Need opinions and tips...

Share any written short stories, novels, or poetry

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Re: Need opinions and tips...

Postby Phenora » April 20th, 2012, 6:58:52 pm

Now, since we are on the topic of writing style as well, I might as well offer this: if you want to get a 'taste' of my writing style, maybe if it helps judge things like the new 'arguement', well here it is.

"A Snow Day at the Keep" - a short, short story written for a winter writing contest


"Cirque de La Puer" - i got bored and wrote this one. It might be a better example for what I am trying to show, though
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“And for another, real writing is a question of staring into space and waiting for the right ideas.” Fenoglio, author of Inkheart in Cornelia Funke's Ink Trilogy. Quote from the last book, Inkdeath



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Re: Need opinions and tips...

Postby TheStrangeWeirdo » April 20th, 2012, 8:06:09 pm

I think you spent a little too long setting the scene. It was cold, we got the idea, you didn't need to put in five examples (a little exaggertion). I'd rather that you cut out a paragraph or two and get straight to the action.

Didn't really read much of the second one, though it seems a bit like the Cirque Du Freak in The Saga of Darren Shan, for some reason.
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Check out my story, The Carrow Chronicles!
54-the-den/137462-the-carrow-chronicles-a-magistream-story.html
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Re: Need opinions and tips...

Postby Phenora » April 21st, 2012, 12:32:27 pm

Yeah...if anyone was exagerating about that one, it was you. There weren't five examples, as you call them, as to the cold. In the first paragraph it describes the scene outside, a bit, and about Anya and her Dire before it throws the characters at you and says "here they are! know nothing about them, accept it, and move on!" The second paragraph had two extra details about the cold, which was all it really said about the cold. I strongly suggest if you are going to critisize, not to exagerate.

As for the second one, I told you it was the better of the two examples. I had no deadline nor a set theme to go with. I simply thought of it and wrote it. Others have told me it is like that... series. I have personally hardly even heard of this other series except for what has been said when people commented on "Cirque de La Puer".
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“And for another, real writing is a question of staring into space and waiting for the right ideas.” Fenoglio, author of Inkheart in Cornelia Funke's Ink Trilogy. Quote from the last book, Inkdeath



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