LGBTQ+

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sluiceway
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LGBTQ+

Post by sluiceway »

First things, first:

This topic is a safe place for anyone in the LGBT+ community and its allies. Please also check out the GSA for more help and a place to chat. I ask that you please refrain from making homophobic, trans phobic, and other rude comments within this thread.

A few helpful links:
LGBTQIA Meaning: x
LGBT+ Terms and Meanings: x
Asexuality: x
Demisexuality: x
Pansexuality: x
Questioning Sexuality and Gender Identification: x
Transgender Care: x
Or you can just scroll through the wikipedia page on sexual orientation.


If you ever need help and are feeling suicidal, then please get professional help. The suicide hotline is here. A trans gender specific hotline is here. Here are some things to do when you are feeling down.
Please refrain from sexually explicit material- just as far as anything you could learn in a sex-ed class.
You do not have to share any personal information about yourself. Only talk about what you feel comfortable to.

Some ideas to discuss here are:
-your sexuality
-how you came out
-how you realized your sexuality
-helping others understand different orientations
-helping others understand different types of genders
-your sexuality and how it affects relationships
-personal beliefs on sexuality, gender identification, and sexual practices
-stereotypes of those inside the LGBT+ community
-how to better understand your orientation and identity
-what being an Ally means
-mental health and sexuality or gender

If you have any more useful links, please tell me them either in this thread or through a PM. Also, I myself am still learning within the LGBT+ community, so there is much that I still do not know.


One topic I'd like to talk about is:
I, personally, am demisexual and panromantic. That means that I'm not sexually attracted to someone until a close bond is made, and that I am romantically attracted to people of all genders. What I struggle with is I have some very good friends, but they come from a very Catholic upbringing in which they are just now learning about other sexualities. I'm nervous about being ridiculed by some of them. They're very good friends of mine but they are a bit ignorant when it comes to the LGBT+ community. Only one of my friends knows my true orientation, while I just tell the others that I'm bisexual.

What I was wondering is, do any of you tell others that you're a different sexuality than you really are? And what are some good ways to come out to people that grew up in a very close-minded community?
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sannesara
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by sannesara »

This is quite a deep subject, and it saddens me that it is deemed as such. I, myself, do not know much about my real sexual orientation as I'm still trying to find myself so I just call myself as a straight person for now. However, if I do discover myself one day, I'll proudly show myself to everyone that this is who I am and I don't give a -pigeon- as to what they think of me. If they want to leave me, good riddance. I don't need people in my life that are going to immediately turn their backs on me when they get to know who I am while I accepted them for who they are. Definitely not worth spending my life with.

I was born and currently living in a very, very Catholic place, and it's absolutely pissing me off when everyone around me gives off the vibe that they are going to eat me alive if my gender is not the same with my biological make-up. It takes almost the whole of my willpower to not punch them in the face, especially if they're making extremely rude and snide remarks towards the LGBTQ+ Community. Who are they to talk? Is that what their God taught them to act? Jesus Christ ate with tax collectors, sinners, and those that condemned Him to His death, so they're saying we're not allowed to be with someone whose gender is neither a boy or a girl?

Sadly, I think that if your community is still close-minded, try to steer clear for a bit. I know that it's important that you show who you are, but there are cases that you must wait to get what you want. You can't just attack head-on without a strategy if you want to succeed, right? If that was me, I'd wait until the community starts to be more open about LGBTQ+ and then I'll show myself.

I'd like to add that I'm feeling great about the future of the community. More and more of the newer generations are open to different genders, and I even remember watching a react video of children watching gay and lesbian marriage and one of them after being asked what they would do if one of their friends were to come out of the closet, he said, "He's still my friend, only his gender changed. It doesn't change him" or something along those lines. (Yes, it's one of the FineBros' videos :D)

On a really serious note: Everyone, if you are depressed or really need someone to talk to, you can come to me anytime. Feel free to send me a message and I'll respond to you as fast as I can.

Being someone who is in the LGBTQ+ community does not, I repeat, DOES NOT make you any less of a person. Remember that.
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by DaedAir »

I personally identify as Agender. Meaning I am genderless. I prefer the use of they, them, their, etc. pronouns. I also identify as pansexual and demisexual. Growing up, I lived in a Christian household. I actually didn't come out to my parents until I was a Sophomore in highschool. My parents never accepted who I was. I was actually kicked out the house a few months ago because it. It's hard and frustrating, but my parents slowly seem to becoming around to the fact.

As for coming out to those who are strongly religious. I suggest to pick and choose who you come out too. This is because not everyone you meet is going to be friendly about it. And if the people you come out to don't accept who you are, you don't have everyone 'hating' you. You only have some people 'hating' you.

As sannesara said, I am also here if you, or anyone needs to talk about the LGBTQA+ Community. Whether you have questions or are in need of answers or need to talk or vent, I'm here and all ears. Send me a message and I'll respond to you as fast as I can.
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AspiraDream
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by AspiraDream »

@DaedAir - I'm also agender! :D I'm happy to see that there is someone here that I can relate to. ^^;

Anyway, I'm agender AFAB and my sexuality is damn confusing. I know for sure that I'm asexual but I'm confused on whether i'm panromantic or biromantic with a preference towards girls. I'm just going to call myself panromantic from now on because "biromantic with a preference towards girls" is confusing. o3o So my story on how my sexuality changed over time is confusing so here is a brief summary.

3rd grade: Lesbian
around the beginning of 5th grade: still lesbian
Now (going into 8th grade): Asexual

And here is my romantic orientation:
3rd grade: homoromantic
5th grade: biromantic
Now: Panromantic/biromantic with a prefernce towards girls.

It fluxuated a lot the more I understood myself and my feelings so yeah... There's that. :P
all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream !

♥ please use they/their/theirs/them pronouns for me please ♥

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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by DaedAir »

@AspiralDream -- Good to know. I'm glad I can also relate to someone too.

My journey to get to Agender was actually as/is confusing as your sexuality journey is/was. In Sophomore year of high school, I actually came out as Transgender (ftm). And I stuck with that for a few years. Well sometime near the end of my first (and honestly only) college semester, I started feeling like the term "male" didn't fit me anymore. Also during that time I met my current boyfriend, who really brought to light just how he loved me for me. I felt like I didn't need to change who I was to be with him. I found myself beginning to feel comfortable with my body for once, skin and all. He used my birth name, which was honestly very annoying to me because I didn't like being called by my birth name. I preferred the name that I had chosen (which is Jay). He also used female pronouns, which also made me inwardly flinch because to me it just never seemed right to me that I was a female.

Anyway, fast forward a few months, I am still with my boyfriend (happily soon now celebrating 6 months). I still have some issues with my gender identity, I still stick with agender (although no one in my family or his family uses my preferred pronouns). Although I sometimes wonder if I am genderfluid. It confuses me so much that I tend to just put the whole subject out of my mind. Haha. :t-sweat:
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by niintendo64 »

Oh wow, I cannot express my happiness at finding this thread!! I went to the Hall of Speakers section of the forum in hopes of maybe finding one, and to see it sitting proudly on the first page made me so excited. And especially to see others talking about identifying outside of the boy/girl gender binary & talking about sexual orientations that aren't as "mainstream" (or whatever the word would be).

I, myself, am currently questioning a lot of things about my identity. Mostly because I don't know if there's any word to possibly describe how I feel. And I know labels aren't necessary, but they do make coming out a lot easier. My gender is basically a big mess because I feel like a girl, a boy, and an entirely different gender all mushed into one person, and experienced pretty much simultaneously. I have no idea how to answer the question "What is your gender" because really, what isn't my gender might be a shorter list. This also makes figuring out my sexuality really hard, because you could technically call me gay & straight (I'm exclusively into girls).

But I digress. Onto the topic of coming out to people who are close-minded, this was actually me when coming out to my parents, two conservative Republicans who had made kinda gross comments in the past. I did it by note, since I knew if I tried to tell them verbally I'd choke up & they'd probably interrupt me. In the end, they took the news well, I guess. They misunderstood what I meant, though, and assumed I was a trans guy instead of, y'know, whatever I actually am. So it's nice, 'cause they call me by my preferred name, but they also don't understand me & make really unappreciated comments about how I choose to dress. I think they think its a phase.

As for pronouns & the like, since I'm so unsure about my gender right now, if you could just bypass pronouns entirely & call me by name (Jordan) - or nickname (N64 & Johnny) - that would be preferrable!

Anyways, that's enough about me!! It is really nice to see/meet all of you, & to echo what others have said, if you ever, ever need to talk, I am always here & my inbox is always open.
The name's Jordan, but you can just call me N64 or Johnny!
(No seriously, please don't use pronouns for me; just use my names/nicknames)
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by DaedAir »

@ N64 -- I did a little bit of quick research for you. And here's what I feel would fit you best. If you wish to discuss this, let me know. But it's just from reading the few things I found.

Your Gender Expression: Genderqueer: (1) a blanket term used to describe people whose gender falls outside of the gender binary; (2) a person who identifies as both a man and a woman, or as neither a man nor a woman; often used in exchange with “transgender” - See more at: Link to site

Your sexual preference: Gynesexual/Gynephilic: attracted to females, women, and/or femininity - See more at:Link to site
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by niintendo64 »

@DaedAir -- oh jeez, I really appreciate you taking the time to look these things up for me, that's so thoughtful of you!! As for the words you found, genderqueer is definitely a term I have considered, & I tend to default to it - as well as the umbrella term "nonbinary" - when explaining myself to people. However I never knew about the word gynesexual! That's so useful, instead of having to define my orientation around my own gender (like you would with hetero- or homosexual)! Thank you so much!!
The name's Jordan, but you can just call me N64 or Johnny!
(No seriously, please don't use pronouns for me; just use my names/nicknames)
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by Toucannon »

Lol I found out I was asexual a couple of years ago and still haven't come out to anyone in my family
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Re: LGBTQ+

Post by Callipop »

oh wow, I didn't quite expect to find a thread like this on my second day here, nice! I'm pretty sure I'm pansexual/panromantic, but as far as my gender goes? some ocean waves mixed in with a bit of magic sounds and birds chirping might as well do for a description. in other words, I hardly have any idea what my gender is. sometimes I feel like I'm female? but even then its sorta like a not-quite-there feeling, yknow? when I think about my gender its just like a ball of confusion in my chest and head. I've been thinking genderfluid or genderflux, but both of those are still sorta "hmm, it sorta fits, but not quite." I'm leaning a bit more towards genderflux though, but in short: gender is confusing.
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