Bullying (Sensitive Material)

This forum is for serious discussions of any kind.

Moderator: Hall of Speakers Moderators

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby Cyrelijean » March 14th, 2012, 10:49:47 am

What do you think causes children to act this way?

I think that people bully because they're insecure of themselves, depressed or have an inferiority complex of some sort. If a child isn't loved by his/her parents or come from a family with a history of domestic violence, abuse, poor economics or he/she have parents that drink a lot, they may bully others that are different because it lets them take their anger out on someone else. Some may need to feel that they are in control of the situation, if they don't have control of their every day life.

Why do you think teens and children feel better by ridiculing others?

As stated above, it lets them get rid of their frustration and/or their feelings against themselves or others.

If you are a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?

I was bullied a lot, yes. I didn't talk to anyone about it, but my parents did talk to the school's counselor about it. It didn't help at all. When I started my current school, however, I was sent to a counselor/psychologist, and I was finally able to get help. It only took 9 years for someone to take action, and I'm not satisfied with the time it took.

If you are an adult and have children have they had similar problems of teachers not doing anything about there bullying case?

I'ma pass on this one.

If you are an adult without children are you bullied at your workplace or college?

I'ma pass on this one too.

What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem? Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?

I haven't witnessed bullying, because I was mostly the target, and my school's pretty small. But to stop suicides and such, teachers should focus on the students, teach them about bullying and such, and be supportive if they see that a student isn't doing well. The schools should put more time and money into actually trying to stop bullying instead of talking about it.

Have you witnessed someone being bullied and helped them?

As I said, I haven't witnessed any bullying.

As a child have you ever been scared to go to school because of bullies?

Yes, I was. Some days I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed, so I faked illness to get awat from school. Some days were worse than others, and I actually had a breakdown once when I was actually going. I was half way there and just couldn't hold it in, so I simply started crying, turned around and went home, curled up in bed and slept/cried for the rest of the day.

Do you know anyone who may have committed suicide due to bullying?

I haven't by I myself was about to, and would have, if I hadn't met my current BF.

Were you a bully?

Can't say I was, no. I was afraid of most people back then.

How did you deal with bullying?

I shut it in and tried to ignore it. I didn't harm myself or anything, I just shut it in and didn't think about it.
Image
Currently busy with life/work. Replies might be slow.
Oh look, Jean has a tumblr too.

Image
Image
User avatar
Cyrelijean
CreaturesTrade
MagiStream Donor
 
Posts: 10217
Joined: October 30th, 2010, 5:08:22 pm
Location: Blasting four hundred cabbages off a mountain by yelling at them in another language
Gender: Male

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby TheStrangeWeirdo » March 26th, 2012, 8:55:45 pm

I was watching The Project earlier, and there was a segment about bullying. One expert gave the advice that you should do the unexpected. Two techniques were bark like a dog when the bully comes near, or if they want your lunch money, offer to buy them lunch (or have lunch with you).
He did admit that it doesn't always work, but hey, if what you're doing isn't working, you should be trying anything that might.

Edit: Here's a link to one of my favourite authors, Darren Shan. He responds to an email about someone whose life he changed through one of his books, Demon Thief, because the person decided to try something that the main character does to stop bullies - which is namely screaming out loud. So, here's the link.
http://www.darrenshan.com/news/article/ ... t-all-out/
ImageImageImageImage
Image
Click my eggs and I'll click yours! :)

Check out my story, The Carrow Chronicles!
54-the-den/137462-the-carrow-chronicles-a-magistream-story.html
User avatar
TheStrangeWeirdo
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 246
Joined: February 17th, 2012, 2:37:58 am
Gender: Male

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby Dauntless » April 6th, 2012, 12:27:31 am

Can I just say I believe that in most cases, it is false that the bully is bullying someone because of personal life. It's not a move, this is the real world. They do it because they find someone different, and they think that since they are different, it's wrong. Bullies pick one random person, find their weakness, and use it against them. It's so simple, but so serious.

It is very rare to find a bully that is doing it for family reasons and such. Sure, maybe they don't have the closest family, but it isn't the reason why they would bully someone. They do it to make some feel bad about them self.
Image Image
it's where
mydemons hide


PLEASE! Do not call be Daunt, do not call me Less, call me Dauntless.
"What didn't kill me, never made me stronger at all."
User avatar
Dauntless
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 7905
Joined: May 15th, 2011, 3:10:24 pm
Location: In your kitchen complaining that you have no decent food.
Gender: Male

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby SoraTheElf » May 2nd, 2012, 8:09:20 pm

•What do you think causes children to act this way?
They either have something going on at home like an older brother bullying them or an abusive parent, a bad past, they don't realize that what they say hurts others, or they are just plain mean.
•Why do you think teens and children feel better by ridiculing others?
I think it gives them a sense of power and control over their life. I think they do it to fit in. In a way, it puts up a front as if to say "Don't mess with me because this person could be you."
•If you are a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?
Yes this happened a lot. The bullies wer often the kids whose parents donated a lot of money to the school, so they could basically get away with murder.
•If you are an adult and have children have they had similar problems of teachers not doing anything about there bullying case?
Nope. I'm still in high school.
•If you are an adult without children are you bullied at your workplace or college?
Nope. I'm still in high school.
•What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem? Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?
I don't really know what can be done about the bullying problem. To decrease the number of suicides, it only takes one person being a friend. I try not to just watch someone get bullied, even though when I stick up for someone, they just turn around and bully me.
• Have you witnessed someone being bullied and helped them?
Yeah, but they just turn around and bully me for my efforts.
•As a child have you ever been scared to go to school because of bullies?
Not scared, but I didn't want to go to school. It hurt to much because no one liked me and a few boys called me names, like animal. Every excuse I could find to stay home, I used. I prayed for snow days or a cold just so I didn't have to go and face my tormentors that day. If I got hurt in school or got a headache, I begged to go home.
•Do you know anyone who may have committed suicide due to bullying?
No.
•Were you a bully?
No. Seeing people hurt, emotionally or physically, hurts me.
•How did you deal with bullying?
I basically shut my emotions down. I faded into the background. I read and play videogames. I listen to music. Anything to escape the reality of life. I lost a part of me, forgot who I was, died inside. But it is getting better. I listen to BOTDF, which has helped me realize that I don't really care what others say or think about me. It has given me my personality and confidence back. Now I don't dwell on the past as much, I live in the moment. I'm learning to be who I want to be and if others don't like it, well to hell with them.
Call me Steph.

Why does my Apple taste like Bubblegum??

Merry Christmas everyone. I have 8/25 gifts. (My wishlist is the rerelease giftborns I don't have or need a GB mate for or a female Ghost Leopard cub. Or any other creature I don't have.)

Image
User avatar
SoraTheElf
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 2880
Joined: November 20th, 2010, 3:42:14 pm
Location: On tour with BOTDF. <3 Lol I wish.
Gender: Female

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby sadistsmiles » July 4th, 2012, 8:59:21 pm

I've been bullied from grade school to third year high school. Only during my Senior year did I stand up for myself and fight back. Geez I'm slow. But at least I was able to stop it before it affected me too much. Thy used to bully me during grade school because I wad incredibly skinny, then I got fat during high school and the bullying got worse. Thank goodness I've stopped being bully material. What I learned is to never do what you don't want others to do to you. I have a friend who used to be a bully during grade school and got bullied in high school. She's turned over a new leaf, and I'm glad she has =]
You know how teachers tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

- Percy Jackson XD



My heart longs for you, my soul yearns for you,
but in all my pain and misery, do you even miss me too?
User avatar
sadistsmiles
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 36
Joined: October 28th, 2011, 8:48:05 am
Location: In my private prison in the Asylum, plotting out an escape plan

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby chubbychoco » December 28th, 2012, 11:03:15 pm

What do you think causes people to act this way?
The fastest and easiest way to feel big is to make someone else feel small. It's an emotional get-rich-quick scheme.

Why do you think people feel better by ridiculing others?
Power, plain and simple. The bully MADE them feel that way; they are CONTROLLING their victim's emotions. Their victim cannot be happy without their say-so. And why should they say so when it would end their power trip?

As a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?
In four and a half years of school, accounting for eight teachers, six proctors, one vice principal, and one principal, only two teachers ever did anything about it. The principal once made me apologize to my bully, because I spoke against her and it hurt her feelings. I told him I refused to do it, and he threatened to suspend me. My mother had to come to school and tear him a new one in order to keep me there.

If you are an adult and have children have they had similar problems of teachers not doing anything about there bullying case?
No kids of my own, but the teachers wouldn't do anything about my little brother being bullied, either. It took me and my two older brothers scaring the piss out of his aggressors to get them to stop.

If you are an adult without children are you bullied at your workplace or college?
No. By the time I'd hit college, I'd become so hardened and embittered by the bullies of my past, people would barely approach me, let alone attempt to antagonize me. I only became friendly again in the past three years, and I still assume the worst of people when I first meet them.

What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem? Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?
No. And I have a very low opinion of those who have. As for helping the problem, schools need to crack down on bullies - hard. It's like treating cancer. Excise the tumors/bullies, and you can start the long, painful healing process on the patient/victim.

Have you witnessed someone being bullied and helped them?
Yes. Though I could be cold towards some of the people who tried to help me (often because their help came with conditions which I wasn't always keen to meet), I would never stand to see my real friends bullied. If one of the people who liked to pick on me turned their attentions to a friend of mine, I'd quickly remind them who their target was. Led to a lot more suffering on my part, but a true sense of long-term accomplishment.

As a child have you ever been scared to go to school because of bullies?
Hell yes. You need to understand that in a class of thirty children, there were only six that did not pick on me, and they would do it all day, every day. All the rest of them would, either directly or by facilitating my bullies. I would do everything within my power to get sick so I couldn't go to school - I never washed my hands, I'd lick thinks I knew to be filthy and germ-ridden when no one was looking, I taught myself to recognize the signs of someone coming down with something and I'd do my best to catch it. Once I got sick, I'd try my best to prolong it (like eating rich foods when I was throwing up).

Do you know anyone who may have committed suicide due to bullying?
No, and I hope I never do. I'll spend the rest of my life wishing I'd killed that bully before they killed my friend/family member/passing acquaintance. Not that I could ever kill someone...religiously and emotionally, the burden would be too much.

Were you a bully?
I am ashamed to say that in high school, I fixed on two 'weird kids' and targeted them every time I was having a bad day. I wouldn't go out of my way to make them unhappy, but if I needed a mean-spirited boost and I came across them, I'd make a rude comment on whatever caught my attention that day. I am not ashamed to say that I apologized to them my senior year, and the three of us are now friends.

How did you deal with bullying?
I honestly don't think I did. I was an emotional wreck, always crying, desperate to stay home, all but unable to form any kind of emotional bond with anyone, and hating my parents for keeping me in that school. Had I not been too afraid to commit suicide (according to my religious beliefs, those who do so go to Hell), I wouldn't be here posting this. I'd have killed myself at ten years old.
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
User avatar
chubbychoco
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 478
Joined: April 13th, 2012, 1:20:03 am
Location: Cactus Hell, CA
Gender: Female

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby Ye1 » December 29th, 2012, 2:04:37 am

What do you think causes children to act this way?
bad situations at home such as money problems or parental problems, or having been bullied in the past.
Why do you think teens and children feel better by ridiculing others?
it makes them feel more like a winner, more like that higher power that was always beating them down
If you are a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?
I've been to the counselor, if that counts, and that comforted me and made me feel more welcome and not alone. Usually I solve my problems by these steps
1. get under a lot of stress
2. make a terrible mistake that could alter your entire future
3. get out of it somehow and tell myself I'll be a good girl
4. repeat from step 1
which has practically begun to kill me
What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem? Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?
Sme places need help. Support from the government, and really just money to hire better people
usualy it's me being bullied, and you think my "friends" have ever cared? They sit with the popcorn and watch, too selfish to interfere because they're scared about messing up their social life. I only speak what everyone else says behind other people's backs, and I'm hated for it.
Have you witnessed someone being bullied and helped them?
I try, but who cares about my opinion? No one ever listens.
As a child have you ever been scared to go to school because of bullies?
is has made my past two years in school living hell.
Do you know anyone who may have committed suicide due to bullying?
One of my guy friends who was being harassed by my other friends because they were all in love with him and he like one of them blah blah blah. I took part in it, yes, but I was also the first to apologize
Were you a bully?
for a while, I acted tough and mean because I wanted to fit in. Other people did it and were loved, but I was revoked.
How did you deal with bullying?
how am I supposed to? There's nothing I can say without someone turning my words against me.
axolotls are cool
Image
User avatar
Ye1
CreaturesTrade
MagiStream Donor
 
Posts: 2458
Joined: October 25th, 2011, 8:03:14 pm
Location: On the Cat Bus
Gender: Kraken

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby SolarRush » January 9th, 2013, 2:28:48 am

*What do you think causes children to act this way?
A lot of the times some bullies do it 'just because.' In my experience, my cyberbully thought she was 'helping' me and therefore she wasn't bullying in her mind. It's not just children, though. Adults bully kids online via FaceBook and whatever, for one reason or another.
*Why do you think teens and children feel better by ridiculing others?
If it comes to ridiculing, I believe it has to do with a few factors. One of which is a superiority complex: the need to feel better about themselves by pointing out someone else's flaws that maybe they don't have themselves. It also gives those who ridicule a sense of control, which continues on with the superiority thing.
*If you are a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?
...Well, no, matters were usually resolved. At least out 'there' in the world, the emotional damaged it inflicts remains.
*If you are an adult and have children have they had similar problems of teachers not doing anything about there bullying case?
Don't have kids.
*If you are an adult without children are you bullied at your workplace or college?
For about 4-5 months I was plagued by a cyber-bully, formally an individual I once called a friend. It pushed me to a limit I hadn't seen before, when all I felt was that if I just died, then I wouldn't have to deal with life anymore and everyone could go on their merry way. Depression, lack of sleep, and lack of interest in life ruined me socially and emotionally from all the hurtful words that were said. I have had many other run-ins with people striking me across the head with various objects, and for the longest time my weight/looks invoked near constant teasing. I feel like I could never trust anyone anymore, as those who I have trusted inflicted the most pain.
*What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem?
I'm not sure there will ever be a way to reduce it. Bullying has evolved as we evolve, from the playground to the internet.
Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?
Yes- not everyone has the courage to stand up to an aggressor.
Have you witnessed someone being bullied and helped them?
Yes.
*As a child have you ever been scared to go to school because of bullies?
Yes. I once could go to school care free, but that turned into paranoia to seeing my cyberbully or running into someone who might want to hurt me.
*Do you know anyone who may have committed suicide due to bullying?
I don't, thank God.
*Were you a bully?
I know I was a turd when I was younger, as most everyone is at one point or another, but I don't actively engage in bullying, no. I know the feeling someone gets when bullied and do not wish to spread that feeling.
*How did you deal with bullying?
I used to deal with it by myself. But the last time I did that I started thinking about the noose and my closet, the only thing keeping me from doing so being fear of the noose and the loss of my ma and family. I talk more with my folks now, who after the cyber bully issue have begun to pay more attention to me in the respect of behavior/mentality and have suggested finding someone else (counselor) to talk with. As for dealing with the bullies directly, I try to remain silent and keep my head down. Too often have my words been misunderstood and/or used against me- being mute would be a happy option.
Image
User avatar
SolarRush
CreaturesTrade
MagiStream Donor
 
Posts: 2171
Joined: October 17th, 2012, 7:48:07 pm
Location: My universe within insanity
Gender: Female

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby Crazyflight » January 10th, 2013, 4:53:22 pm

  • What do you think causes children to act this way?
    People most likely act this way because of immaturity. There's no "children" only in this discussion. Bullying exists everywhere, from preschool to nursing homes. People in general often feel the need to be better than someone else. Part of this urge is what brings the bullying into play. Unfortunately, bullying is the best way to belittle someone while making yourself seem more superior. It's a win-win situation for the bully, in their perspective. In real life, however, no one wins when they are bullies.

    To answer the question, we need to talk about children only. That's okay. Most bullying occurs in schools anyways. Kids usually begin to bully for real in grade school. In preschool, it might be not sharing or something like that. Maybe hitting or calling someone the S-word (stupid). Although that may technically be falling under bullying, one thing is missing. That is an imbalance of power. Bullies are almost always more powerful than their victims. The stereotypical example might be the big kid bullying the smaller, pudgy kid. However, there are many short and seemingly weak bullies. These people can be bullies because of "social class" in school. If they are respected by people because of the position they're in (lots of friends, popular, etc.), it is very easy to find someone to bully. That person can't be "insubordinate" to them. I know from experience many seemingly big kids who are reduced to tears from a child that is a full head shorter. They may not have that many friends. They may be shy or timid around people. They may just not be able to handle it. In any situation, the bully is stronger than the victim(s), and it may not be physical.

    Bullies may want to show off to someone. Beating someone up is one of the best ways to show off toughness. You may want to seem witty by slowly reducing someone with verbal bullying. Excluding someone from a social group or peer group may be something to laugh about with a little group of other bullies. Often, bullies are friends with other bullies. These bullies may not even directly bully the victim(s). However, they are just as bad as the bully, because they are followers who laugh along with the bully and make the victim feel like no one likes them at all.

Bullies are sick people. If you repetitively make someone miserable, there's something up. That's not healthy. Unfortunately, bullying is becoming more and more common. It's always existed, but now, people are becoming more aware of it. I'm glad people are making a difference.
Last edited by Crazyflight on February 8th, 2013, 4:21:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Crazyflight
CreaturesTrade
MagiStream Donor
 
Posts: 16637
Joined: October 25th, 2009, 8:22:05 am
Gender: Male

Re: Bullying (Sensitive Material)

Postby ShadowfangRyu » January 13th, 2013, 10:14:03 am

I'd just like to say a few things....
Some people don't understand what bullying even is. I've seen some people get insulted ONCE and cry that they were bullied. (I know this because one girl I was friends with once, she was just being a poor friend, so I pointed it out, and told her (not unkindly) that I didn't want to be friends with her any more. She began telling everybody I was bullying her.) Bullying, is defined in one or two ways.
Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. Or
Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally.- Thats the key word, repeated. I just wanted to rant because I hate it when people get insulted once, maybe by even the person they bully, and call them a bully.
I was bullied from elementary school till now. I have a lisp, and a 'lazy eye' (its a muscle deficiency, and it's not even the same THING as a lazy eye. I wish if people were going to make fun of me, they'd at least do it right -_-) I was bullied physically, and verbally. I've even had somebody who was close to me once accuse me of making everything up to get attention. Safe to say, I don't talk to HIM anymore. I'm not going to tell people any stories about it, because I'm not looking for attention, I'm looking to not be treated like an emotional punchingbag.
I really think that we need to crack down on bullies, make the laws stronger. I'm sure everybody has heard of Amanda Todd. People are STILL making jokes about her, I mean come ON people!?! What kind of sick, twisted, cruel people make jokes about a girl who killed herself. You're not even safe from it when you die, I guess. All I'm really trying to say, is people need to understand more than anything else, what a bully is, if they are being bullied, how to stop it, and what actions will be taken against it.
All I want for the holiday season, is to give some of you a world to loose yourself in. It has always been my dream to publish a story, and I'd love for you to take the journey with me. . . ALSO THOSE BEAUTIFUL NINE-TAILED FOX DONIS, I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU GOT ME ONE THANKS
Please read me, if you get the chance, share me, if you get the want, and talk about me, if you'd please <3
User avatar
ShadowfangRyu
CreaturesTrade
MagiStream Donor
 
Posts: 6074
Joined: July 25th, 2010, 9:23:06 am
Location: Learning archery, parkour, and being intimate to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Arctic Monkeys
Gender: Female

PreviousNext

Return to Hall of Speakers

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest