MagiStream

MunchyRawr wrote:I had an ex that was abusive in several different ways. I was with him for a total of about three years. I didn't even necessarily want to be with him that whole time, but with him threatening to vandalize my mother's house, and then later trying to kill me, I had no choice.

Of all the things he did to me, breaking down my self-esteem and changing my entire mentality about things were the worst. I started smoking cigarettes (even though I have asthma) because of stress from something significant that he did. When I started I was 16 and smoking a pack a day. I wanted to drown myself (I was with family in Florida at the time, there was a pool). I don't smoke anymore because my current (amazing) boyfriend has very strong chronic asthma.

I never had the guts to actually leave scars or anything, but I used to scratch at my eyelids and face A LOT. And my hands too. The fact that I didn't have the guts to inflict a deep wound made me even more depressed.

I don't self-harm anymore, but I occasionally think about it. I'm fairly convinced that I'd be clinically depressed if I just went to be diagnosed, but I unfortunately have had bad experience with counselors and so I will not speak with one unless I feel it is absolutely necessary.

I'm sorry you had to cope with that but I'm so glad you've got a good boyfriend now!

I have been self injuring the past four years. It started because of a very complicated relationship with my father and a really mean guy in my class who bullied me lots. Since that it has always been my way of coping, even though I try really hard to stop. I have been able to not do it for 18 weeks now, so I guess that's a good thing.

It have really affected my life in negative ways. I have scars all over my thighs, and that makes it hard for me to wear shorts in the summer. When I had fresher wounds it really hurt to shower and sometimes even to walk. So my life quality now is much better without the constant pain and all of that, but I still feel the need to do it some times. A lot of stuff have happened the past month, and it doesn't make it easy for me to remain clean, but I am trying.

I wouldn't recommend self harm to anyone at all. It might seem like the right solution in the moment, but I promise you will regret it for the rest of your life. There are so many other ways to cope, you can draw, read, watch movies, play games or even just go for a walk. Anything that doesn't harm you is fantastic. And as cliche as it sounds, it will get better. I know whoever who really wants to can get a better life, all they have to do is work for it. It's never easy, but nothing is impossible. Find your distraction and be happy.

If you struggle, feel free to message me, and know that you are not alone

I don't regret my scars. Most people do though? At least that's what the internet says. I'm confused. I guess I don't regret my cuts either. I only regret them when my best friend sees them(which is only when I let him). Cuts me to the bone how disappointed he looks.

I've had a very happy life. I don't want to hurt myself at all, but I was wondering, what would drive someone to do that sort of thing? I can't understand it...

TheEmbodimentOfKarma wrote:I've had a very happy life. I don't want to hurt myself at all, but I was wondering, what would drive someone to do that sort of thing? I can't understand it...

Well when someone hurts inside it can't be fixed with some medicine and a bandaid. When you cut everything is gone. Stress, abuse, hateful people, pain. Sure it hurts physically but the pain in your heart is gone. But when you stop it's even worse. Now add guilt to the pain. And that's how we get addicted you know, maybe I'll feel better afterwards, maybe this time it'll work. Never does I know from experience.

And then some people do it for the blood or other reasons.

TheEmbodimentOfKarma wrote:I've had a very happy life. I don't want to hurt myself at all, but I was wondering, what would drive someone to do that sort of thing? I can't understand it...

well for many people is that the pain on the inside( emotionaly ) that makes them /me do it.Instead of feeling the pain on the inside it will make the person feel the pain on outside.Many people use that pain to feel alive when they feel empty inside, as well as when they are punishing themselves. Another possibility which is really really effective is by an very very big event in their life that made them in result do this, while others is caused over time.

BULLING is one of the biggest why people do it. Self harm is just 1 step away from suicide depending of how much that person is in it and his/hers situation

ImNotOkay wrote:

TheEmbodimentOfKarma wrote:I've had a very happy life. I don't want to hurt myself at all, but I was wondering, what would drive someone to do that sort of thing? I can't understand it...

well for many people is that the pain on the inside( emotionaly ) that makes them /me do it.Instead of feeling the pain on the inside it will make the person feel the pain on outside.Many people use that pain to feel alive when they feel empty inside, as well as when they are punishing themselves. Another possibility which is really really effective is by an very very big event in their life that made them in result do this, while others is caused over time.

BULLING is one of the biggest why people do it. Self harm is just 1 step away from suicide depending of how much that person is in it and his/hers situation

Thank you for being smart.

Muruki wrote:I don't regret my scars. Most people do though? At least that's what the internet says. I'm confused. I guess I don't regret my cuts either.

Was just about to say something like this. Often people say "I did it once and it was the WORST decision I've ever made!!!" but I've done it a couple times (nonregularly) and I don't really care about them.

Then again, I do them on my legs / upper thighs where they aren't visible unless I'm lacking clothing in those areas which is very rare.

Anyway, I usually do it when things get overwhelming and I don't know / can't imagine how else I would cope. I usually sort of wish I could inflict instantaneous bruises because I like them better and they're a lot less conspicuous, but they require more work and don't even show up very often on me.

I'm sorry you self harm

ImNotOkay wrote:

TheEmbodimentOfKarma wrote:I've had a very happy life. I don't want to hurt myself at all, but I was wondering, what would drive someone to do that sort of thing? I can't understand it...

well for many people is that the pain on the inside( emotionaly ) that makes them /me do it.Instead of feeling the pain on the inside it will make the person feel the pain on outside.Many people use that pain to feel alive when they feel empty inside, as well as when they are punishing themselves. Another possibility which is really really effective is by an very very big event in their life that made them in result do this, while others is caused over time.

BULLING is one of the biggest why people do it. Self harm is just 1 step away from suicide depending of how much that person is in it and his/hers situation

I get bullied a lot. I've never had any thoughts like that. Then again, I'm a fighter, and always have been, and would rather die fighting then go out peacefully.