Is this too gory?

Share any written short stories, novels, or poetry

Moderator: Tea House Moderators

Is this too gory?

Postby TOrideleKeto » December 31st, 2011, 12:31:13 pm

Okay. You get the idea of my question from the topic. I'm trying to write a book, meant for kids, both boys and girls from fifth grade to about Jr.High. The basic story is about a computer program that is trying to enslave humanity, and starts by sucking humans into a world of a computer game. The first spoiler is about a nightmare the main character is having.

Oh, just a foot-not, DON"T COPY MY IDEAS!!!!

Oh, to clarify, Nakka, Sira, and the Great face are evil. Jay is a little kid who stowed away with Josh on his escape from the slave quarters. Demetrius was Jay's closest friend, a big brother figure, who was killed, which bring us around to another subject- is Demetrius's death scene to graphic? Here it is
It's an honor to die brave and bold...
--Alexa Wilkonson, singing 1974
User avatar
TOrideleKeto
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 608
Joined: September 29th, 2011, 7:40:57 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Is this too gory?

Postby Raneth » December 31st, 2011, 12:44:58 pm

I'm not an expert on middle grade fiction, but it doesn't seem too gory to me. Middle grade can span everything from stuff like the Babysitter's club to incredibly dark works like "Go Ask Alice," so I wouldn't worry about what you have here. People in that age group can handle more than you'd think.

Of course, do keep in mind that gore should serve a purpose-don't drench your story in it.
Before Aran can fulfill his dream of becoming a respected mage, he must pass his final exam and bond with an ice dragon. He sets out on his journey and gets along well enough in Arkene-until he meets a highly unusual person with an equally unusual creature.

It’s not just magi that can form magical bonds.

ImageCheck out The Final Exam, my new MS story. Image
User avatar
Raneth
CreaturesTrade
Site Moderator
 
Posts: 7195
Joined: March 8th, 2010, 6:15:23 pm

Re: Is this too gory?

Postby TOrideleKeto » December 31st, 2011, 12:53:02 pm

Okay, thank you. Also, thank you for your warning, I try not to be too gory, but I grew up with being read all sorts of um...violent books, like being read the Lord of the Rings in first grade, so I may not be the best judge.
It's an honor to die brave and bold...
--Alexa Wilkonson, singing 1974
User avatar
TOrideleKeto
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 608
Joined: September 29th, 2011, 7:40:57 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Is this too gory?

Postby TxCat » January 7th, 2012, 7:26:37 am

I taught for those grades English literature. What you have there is fairly standard fare for them, not too gory at all. The one thing you want to do though is to make certain that the violence serves a purpose in the story. Most teachers and parents will not let their children read something which contains only violence and gore. Also, don't waste words. Five paragraphs, for example, describing how someone is disemboweled would be too much when you could simply say something like "His opponent slashed at his midsection and he watched in horror as his innards poured from the cut.". Focus on how the character feels or reacts to violence and you should be fine.
You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant. Harlan Ellison

Image
Image

DC: ImageImageImageImageImageImage Nyoka: ImageImageImage Flowergame: ImageImage
User avatar
TxCat
CreaturesTrade
HS Moderator
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: October 7th, 2010, 2:44:38 pm
Location: FoxHeart Acres, FL
Gender: Female

Re: Is this too gory?

Postby TOrideleKeto » January 7th, 2012, 12:21:01 pm

Thank you for your help.
It's an honor to die brave and bold...
--Alexa Wilkonson, singing 1974
User avatar
TOrideleKeto
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 608
Joined: September 29th, 2011, 7:40:57 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Is this too gory?

Postby dawnmist » January 26th, 2012, 1:51:52 am

I don't believe this is gory at all. A computer sucking humans into a game is futuristic in some way, but no blood is in the main plot. This is perfectly fine for 5th gr.+. Trust me, my little siblings read more complicated things than evil computers that had more blood. Totally appropriate. :D
Thank you for clicking! <3
ImageImage ImageImage
"Writing is something we are all capable off. All we have to do is take the pen and write the first word."
♀ + ♂ = <3
♀ + ♀ = <3
♂ + ♂ = <3
Love is love no matter what. Copy this if you think so.
User avatar
dawnmist
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 76
Joined: January 23rd, 2012, 12:06:13 am
Location: Achieving Union HQ, WP, Embresia
Gender: Female

Re: Is this too gory?

Postby TOrideleKeto » January 29th, 2012, 3:29:51 pm

Thanks. I'm looking to publish it someday. The entire story, not just a snippet.
It's an honor to die brave and bold...
--Alexa Wilkonson, singing 1974
User avatar
TOrideleKeto
CreaturesTrade
 
Posts: 608
Joined: September 29th, 2011, 7:40:57 pm
Gender: Female


Return to Tea House

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest