MagiStream

Immortality . . . a daunting prospect. However, I have mastered it, controlled it. I cannot die. But, to give this to the rest of the human race . . . no. there are too many people out there who could do inconceivable damage to the universe. I have destroyed the formula, taken or destroyed my tools, and have left aboard my ship, the Socrates, and have set out to explore eternity beyond mankind.
I am centuries ahead of my time: my automatons are living being in every way except flesh and blood; my A.I., Jackson, is nearly as smart as I am. The Socrates is greater than any ship to be made by man, the archetype of the Pyrothrust engine in its stomach, almost two miles from helm to stern. Eventually, I know this ship would appear to be unusually small, but no craft will be as reliable as Socrates.
Today, I gaze into the endless heavens, knowing I will be able to go infinitely out there, and see every wonder of this universe, and of all of them beyond.

I am not giving it a 10. This work has potential, but there is little to know setting or characterization, the crucial elements to make a story stand out. But I'm not saying it's terrible, just that it needs some improvements here and there.

I agree with Espthec, as well. It seems as if you could go into more detail work on grammar and punctuation. Not being rude or critical, just helping a bit.