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I'm really happy I found this topic. I used to self-harm, and I have scars on my legs and stomach that I'm really self conscious about. I have been trying to stop, and as of right now I'm about five days clean.

Moonwing32 wrote:I'm really happy I found this topic. I used to self-harm, and I have scars on my legs and stomach that I'm really self conscious about. I have been trying to stop, and as of right now I'm about five days clean.

I'm sorry to hear you self harm, but you are doing a wonderful job keeping clean! 5 days is a really good start. I hope you can keep it up!


I used to self harm daily, to the point where I would have to hold my leg together with duct tape ( I didn't want to see a doctor to get it stitched :/ ) but I have now been clean for MANY years, 8 or so? It was a dumb thing to do but at the time I felt like it was helping. It was a coping mechanism after being in a severely abusive relationship and being the victim of a random act of violence on the street ( a druggy decided she wanted to bash someone, and lucky me, I was the chosen one! She got her friends to video her kicking my head in)
Looking back I regret ever doing it, especially when I see my scars.

To everyone in this thread trying to give up self harm: just know, as hard as it is for you, it's the right thing to do and you will feel better for it. Don't give up the fight. You matter.

Googleplaxin wrote:

Moonwing32 wrote:I'm really happy I found this topic. I used to self-harm, and I have scars on my legs and stomach that I'm really self conscious about. I have been trying to stop, and as of right now I'm about five days clean.

I'm sorry to hear you self harm, but you are doing a wonderful job keeping clean! 5 days is a really good start. I hope you can keep it up!


I used to self harm daily, to the point where I would have to hold my leg together with duct tape ( I didn't want to see a doctor to get it stitched :/ ) but I have now been clean for MANY years, 8 or so? It was a dumb thing to do but at the time I felt like it was helping. It was a coping mechanism after being in a severely abusive relationship and being the victim of a random act of violence on the street ( a druggy decided she wanted to bash someone, and lucky me, I was the chosen one! She got her friends to video her kicking my head in)
Looking back I regret ever doing it, especially when I see my scars.

To everyone in this thread trying to give up self harm: just know, as hard as it is for you, it's the right thing to do and you will feel better for it. Don't give up the fight. You matter.

I wouldn't say self-harming is "dumb". Nor is it smart; it's neither, it's a coping mechanism. I wouldn't want anyone who reads this to think that they are dumb/stupid/worthless for self harming, beause they're not. I know that what you're saying isn't that, but I know when I was self harming I would have taken it very personally if someone said it was dumb, even if it was someone who had done it previously.

Personally, I don't actually regret my self harming. It helped me survive. I genuinely couldn't cope with the emotions I was dealing with, and had to turn them in to physical pain to process them. Was it healthy? No. But if I hadn't found an outlet for them, they would have overwhelmed me and I have no doubt I would have killed myself long ago. Self harming helped me cope until I reached a place where I could process those emotions without physical pain.

I'm not saying that self harming is a healthy way to cope--it isn't. Nor am I saying that there's nothing wrong with using self harm to cope--self harming usually turns in to an addiction, it's isolating, you lose friends and it's a truly awful thing to go through. But chances are, if someone is self harming, it's because they have no healthy coping mechanisms, and they have to learn them. The sooner someone finds healthy coping mechanisms and is able to utilise them instead of of unhealthy ones, the better, but no one should regret finding a way to survive.

I'm glad that you've managed to get past it so completely, that is really great--but please don't judge yourself for harming yourself.

Intempestivity wrote:

Googleplaxin wrote:

Moonwing32 wrote:I'm really happy I found this topic. I used to self-harm, and I have scars on my legs and stomach that I'm really self conscious about. I have been trying to stop, and as of right now I'm about five days clean.

I'm sorry to hear you self harm, but you are doing a wonderful job keeping clean! 5 days is a really good start. I hope you can keep it up!


I used to self harm daily, to the point where I would have to hold my leg together with duct tape ( I didn't want to see a doctor to get it stitched :/ ) but I have now been clean for MANY years, 8 or so? It was a dumb thing to do but at the time I felt like it was helping. It was a coping mechanism after being in a severely abusive relationship and being the victim of a random act of violence on the street ( a druggy decided she wanted to bash someone, and lucky me, I was the chosen one! She got her friends to video her kicking my head in)
Looking back I regret ever doing it, especially when I see my scars.

To everyone in this thread trying to give up self harm: just know, as hard as it is for you, it's the right thing to do and you will feel better for it. Don't give up the fight. You matter.

I wouldn't say self-harming is "dumb". Nor is it smart; it's neither, it's a coping mechanism. I wouldn't want anyone who reads this to think that they are dumb/stupid/worthless for self harming, beause they're not. I know that what you're saying isn't that, but I know when I was self harming I would have taken it very personally if someone said it was dumb, even if it was someone who had done it previously.

Personally, I don't actually regret my self harming. It helped me survive. I genuinely couldn't cope with the emotions I was dealing with, and had to turn them in to physical pain to process them. Was it healthy? No. But if I hadn't found an outlet for them, they would have overwhelmed me and I have no doubt I would have killed myself long ago. Self harming helped me cope until I reached a place where I could process those emotions without physical pain.

I'm not saying that self harming is a healthy way to cope--it isn't. Nor am I saying that there's nothing wrong with using self harm to cope--self harming usually turns in to an addiction, it's isolating, you lose friends and it's a truly awful thing to go through. But chances are, if someone is self harming, it's because they have no healthy coping mechanisms, and they have to learn them. The sooner someone finds healthy coping mechanisms and is able to utilise them instead of of unhealthy ones, the better, but no one should regret finding a way to survive.

I'm glad that you've managed to get past it so completely, that is really great--but please don't judge yourself for harming yourself.

I meant personally for myself, I thought it was a dumb thing to do. I understand that people need to self harm, trust me, I've been there. I didn't mean to come across as offensive at all.

I do definitely regret it myself, but everyone is different. Although it did help me get through those times ( I probably would have killed myself without the release it gave me,) I still find my scars a really stark reminder of it. In a way its good, it shows me that I can get through it. In other ways its bad, I always try to hide my legs away so no one can see, and I do often find myself quite upset when I catch a glimpse of them. It's a weird sort of thing to go through, complete roller coaster.

I did get very very addicted, I found it to be an extreme release when I was feeling at my lowest. If I couldn't get to my razor I'd chew the inside of my mouth until it bled. It was such a strange and awful part of my life, and even know I do sometimes slip. Never to the point of actually cutting again, but in anxiety episodes I often chew still.

It's one of those things that once you start it does always seem to occupy a part of your mind, no matter how small. I guess it is still a testament to how far we have come as people to be able to cope in healthier ways with negative situations.

Googleplaxin wrote: I meant personally for myself, I thought it was a dumb thing to do. I understand that people need to self harm, trust me, I've been there. I didn't mean to come across as offensive at all.

I do definitely regret it myself, but everyone is different. Although it did help me get through those times ( I probably would have killed myself without the release it gave me,) I still find my scars a really stark reminder of it. In a way its good, it shows me that I can get through it. In other ways its bad, I always try to hide my legs away so no one can see, and I do often find myself quite upset when I catch a glimpse of them. It's a weird sort of thing to go through, complete roller coaster.

I did get very very addicted, I found it to be an extreme release when I was feeling at my lowest. If I couldn't get to my razor I'd chew the inside of my mouth until it bled. It was such a strange and awful part of my life, and even know I do sometimes slip. Never to the point of actually cutting again, but in anxiety episodes I often chew still.

It's one of those things that once you start it does always seem to occupy a part of your mind, no matter how small. I guess it is still a testament to how far we have come as people to be able to cope in healthier ways with negative situations.

I figured you were talking about yourself when saying it was dumb and you weren't judging others, I just worry about people taking comments like that personally, because I know I would have at my worst times. I wasn't offended, I just worry that others might take comments like those and internalise them.

I totally get feeling upset by the scars--I feel the same. My scars remind me of painful times (no pun intended), but also that I made it through them. They're a part of who I am, though, so I've learned to accept them over time. I always notice scars on other people and wonder if people notice mine. There's been a few times where I've caught the eye of someone with self injury scars and there's a knowing look that passes between us, not judging, just a mutual understanding.

I've also found the inclination to self harm is always there; it tends to surface during extreme emotions, but like you say, it shows how far we've come that we can sit with those uncomfortable emotions and move past them.

I am really glad that you have come so far past this, and moved on to healthier ways to deal with things. I know just how difficult that is, and commend you and everyone else here for taking steps to move in that direction, no matter if they're just starting their journey or are many years down the line with it.

I've actually wanted to hurt myself for sometimes now, however finding this thread and reading some of the things on it, and talking to my friends has helped some. I honestly feel like I've had so much anger that I can't get out just build up inside of me, along with depression. So I guess I feel like it would just help me get some of that anger out, even though it wouldn't be all that good for me physically.

I had a friend in seventh grade who cut herself with a knife and threatened to kill herself. She said this to me outright, but when I tried to get her help she rejected it. A year later she went through with suicide. I was devastated. I went into a period of grief which lasted several years. I believe that people think it's the only way to ease the internal pain, but I also know that self-harm is not okay, and if you see someone doing it you should get them help, regardless of whether or not they want it.

For the first time in almost nine years I am clean for several months now, thanks to my husband. It is a very very hard thing to divorce yourself from, as it becomes a go-to reaction to reaching an emotional state for some (like myself). It leaves you with horrendous scars and medical bills in a lot of cases. But anyone can heal. They just have to be ready to. I don't think bringing up someone's scars to them is really safe or appropriate unless you are considerably close to said person. I've had strangers or estranged family ask about mine and it's infuriating and uncomfortable more than anything.

If you're someone who has 'considered' self harm before, please don't start. It's not a safe road to go down and there are much safer and healthier ways to cope with your stress or mental illness.

To all of the people who have commented about how wrong it is for people to joke about this, first off I want to say that yes, in general, it is a mean and offensive thing to do. For people who have never experienced it, I agree wholeheartedly to the statements people have made that it isn't funny and shouldn't be made light of, and of course everyone should be careful of what they say in public places where they don't know who might be listening or what emotions might be brought up. But, at the same time, it is important to know and remember that for some people (like myself) making "jokes" about things like depression, self-harm, and suicide can be as much of a coping mechanism as the actual self-harm. Also, for people who are not comfortable with people knowing that they have these thoughts or have even acted on them and try to hide them (again, like myself), talking about these things in a light-hearted fashion can feel like talking about your problems without having to come clean. I have heard some awful things regarding this topic, but I have also said some things that I regret in situations like those I described above. But when I said them, I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I was honestly just trying to process my own emotions and find support in any way that I could. So, while I do agree that self-harm is a very serious issue that people who are uninvolved in should never joke about, I also think that if you hear someone making light of it, you should consider the possibility that they are trying to protect or help themselves before making the snap judgement that they must be an awful person. While some people don't understand and say hurtful and disgusting things, it is entirely possible that someone else is making the exact same joke as a cry for help.

Well, here's my two cents on it:

I've self harmed for about 3-5 years, depending on your definition (I've been clean for a week). There are many reasons people do it, such as:
-for attention
-to distract themselves
-they've become addicted
-plain masochism
-to prove to themselves what they're feeling is valid
-and so on..
That being said, I did it for most of the above, even if I didn't realize at the time. If someone self harms once, it's like using a drug as a coping mechanism. The problem comes when they become addicted to it. It sounds strange to most people, but it is addicting since, even though you aren't pumping chemicals into your body, you are still triggering a euphoric response. Also, many people will joke about it. Sometimes those jokes are genuinely just jokes, but sometimes they can be cries for help. I hope this was helpful.