost always does), since my primary weapons are my shins and my knees. It's a good form of self-defense sometimes -- you can fight from a distance and hardly anyone expects a strong kick instead of a punch -- but there are other martial arts better suited for incapacitating people quickly and more efficiently.

I firmly believe that self-defense should only be enacted through the use of martial arts, since they're all about incapacitating your attacker. You're not looking to beat someone to a pulp, you're working to stop the attacker, force them to submit. You are disciplined, and you have restraint. That's what I like about martial arts. There's a whole thought process behind it.

What I'm trying to say through all of this is that I think men (also women, but especially men since that's what the topic is about) should learn martial arts not only for self-defense tactics, but also for the control and discipline it brings. To make sure they don't go too far when they absolutely need to defend themselves--when it's a life or death situation against a woman. There are some crazy broads out there.
And hey, if nothing else, it's a great way to let off some steam, redirect that energy into something useful, and get your daily exercise in through sparring!

Other opinions/facts:
Whoops, I forgot about this section. I put the essence of all of my opinions in the middle section. Oh well, no going back now.

Well, I could reiterate that violence is stupid but inevitable, and is, as much as some people might argue, never truly the answer, but when confronted with inescapable, unrelenting violence--and from anyone of any gender--it temporarily becomes the only option to counteract it. Like fighting fire with fire, albeit a disciplined,well-controlled fire.
If a man hits a woman back, it should be only enough to stop her, and if the ordeal turns into a full-blown life-or-death situation, martial arts becomes the only acceptable method of self-defense. Self defense is not an excuse to beat the snot out of a woman, so only true methods of incapacitation should be used.

Might I also add that if you don't really know martial arts, and the situation is safe enough, then don't even bother hitting the woman back--use the good ol' justice system and slap a nice assault charge on them! See how they like that! They have no right to inflict physical harm on you-- nobody does.
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Re: Men Hitting Women

Post by IzzieDragon »

If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?:
As a kid, I was actually infuriated by boys when they said "I would hit you but you're a girl". Listen kid, you shouldn't be hitting anyone. Period.
Male lives and female lives are no more important. The only difference between us is our genitals.
Why so/why not?:If you are struck I believe you have a right to strike back regardless of gender. It's self defense. At the same time, two wrongs do not make a right.
If we could just crop out violence all together maybe the world would be a better place. But I'm not sure if we can do that.
Other opinions/facts: If anyone in this thread or reading this thread is in what they may think is an abusive relationship please seek help. Even if you do not have the strength to reach out to authorities, someone else might.
While I've never been in an abusive relationship, I've seen what it's like. You deserve better. <3
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Re: Men Hitting Women

Post by NuclearGal »

If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?:
If she starts things, than yes, I think he should be allowed to hit back. Sometimes he must restrain her or self defense, but what does she expect?
Why so/why not?:
Because it's true gender equality (if the fight/hits are fair)
Other opinions/facts:
Sometimes, men go crazy and beat up a woman way worse than she did to him, which is not cool, but if she screams for help the minute he fights back, than she needs to take a long walk off a short pier.
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Re: Men Hitting Women And Equal Rights?

Post by Exxthus »

(My response style is tricky to format into worksheet-question format without breaking flow, forgive me.)

Rather than saying whether or not hitting is okay or not, I'll say that everyone should have a right to defend themselves if legitimately attacked, regardless of who/what they may be. There will always be crazy people out there, and assault is against the law for a reason. I'll also not say that violence shouldn't ever occur. This is dangerous idealism and ignores that societies are formed around it; in order to enforce that law, the threat of violence against the law-breaker must also exist. I may be going too broad here though.
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Re: Men Hitting Women And Equal Rights?

Post by TheAngryPademelon »

you hit someone, you get hit back. You insult someone, you get an insult thrown your way. You label someone, you get a label. it's simple, no matter gender, if someone(of either gender) is gonna start crap with someone who is stronger(of either gender) they get what's coming. This is an interesting topic that i like.
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Re: Men Hitting Women And Equal Rights?

Post by Vampyredragon »

If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?: No

Why so/why not?: Because 2 wrongs dont make a right. If he DOES hit back he is just as culpable as she is for hitting him.

Other opinions/facts: I think in cases of domestic assault if there are witnesses that can testify that BOTH parties struck each other (not just holding their hands up to protect their faces) then BOTH partners should be charged with and go to jail for domestic assault.

I believe this strongly coming from a house where domestic assault happened. Yes my step dad usually struck first...but my mom didnt have to hit back..she could have run out and/or call the cops. Plus there was times SHE attacked first. So both should have gone to jail in my opinion! (Especially considering my mom never had visible bruises but there was the time my mom threw a shard of broken window glass at the ex stepdad and he still has a scar from it!)
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Re: Men Hitting Women And Equal Rights?

Post by Sanne »

If a woman hits a man, should he be allowed to hit back?:
In self defense yes.

Why so/why not?:
Only in self defense, if a woman were to hit him with something, intend to kill him, he should be able to hit her so he can get away from her. And vice versa.

Other opinions/facts:
I'm all about equal right, men, woman, white, black etc. If your life is threatened, you should be able to defend yourself.
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