MagiStream

Dear Tyler,
I’m falling deeper and deeper into this black hole of misery.
I know you would want me to unfold my wings and let them catch on the wind but they have been broken and clipped.
How much longer will I fall as my broken and tattered wings catch on dead air?
How much longer will I make it as my hands constantly shake?
You are zinnia to me, you fill me with mourning of your presence.
Your hands laced in mine.
Your arm around the back of my chair with your hand buried in my hair.
I am no longer filled with love and happiness and now I’m a wreck.
Now I am numb and cold.
Lonely and restless.
My mind is racing faster than a derby horse.
I want to pull back on the reins to make it all stop but I keep barreling forward.
Maybe one day you will no longer be zinnia to me but what you once were.
Joy and laughter.
Safety and sleep-filled nights.
Comfort and love.