MagiStream

Jynxii wrote:I know what she was saying, and I was saying she shouldn't worry about anything, that some day she will find someone, but worrying over it and thinking something is wrong isn't doing any good for herself, and sometimes that can reflect on others and cause a hindrance to her meeting people. And I think that's what most people meant as well.

I have only been with one person and I am 24, so it's not uncommon for people to have only been asked out once or twice or never, especially young like at 20. And just because a guy hasn't voiced his like for you doesn't mean there isn't one that doesn't want you, you might just not see it. Try asking a guy out instead of waiting if it's that hard.

Worrying about small things isn't what she should be doing, it will happen in time, so enjoy being single while it lasts.

This.
I'm 24 and haven't been in a lasting relationship (not a virgin, though), nor am I generally popular with people, but the "older" I get, the more I appreciate it now that I'm not tied to anyone and am free to pursue my own interests without having to take someone else into account for the time being.

There was something like a prospect of a possible relationship last year, when I was 23, but we didn't go into that because the person in question was leaving to study overseas, although we recognised that hadn't it been for that, we might have explored the possibility of a relationship, which was the first time for me like that - we got along as friends and there was some mutual attraction as well.

Really, you shouldn't worry. For myself, I'd rather be alone and wait for someone that I get along with than be recognised as a woman for recognition's sake.

And there's another thing, that I found out during an awkward friendship that didn't really work out; I hope this isn't too off-topic - if you have self-esteem issues regarding relationships, being in a relationship isn't going to magically cure them. In fact, it might be quite the opposite, you might feel pressured to play along with the other person's wishes and you might keep wondering whether you're good enough/whether there isn't something "wrong" with you. Lasting self-esteem comes from WITHIN, not other people.

sorry havent been on in a few days really busy. Also a lot of good advice. I took the advice to just tell him how I feel and I sent him a message on facebook because he works a lot and it might be easyer to tell him on facebook then going to his work and trying to tell him how I feel then stumble over my tounge and then look like a idiot. I have a nice gold chain I want to give to him and I hope he will like it. Too bad some of my friends wanted to trade it for drugs. Made me feel like the drugs were all they cared about when Yesterday I jumped to my friends whim because she was depressed and ended up cutting herself....

I guess I'm not really at the point to understand how you're feeling, since I'm 17, but I've never dated and don't plan on it soon. Most of my cousins are the same: One got a boyfriend just last year and in already out of collage; one got his first girlfriend last month and he's almost 30; and one is in her mid 30s and just now got engaged. So I guess don't feel to rushed. Make sure you really get the right person. It'll be so hard later if he's not the right companion. So I agree with some previous posts: Maybe hint to the guy you like them, spend time with them, get to know them; they're likes, hobbies, etc. People loved to be asked question about themselves, so ask.

So in all, make absolutely sure he's the right one. You don't want a relationship, just for the relationship. It should be all about the actual person, not just to say you have a partner ;)

well being a guy myself im actually oblivious to most people when they hint at liking plus dont give up you will find the right one ^ ^ just keep looking

Kat, if you're male, why does your gender under your avatar picture say female?

Iceclaw89 wrote:I guess I'm not really at the point to understand how you're feeling, since I'm 17, but I've never dated and don't plan on it soon. Most of my cousins are the same: One got a boyfriend just last year and in already out of collage; one got his first girlfriend last month and he's almost 30; and one is in her mid 30s and just now got engaged. So I guess don't feel to rushed. Make sure you really get the right person. It'll be so hard later if he's not the right companion. So I agree with some previous posts: Maybe hint to the guy you like them, spend time with them, get to know them; they're likes, hobbies, etc. People loved to be asked question about themselves, so ask.

So in all, make absolutely sure he's the right one. You don't want a relationship, just for the relationship. It should be all about the actual person, not just to say you have a partner ;)

well I knew the guy for 2 years just we lost contact in between all that time. we hang out when he is not working and when I am not too busy doing other things like college homework and chasing my 3 year old around. I sent him a full message on facebook and told him how I felt and he never got it....its like facebook glitched and never sent my message even though it shows it was sent.

But when I get into a relationship I don't just get into one just to say I have someone to love. I actually go out of my way to treat them good and to spoil them because guys need to be pampered too its not just girls. I know if things don't work out with a guy there will be someone there who will sweep me off my feet and be there for me and I will be there for him. Like until then I wait it out and hang out with my friends. I just wish I could hang out with the guy I like again so I can say it to his face about how I feel and not have to worry about him not getting the message because when you talk to someone face to face you don't have to worry about something in the computer or on the site messing up and your message getting lost somewhere out in cyber space because I am sure that dose happen from time to time.

I don't think there's anything wrong, per se. I'm 25 and have never been asked out by anyone, ever. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Self-doubt is a natural extension of that sort of loneliness, I think. But in my case I'm also not actively seeking a partner. It'll happen when it happens.

As for your situation, all I can say is don't try to force it. Just spend time with him when you can and if things go forward from there, great. If not, well you've still got a great friend and maybe he'll introduce you to one of his friends sometime in the future, and who knows where it will go from there.

Nerruse wrote:I don't think there's anything wrong, per se. I'm 25 and have never been asked out by anyone, ever. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Self-doubt is a natural extension of that sort of loneliness, I think. But in my case I'm also not actively seeking a partner. It'll happen when it happens.

As for your situation, all I can say is don't try to force it. Just spend time with him when you can and if things go forward from there, great. If not, well you've still got a great friend and maybe he'll introduce you to one of his friends sometime in the future, and who knows where it will go from there.

the friend we usually both hang out with just moved and I have no clue when I will see her again

First off- I love this thread.
Second- I haven't read anything but the first post- and snippits of a few.


But I'm in the same position- never kissed, nor even hugged a guy in any situation that was more than "friend" and even then- very rare. I'm also 20 and overweight.... I often have self doubt problems, wondering what's wrong with me, do I scare them away, am I ugly, etc. I look at other females and wish I could dress as well as them or land the guy they have, etc. But oh well- however, I've slowly come to learn something...

I am who I am- and even if I do have some personality flaws I'd like to work out, I'm in general going to be and stay me- and realizing this has helped me to just say whatever and talk to guys I work with like normal co-workers. I don't act interested in them in any way- because honestly I just want to build friendships with them first.

So don't worry dear- you are obviously not in the same boat.

sparkpaw wrote:First off- I love this thread.
Second- I haven't read anything but the first post- and snippits of a few.


But I'm in the same position- never kissed, nor even hugged a guy in any situation that was more than "friend" and even then- very rare. I'm also 20 and overweight.... I often have self doubt problems, wondering what's wrong with me, do I scare them away, am I ugly, etc. I look at other females and wish I could dress as well as them or land the guy they have, etc. But oh well- however, I've slowly come to learn something...

I am who I am- and even if I do have some personality flaws I'd like to work out, I'm in general going to be and stay me- and realizing this has helped me to just say whatever and talk to guys I work with like normal co-workers. I don't act interested in them in any way- because honestly I just want to build friendships with them first.

So don't worry dear- you are obviously not in the same boat.

thank you a lot of this advice was helpful and made me feel better about the situation.