MagiStream

I've previously identified as bi, and still do to less understanding groups for sake of ease. However, I think I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum - most likely demiromantic. It would explain so much. So, so much.

I'm not out - in any sense of the word - to my parents. They're deeply homophobic, and coming out to my sister was hard enough, as she's spent quite the time rubbishing the idea of bisexuality. My younger brother, however, is in many respects my best friend and accepting of however I identify, his answer being that anyone I meet had better treat me appropriately, but he just wants me to be happy regardless. I'm quite open about sexuality with my son as a result, as I'd rather he never felt the doubt I did about whether he'd be accepted by family if he chose to come out as anything other than straight.

Sexuality has been hella confusing to me over the course of my life. I grew up believing I was straight, thought I was for sure a lesbian for a good time, then I was attracted to masculinity (so androgynous women counted, too) and still am to some extent. Now I'll only have a male sexual partner if I even take one any more. Most of my sexuality is in my head now. I find sex oddly awkward if I'm sober unless I know the person really well. Anyway, simply put I'm straight sexually.

Romantically, however, I am pan. Meaning I can feel romantic toward any gender and even more than one person (poly). I am married to an amazing transgender individual and I love them to death. They are the light of my life and go by any pronouns. We are in an asexual poly relationship. The highest regard being our marriage, but we may take sexual partners on the side if we so choose.

Anyway, there's a look into my life.

I didn't know there was a GSA here!! Thank you!! I'm a demigirl, call me Moon. I prefer she/they pronouns.

MoonandDew wrote:I didn't know there was a GSA here!! Thank you!! I'm a demigirl, call me Moon. I prefer she/they pronouns.

Nice to meet you, Moon. Hope you like it on this thread and on the site so far.

Nice to meet you too! I do, so far.

Growing up in a fairly close-minded household, I didn't really know much about sexuality until I moved out. I knew that I thought girls were pretty, but as a child it always felt like that thought was wrong somehow. I'd see models on billboards and it made me feel almost uneasy, like I was going to be punished for looking at those women. I never but two and two together that, hey, maybe girls can like girls like they're 'supposed' to like boys. Nobody taught me what that feeling was, or that it was even possible. Nobody talked about it.

I know now that I'm panromantic, as well as demisexual as far as my orientation goes. Gender is a little different for me, though. I'm definitely nonbinary, I prefer they/them but she/her is cool too, probably just 'cause being DFAB I'm used to it. I'm unsure as to whether my version of nonbinary is that I feel neither male nor female, or both.

All I know for sure is that my daughter calls me 'mommy' and I can't find a gender neutral term for a parent that I like. I'll likely just stick with 'mommy', but gosh that's gonna be confusing soon! Not only am I a step-parent, so she has another 'mommy' in her life, but my wife has finally concluded that she's MTF. She hasn't come out to anyone other than me yet, and she doesn't want to confuse our child. I believe she's holding off on coming out until she can get on E as well, which will be a while from now, so hopefully it'll be easier for our daughter to understand fully when she's not freshly 5 years old.

Our daughter knows that sexuality can vary as well as gender, we're just worried about adding that third 'mommy' into the picture.

But yeah! TL;DR, I'm nonbinary with they/them or she/her pronouns, a panromantic demisexual in a relationship with a lovely MTF lady. I'm super glad there's a GSA here. c:

Hey everyone!
I'm panromantic and demisexual, though when I talk to people who aren't familiar with the community I say I'm bi. Mostly because I've explained my orientation so many times it can be frustrating. I grew up in an ultra-conservative household, but I wasn't necessarily afraid of coming out and being disowned. But basically when I was in high school I developed a crush on a straight girl and I realized I wasn't entirely as straight as I thought I was.

I came out when I was 16 (turning 22 soon) and the first thing my grandma said was "aren't you afraid the boys won't like you if you're ac/dc?" as if I didn't have any other options? (btw, ac/dc is a really outdated term for people who like both men and women).

One of the biggest problems I face within the community is from the community itself. I am in a relationship with a man, and I am constantly told I'm not queer because I'm dating someone of the opposite gender. People don't seem to understand that if I didn't have my boyfriend I may choose to date a woman. It's a little bizarre to me that dating a man negates my queerness. The definition of my orientation is that I am attracted to ALL genders.

Not everyone I date is comfortable with my sexual orientation either, although my current boyfriend knows and is comfortable with my identity which is a nice change.

@laurel1542
Ugh this is a recurrent problem in the community! First with bi and pan people and now with the aces too. It's so frustrating that even in a safe place there's still kind of a hierarchy where people who can "pass as straight" are dismissed. It already feels like the world is against us, we shouldn't be fighting eachother.

@Eonny @laurel1542
I completley agree! It's quite frustrating when people think Pan/Bi/Ace and other sexualities like that work with both male and females. You can be a woman and date a man but be Pan/Bi/Ace!! And I'm Pan and I have a boyfriend, so its annoying when people alienate us because we can pass as straight. My boyfriend is trans btw.