I have DID. There's 7 of us.

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I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Hectrae » January 12th, 2017, 12:39:25 am

So.. here's the deal. I have DID. Dis-associative Identity Disorder. It means that I have multiple entities living in my brain, and I can become different people. I've been this way since I was 4 years old, at least thats when the first one came. I've never had a proper diagnosis, i've hidden it as best i could. next week I'm going to a psychologist for the first time and i'm going to get help. I thought that I would practice talking about it on here before I go in and have them pick my brain apart.
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Fuiuki » January 13th, 2017, 4:08:54 pm

7 people in one head sounds like a lot! I don't have anything remotely like you myself, so I can't exactly relate, but I have been to psychologists, and I just wanted to tell you that they only want to help you! It may feel like you're gonna be some kind of curious test subject (just assuming you feel this way), but I promise that they will do what they can to help you, to be a happier and mentally healthier person!

So if you want to practice talking about it, how about some simple questions? Like... what happend when the first one appeared? Was it just out of the blue, or a gradual process? Did perhaps something happen that triggered it (that you're comfortable sharing)?

Just remember though, no matter what's going on with you and your head, it's a big, brave step to go seek help! You deserve all the praise for doing so ^_^ and of course, only share what you're comfortable talking about!
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Hectrae » January 13th, 2017, 5:20:31 pm

Thank you. The first one came when I was 4. I dont know what triggered her, and she wont tell anyone. She says it's better that I dont know. And I didnt find out about them until I was 17.

My parents used to yell at K for trying to say that she wasnt me, so she just pretended she was me.

L came when I was 12.

J, B and S when I was 18

C when I was 25

And A a few months ago.

most of the triggers wee some kind of abuse. L came when my eating disorder started. J B and S were because my ex husband were abusive. C came because she's preparing for the appocalypse? shes a little strange even to me lol.

A is the only man, and he came to comfort J because I started dating a new man and shes scared of men. I dont know how A helps her, considering he's a man, but she likes him, and has stopped screaming at my boyfriend.

'm fine answering questions. it's easier that way, because i don't really know where to start. It's easier talking about it on here, because no one here knows my face. people in my life dont understand :S
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Fuiuki » January 13th, 2017, 5:44:14 pm

I guess, if K appeared at such a young age, it's possible you experienced something no four-year old should, and it was your way of coping. It does seem that they all appear to protect your mind after traumatic incidences, which isn't unheard of I think. I don't know if you even want them gone (or just more manageable), but perhaps they would go away if you somehow dealt with the experiences and got past the trauma. That would, of course, be a very difficult feat.

On to a different question then: how are they as people? And what relationship do they have with each other? I'm also curious, how do they manifest, in a way that they can communicate? As I'm assuming they can, from A wanting to help J.

Just a thought, but it's possible that A is a man as a way of coping with and showing that men aren't inherently a problem, it was only one specific man that really hurt you when J appeared (I assume).


I'm sorry to hear people don't understand. It's always hard to relate to things that doesn't happen to oneself, especially when nothing is really like it enough to relate. While I won't claim to understand what you're going through, I'd like to help best I can anyway, because I know it's at least a tough thing to get through. I would say "get through alone", but that is the problem, isn't it?

On that note, one more question: does it tire you out that there are several people in your body? I imagine it's not easy on the mind to deal with.
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Hectrae » January 13th, 2017, 6:08:41 pm

Honestly, I dont want them gone. I just want help managing them. They're pretty good most of the time, but when i start having a hard time, they tend to stop follow the rules and come out every time they think i cant cope. And it's not helping me learn to cope with stress on my own. They're my best friends, my family.

Its like a sorority common room in my head haha. we are all in here and talking . we all interact with each other. sometimes one goes to their room, or c a couple go to room to have a private discussion, but usually theres about 5 different conversations happening at the same time.

I think that is how A is. He's very gentle with her, and roars like a lion is anyone of us tease her. we tease her because shes totally and cmpletely prim and proper, like she came out of a better home and garden magazine. and a clean freak. but its all fun and games, were not mean. It was my ex husband who "created" her. he used to rape us.... so she came and started submitting to him because thats what he wanted... and it started being tht way with most other men. if i started feeling uncomfortable around a man, she would come out and be submissive. A is rying to show her that she doesnt have to do it anymore i guess. that not all men want a submissive woman..

hahah it can be lonely. i'm never alone, but it has been lonely. i cant really talk to real people about it.. i have a few friends now who know, and my new partner knows, and he gets along really well with them. but yeah, it is exghausting
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Fuiuki » January 13th, 2017, 6:18:57 pm

I understand, I suspected as much. I do hope talking to a psychologist helps you manage them better! It seems a concern right would be to make them back off a bit in stressful situations, so that you can grow too, if I'm understanding you correctly.

I know we have to keep this discussion PG13, so if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about this privately, I'd be glad to help, should you ever need it.


So, what kind of steps are you prepared to take to manage this better? Are you leaning more to therapy, just talking to a psychologist, getting medication, or are you just seeking to understand yourself better by getting a proper diagnosis?
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Hectrae » January 13th, 2017, 6:24:41 pm

I'm open to everything except medication...I've been on too many meds over the years because of my seizures, which turned out not to actually BE epilepsy but another form of disassociation. And i dont manage well on meds. sometimes it makes them quiet, and thats worse than when they're all yelling. and i'm allergic to most sedatives. well... im open to some meds as a last resort.

Thank you so much for talking with me. I really do appreciate it.
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Fuiuki » January 13th, 2017, 6:28:51 pm

I see, that can be quite a problem then. Perhaps finding out coping methods together with a therapist would be a good alternative then?

I can understand the medication aversion though, my mother reacts badly to them as well, so I know a fraction of the trouble at least.


No problem, I'm glad if it helped! I know anything that has to do with your mind is difficult, and very real to the person experiencing it, so if there's any way I can help, I'll gladly do so. I hope putting answers into words help, I know it can be lots easier to talk about it if you've already gone through it a bit first :3
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Hectrae » January 13th, 2017, 6:35:27 pm

It definietely does. I'm so worried about going in to my therapists office and tripping over everything and making a bigger mess lol

also worry for my kid's sakes. we all love my boys, and take care of them. which is part of why im seeing a therapist now. I want to make sure that we don't affect them.
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Re: I have DID. There's 7 of us.

Postby Fuiuki » January 13th, 2017, 6:47:12 pm

I think you're definitely not alone in being worried about messing things up, I think my own bf has the same worry. Just keep in mind, they ARE proffesional, and it's exactly their job to walk people through this, even when they don't know where to start. When I talked to a psychologist, I found it helped to have a list written down of points I wanted to bring up, perhaps you could talk to the others and write one together?


It's a good thing to put your kids first, it'll definitely help keep you motivated to power through this. My thought is that if they are affected, just make sure all of you show that you love them and care about them, even if you are more than one person. Also, when they are older (and I'm talking in their teens or more, perhaps), don't be afraid of talking about things with them. As a child of troubled parents myself, it tears at me when I can't help my parents, as they don't open up about some things, and open up too much and explosively about others. They are people too, and they most likely love you and will want to help as well. Never underestimate the care of the people around you ^_^
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