Gender and Identity

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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby fishofdeathtiny » July 18th, 2012, 12:18:53 pm

In my opinion, you can be bi even if you're not sexually attracted to both genders/have dated both genders.
I consider myself bi because I wouldn't feel ashamed about dating a girl if my life ever went that way. Just a quick opinion :)
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby lai0001 » July 18th, 2012, 11:15:36 pm

There are so many factors that can affect ones sexuality that it makes it impossible at this point in time to say where it comes from. i have recently heard that scientists think they might have discovered the 'gay gene'. the only thing that is really know about the gay community from a science point of view is that they have a higher incidence of bullying and murder due to their sexual orientation. Humans seem to be naturally close minded and for those who don't bother change that someone of a different sexual orientation is seemingly intimidating.

In my group of friends there is 9 boys, two of whom are out, one being gay and the other bi. Of the 13 girls 6 are bi and 2 are flexible heterosexuals as well as the one asexual. People watch our group talking, see how we all flirt with each other and generally have fun, and shun us because we are secure enough in ourselves to be who we are. This seems to be a major theme in human society and i find it really worrying. We pride ourselves on our large brain power and yet we can not accept anyone who is different from the social norms (i know i am generalizing but i think in this instance it is justified).
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby Spectre » July 23rd, 2012, 10:46:04 pm

I feel ashamed not to have read anything other than this page and OP's post, however gay/bi sexuality IN MEN has been scientifically proven as something that happens either during birth or by choice. You see, when a woman is pregnant with a male, her body is also supplying minor quantities of male chemicals to start the fetus' development. As the male fetus is significantly different from the woman, her immune system believes it's a foreign entity and attempts to "feminize" it. The more times a woman has had a male child, the easier it is for her body to "feminize" the male, although it's still very random. I have no idea how it happens in girls other than by choice however.

Also, I think there's nothing wrong with people who aren't straight, as I've personally met a ton of gay guys who are very nice and polite, and honestly I can't see why some Christians would discriminate against them. I think we should just learn to tolerate and respect each other and use common sense if we want to live peacefully.
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby Torqueo » July 25th, 2012, 11:00:36 am

I think that gender and sexuality are based off of several different things, such as the environment, and the social aspect that is around the developing child, but I also think that gender, sexuality, and identity come about with a child's own sense of self when they develop it. I personally was raised in a very free environment. My mother wasn't gay or bi, but she didn't push me in any way, even when I asked her about different sexualities. I watched several kids in high school struggle because of was what expected of them and what they felt. I saw several of my peers wither under their parents forceful shaping, because they didn't fit into their parents mold. I even saw one of my friends, a straight A student who was very involved in activities and and afterschool clubs and such get disowned simply because she liked girls. Her pastor wouldn't even allow her into the church after her family found out. It tore her apart, and she dropped out of school shortly after. On the other hand, I've seen people come out and be supported in their choice, and flourish as an individual. Whether or not sexuality and gender is something that can be chosen or is genetic, I don't believe that people really have a right to judge a person based on their sexuality or gender. Their actions, yes, but not gender or sexuality.
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby Selethis » May 28th, 2013, 12:20:37 am

I'm a lesbian, and although I'm more than comfortable being identified as female, recently I've been having discussions with my partner and we both came to the conclusion that we feel as though we fit under the trans* umbrella to an extent. Here's an anecdote:

I've always been drawn to androgyny, and I present androgynous myself. My girlfriend, who has always presented very androgynous, decided to shave her head as an "F*** you!" to society, which I supported. She looks great. We have a couple friends who are also females with shaved heads and they like to wear wigs - one for cosplay, the other one, simply because it's easier than constantly dyeing and bleaching your hair into crazy colours. So, my girlfriend decided she's gonna buy a wig. Not to hide her bald little head, but just as an accessory she can put on or take off whenever she feels like it. She did - a long, black one - and she looks great in it, but she had concerns over whether I would still be attracted to her because it's so feminine.

That of course wasn't a problem, but the point of this anecdote was my realisation. When a girl dresses androgynous and/or masculine, sure, I find it hot - that's genderbending and genderbending is rad. But when my androgynous girlfriend dons a feminine wig, to me, she is genderbending too - because her gender identity isn't of a female to me, but of an androgynous female.

So, in a nutshell, we've been thinking about our gender identity a little more as of late.

Edit: No, this isn't why I have "Kraken" set as my gender... :P
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby Ashke » May 28th, 2013, 3:24:26 am

I used to view myself as a cis straight girl - that's the default I was given and gender identity and sexuality weren't really ever discussed at home or school when I was young - but now I've been reading up a lot on this topic and meeting a lot of fascinating non-cis people on the internet and really been more immersed in the topic, and I'm really not sure of my "identity" anymore.

And it's not that I'm confused, it's more that I just don't care. I identify most as a slightly genderfluid pansexual if I must label myself since I'm really having difficulties seeing the differentiating line between "masculine" and "feminine" itself now, not the societal norm, and I've always been a bit boyish.

As a teenager I often felt strange and sad about being a girl and not a boy - had I known anything about transitioning, I perhaps would have, but now I just.. don't care? Gender isn't an important part of my identity as a human being - it's simply inconsequential.

As for orientation, I simply cannot imagine anyone's gender identity or biological sex as something that could factor into whether I love them or not.

I think we all have a lot to learn and even more to unlearn, regardless of gender or orientation. A lot of bigotry and repression has been internalized by society. I personally struggled most with the concept that if masculine things can be gender neutral, so can feminine. Not that I couldn't understand it, but it was difficult to get "used" to it. :)

In any case, if someone's really interested in this topic, I have a lot of talk on this by wonderful people on my blog in these tags:
sexism - homophobia - transphobia
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby RenoSinclair » June 2nd, 2013, 1:39:36 pm

Sometimes I label myself as a female, but I am mostly more comfortable with being referred to as male. (Then again, this is probably because I have MPD and my alternative is male).

I haven't decided if I am pansexual or flat out gay, but I lean heavily towards the second. I can look at a guy and say 'oh he is attractive' and maybe even fantasize about what it'd be like to /be/ with him. But I don't think I could ever have a sexual relationship with a male and I find it hard to have an emotional one. My fiance and I have been together for over a year now and I know there are so many things that I find in her that I could never find in a man.

The strange thing? I feel that if I would have been born physically as a male, I'd still be gay. I'm sure it has something to do with wanting my partner to be more in tune with what I want, body and mind.
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby Silenxia » August 6th, 2013, 12:37:45 pm

It sounds weird to think that this could be anything Science related. To me It's just the feel of one person and how they handle it. I have a friend who is bi and I don't care. I love her like a sister and I supported her through the breakups with her boyfriend then later the betrayal by her for myself...I consider myself asexual, at least unless I am given a hint.

I have had crushes on boys but...I have uncertainies concerining others of the female gender (which I am), but I am not going to flat out say which I prefer, and neither will I consider myself bi for I don't know yet.

It does make me angry though how parents try to force ideas on their children. In my textbook when I was in psychology I read about gender orientation which is how parents try to get certain ideas on their kids. Dolls for girls, action figures for boys, and this goes with me.

When I was little, and even now I love dinosaurs (which was considered a boy thing), but I love my dinosaurs and I didn't care what they think.

One of my cousins (who is a boy) likes princess. I think in that case it's not because he's...(it's hard for me to use these words because I feel like it's not right to say it), but I think in this case he did it because a friend of his (who is a girl) like princess.

I think humans are the stupidest things because they are close minded on plenty of things, and because of this are troubles that can be avoided...

But I don't judge people for what they like. I only wonder about my own feelings...but I'll stick with asexual until then since it's the only one not attached to either side.
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby WillowPuma » August 16th, 2013, 11:04:22 am

If I have insulted you, please let me know!

Animals can be gay, or lesbian, or bi.
So I think it's a natural thing that sometimes happens.

Yes, it's sort of a... I dunno how to say this. It's an issue- but not for humans.
Before you get heated up, please let me explain!

Two people of the same gender cannot reproduce, right? Now, in the wild, the way to survive is- eat sleep, drink, reproduce- so that we don't die out.
So while that's an 'issue' when you're one of the last members left of your kind, or even if you're just in a herd of, i dunno, caribou, for humans, it's no problem.
We have more than enough people on earth (I can't believe I just said that.), so eat, sleep, drink- is pretty much the only thing that's left. 'Reproduce' comes as an instinct that's vital for survival.
So if reproduce is an instinct, you should probably listen to it- if you're a lion, or a panda, or a porcupine.

So that's why I think it's an 'issue' of sorts. But because we are humans (I hope) it's not an issue.
I don't mean it's an issue- sorry if ti came out that way. >.<

I can't explain myself. I probably came out all wrong- so please guys, I don't mean I have any problem with stuff like that. I'm just trying to explain... Sort of, what I think.
Please don't take this the wrong way!

P.S. Yes, I don't like to be judged. Just ignore me.... :t-corner:
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Re: Gender and Identity

Postby GamingGal » August 17th, 2013, 1:39:50 am

Spectre wrote:I feel ashamed not to have read anything other than this page and OP's post, however gay/bi sexuality IN MEN has been scientifically proven as something that happens either during birth or by choice. You see, when a woman is pregnant with a male, her body is also supplying minor quantities of male chemicals to start the fetus' development. As the male fetus is significantly different from the woman, her immune system believes it's a foreign entity and attempts to "feminize" it. The more times a woman has had a male child, the easier it is for her body to "feminize" the male, although it's still very random. I have no idea how it happens in girls other than by choice however.

While you're post is mostly true, the line I bolded is false, but first let me explain why.

In a book I read that dissected sexuality, it made a lot of points about what happens to the fetus while in the womb. What you have said is correct, to an extent. Simply because the mother's body has a tendency to feminize the male fetus' brain, this does not mean he will be born gay. It simple means he will tend to be a more effeminate man.

But this is not a solid truth. A male born after six brothers can still be the mountain man of the group because the femininity is in the brain and it is still a tendency, not a "you have to act this way" kind of thing.

With girls, it's kind of the same.

You see, in the womb, regardless of gender the fetus receives both masculine and feminine hormones that go to the brain. The amount of said hormones are never the same, nor can they be controlled by what the mother eats or how she acts or anything, but they affect which way of thinking the brain will tend to go to. A male can be born with a feminine brain, and a female can be born with a masculine brain. This being said, these tendencies will also affect which gender said person will choose to be with.

I hope I explained that well :|
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