MagiStream

Okay, bullying is a known topic everywhere, but what about cyberbullying? Bullying on the internet. It's not known as much but still it is a serious matter. This bullying leads to suicide, as does other kind of bullying.
What do you think about cyberbullying? explain your opinions here.

I'm not familiar with this concept. And it's led to suicide? Can you cite some sources and details on this?

For discussion reference:

What Is Cyberbulling Exactly

"Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.

The site does mention that children have killed or committed suicide because of cyberbullying but it has no specific citations regarding actual incidents. It does have some excellent information on how to prevent cyberbullying, what to watch for, and what the laws in various states in the US are regarding these activities. The site breaks it down into the various media which can be used in the activity and how each works.

There's also a specialized type of harassment called cyberbullying by proxy in which the person doing the bullying recruits at least one other child, usually, more to do the bullying for them.

Cyberbullying

As adults, we're becoming more aware that the "sticks and stones" adage no longer holds true; both real world and online name-calling can have serious emotional consequences for our kids and teens.....A 2006 poll from the national organization Fight Crime: Invest in Kids found that 1 in 3 teens and 1 in 6 preteens have been the victims of cyberbullying. As more and more youths have access to computers and cell phones, the incidence of cyberbullying is likely to rise....Severe or chronic cyberbullying can leave victims at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and other stress-related disorders. In some rare but highly publicized cases, some kids have turned to suicide.

This is an article from a kid's health site aimed at parents. Includes an explanation of the technology involved, signs of cyberbullying, awareness training, and steps for stopping or preventing it. Also includes a useful section for parents who find out that their child is the one engaging in online bullying.

The National Crime Prevention notice on cyberbullying

The Cyberbullying Research Center

This site has all kinds of statistics and collections of stories involving the impact of cyberbullying on the targets. The nice thing about this site is that it collects statistics from around the world, not just in the US. Includes a fact sheet on the laws about cyberbullying in various places.

To bully is to fulfill our primal urge to establish dominance in our group. Yes, sometimes people bully because they feel bad about themselves. However, it's mainly instinct.

The only thing we can do is teach our people to use non-violent methods to establish dominance. The drawback is that these methods are often more vicious and less obvious.

What do you think causes children to act this way?
Peer pressure, self-esteem issues (low self-esteem), wants to impress a girl (or, alternatively, make a rival for that girl's affections seem dumb or whatever), bored, dislike of the child being bullied, there's a wide variety of reasons.

Why do you think teens and children feel better by ridiculing others?
A bit of fun, maybe, or so they can take the weight off themselves. Like if someone thinks they're fat, then they go bully a fatter kid, or something.

If you are a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?
Never been bullied (except verbally, but I have a quick wit and often send the insults rebounding off their stupid little heads, so they leave me alone).

What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem? Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?
None. Nope. I do think that the person being bullied needs to get some self-esteem and stop getting hurt over insults from some random kid they obviously don't even like, and probably never liked.

Have you witnessed someone being bullied and helped them?
In both my secondary and primary school I have never witnessed bullying (except for some light verbal abuse). Depending on whether or not I liked the kid, I either helped or hindered.

As a child have you ever been scared to go to school because of bullies?
My mother often thinks there's a problem because I don't like going to school, but no.

Do you know anyone who may have committed suicide due to bullying?
Nope. Someone I met online said they were going to, but they've said it before and they're still there.

Were you a bully?
Yes. I've done it online to people I dislike. Maybe some light verbal abuse on some kid that annoys me or something, but nothing really serious.

How did you deal with bullying?
Retorts help a lot. If you have the quick wit to send an insult back at the bully in question, rebounding off their skull, their friends usually laugh at them or something, and they'll soon leave you alone. Alternatively, if you have the skill to seem nonchalant, and you have the self-esteem to accept who you are, then you can also just go along with it.
"Yea, I know I'm fat. So what?"
"Yea, I'm homosexual. What's your point?"
Etc. They'll get bored of it because you aren't reacting and you don't seem to care (even if you do).


I'd also like to disagree with this statement:

The victims need to know that first, it's not their fault, and second, it's not true.

That is almost always untrue. Often the bullies pick on things that are known. Like, "You're fat!". It IS true, you just need to either change that (go to the gym, or go on a diet), or accept it. Sometimes a bully will say something about your sexuality - if that isn't true, then why get upset about it? If it is true, then accept it. So what if you're gay/bisexual?
Other than sexuality, often it is your fault. So you can't read well. That's not your fault, but it IS your fault that you haven't done anything about it.

The truth is harsh.

TheStrangeWeirdo wrote:What are some ideas you may have to decrease the number of suicides/ help the bullying problem? Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied and stood there and just watched?
None. Nope. I do think that the person being bullied needs to get some self-esteem and stop getting hurt over insults from some random kid they obviously don't even like, and probably never liked.

It's not that easy, hun. As you've said you haven't been bullied, it might be harder to understand. When people constantly break you down, it's not easy to simply "get some self esteem", especially when you've never had any in the first place. Confidence and self esteem can't be bestowed upon someone, it has to be built.
Building walls is hard when bulldozers keep knocking them down.

TheStrangeWeirdo wrote:I'd also like to disagree with this statement:

The victims need to know that first, it's not their fault, and second, it's not true.

That is almost always untrue. Often the bullies pick on things that are known. Like, "You're fat!". It IS true, you just need to either change that (go to the gym, or go on a diet), or accept it. Sometimes a bully will say something about your sexuality - if that isn't true, then why get upset about it? If it is true, then accept it. So what if you're gay/bisexual?
Other than sexuality, often it is your fault. So you can't read well. That's not your fault, but it IS your fault that you haven't done anything about it.

The truth is harsh.

Is being ugly my fault? That's what I get called quite frequently, and there's nothing I can do to change it. I've tried make-up, tried different hairstyles, and different clothes but nothing seems to make people happy. So, I guess it's my fault for being ugly, then.
It's also my fault that people think I'm a whore, right? Just because after breaking up with my abusive boyfriend, I started hanging out with another guy.
And my seven year old sister who's overweight due to health issues out of our control. It's her fault too?
And my eleven year old sister who gets called "Demon" because of her beliefs.
The truth isn't always known in many cases.

/steps off soapbox

Well, yes, but you must see the word 'often' is used about three times.
It's not your fault that you're ugly. If something isn't your fault, you accept it, as I said in my post.
I don't mean to be rude or offensive, but I think you really need to read posts carefully and fully understand what the person is saying before you start replying.

I have been bullied. I said I was verbally abused at times, but I soon got rid of it because of the reasons I gave.
I do know what it's like. I think everyone has been bullied at one time in their life, no one is perfect, everyone has their faults.

I'm sorry if you feel offended but I am inclined to disbelieve that you and your family have so many problems. Your seven year old sister is overweight due to health issues out of control, your sister is called a demon for her beliefs (even though I know of no religion which would constitute people to say that, other than some sort of voudon cult, or whatever), you are ugly, or so you say, and you're called a whore because you broke up with your abusive boyfriend and started hanging out with another guy. If he's a friend you knew from earlier, then I don't see why you would be called a whore, because people would know you're friends.
First I'd like to ask at what point someone who is frequently called ugly would get a boyfriend, and why such an abusive prick would associate with someone who is frequently called ugly, even date them. The girls at my school are not called whores even though most of them have gone through just about a dozen boyfriends within the year, and you're just hanging out with a guy (you didn't mention dating). I'd also like to call into question how you suddenly regained faith in the male gender after an abusive boyfriend (as most girls are put off dating for a while at least, or in extreme cases permanently).
Only one problem (with the seven year old sister) seems likely, and all four problems together seem just unlikely to me (though not impossible, I guess).

I'm not trying to make this into an argument, just pointing things out. Nor do I mean to offend.

TheStrangeWeirdo wrote:Well, yes, but you must see the word 'often' is used about three times.
It's not your fault that you're ugly. If something isn't your fault, you accept it, as I said in my post.
I don't mean to be rude or offensive, but I think you really need to read posts carefully and fully understand what the person is saying before you start replying.

I have been bullied. I said I was verbally abused at times, but I soon got rid of it because of the reasons I gave.
I do know what it's like. I think everyone has been bullied at one time in their life, no one is perfect, everyone has their faults.

I'm sorry if you feel offended but I am inclined to disbelieve that you and your family have so many problems. Your seven year old sister is overweight due to health issues out of control, your sister is called a demon for her beliefs (even though I know of no religion which would constitute people to say that, other than some sort of voudon cult, or whatever), you are ugly, or so you say, and you're called a whore because you broke up with your abuse boyfriend and started hanging out with another guy.
First I'd like to ask at what point someone who is frequently called ugly would get a boyfriend, and why such an abusive prick would associate with someone who is frequently called ugly, even date them. The girls at my school are not called whores even though most of them have gone through just about a dozen boyfriends within the year, and you're just hanging out with a guy (you didn't mention dating). I'd also like to call into question how you suddenly regained faith in the male gender after an abusive boyfriend (as most girls are put off dating for a while at least, or in extreme cases permanently).
Only one problem (with the seven year old sister) seems likely, and all four problems together seem just unlikely to me (though not impossible, I guess).

I'm not trying to make this into an argument, just pointing things out. Nor do I mean to offend.

But the only exception you provided was sexuality. That made me believe that was the only exception you knew of.
And it's not always easy to accept things, especially when people constantly give you differing opinions. (Some people will lie and say you're not fat/ugly/lame, while others will tell you the opposite.)
If I didn't fully understand your post, it's because I'm not very intelligent and I apologize for that. Bullying is a very sensitive topic for me, and I get a little overheated about it.

TheStrangeWeirdo wrote:If you are a child/teen have you ever went to a discipline teacher at your school and tell them your problem but they haven't done anything about it?
Never been bullied (except verbally, but I have a quick wit and often send the insults rebounding off their stupid little heads, so they leave me alone).

Never been bullied. Verbally abused. That's what the post says, that's what I gathered.
Not everyone has the ability to repel bullies, and many people have bad experiences because of this inability.

My ex wanted someone he could pick on, berate, and belittle without them ignoring him. I was the perfect victim, so he asked me out. He basically ignored me unless he was mocking me. That's great for the girls at your school, but if a girl at my school has a boyfriend yet still talks to other guys, she is called a whore. And I "regained faith in the male gender" because I know that not everyone is like that. I can't distrust everyone just because I've had bad experiences with a few. I'm also a very forgiving person, to the point that I can't hold a grudge against anyone no matter what they did.
My little sister is Pagan, as am I. When she explained this to her class (Who at the time was bashing anyone who didn't believe in God), they flipped. The sixth graders jumped to conclusions, as they didn't understand what she meant. For quiet some time, she was called a demon because they didn't understand.
And my seven year old sister has problems with her thyroid.
My family has many problems. We all have our issues. As unbelievable as it may seem, we're a problematic family.