MagiStream

missshadedlove wrote:only way to get past tocophobic is to face it :/. and like Thylacina said, depending on your illness you kid might not get it.

While there is a school of thought that facing a phobia will eventually extinguish it (exposure therapy- not recommended in most cases), you're talking about asking someone to create a life to face a fear. What if she gets so far into it and just can't deal with the fear anymore? There's a cut off for abortion and she may not believe in it anyhow.

She said it best. It's her life, her body, and no one gets to tell her how to "deal with her phobia" or live her life.

I hope all goes well for you, and that hopefully you will not come across more people who will try to change your mind. I really don't see what the issue is with, instead of having kids and bringing more children into this ever-worsening world with our exploding population, adopting. But, being somebody who also refuses to have kids, it seems that most believe it to be a standard to birth at least one child.

Getting your tubes tied would also work. It wouldn't be a 100% guarantee, and you'd still have periods, but it's better than a full hysterectomy which throws off your hormones and all that. I don't want kids either, babies kind of gross me out for multiple reasons, so I can see where you're coming from.

So, as I understand it, Tokophobia is a dread fear of BEING pregnant. Not of being a mother. I have two friends, we are all in our 40s now. My fiend * Kat* never wanted the responsibility of raising a child in this world. The doctors still refuse to tie her tubes. Telling her( you guessed it), " you might change your mind." She loves my kids as her own. The other friend decided that she just didn't want to be pregnant EVER. No phobia, just a decision she made. There are many reason for deciding to not to get pregnant. I myself have 4 children. I loved being pregnant! My friends kinda share my kids. lol I have a wonderful bond with my children but there are other children I love very deeply. Adopting is a great way to be a mom and not have to deal with something that frightens you so very much. Also, a special bond with a child you give birth to is not always the way it goes. Some women have children that they don't want. There is no bond there. Kudos to you for knowing your own mind.

I mean, I absolutely would tell an arachnophobe to hold a spider (non-lethal variety of course). Facing your fears is the only way to get over them. So just yes.

Also that's completely idiotic, Silver (not calling you an idiot, but the doctors). I'm pretty dang sure, at least in the US, doctors can't just say 'no, because you might change your mind later'. At the very least, most places would have you see a psychologist first, and even that's likely to not be needed.

Also I've never met a birth mother that didn't have some bond with their child, even if they didn't want it to begin with or later. But that's just the people I've talked to. I could be wrong.

The only reason I would ever adopt, EVER is to have a positive impact on the world's overpopulation issue, and that's the only reason I think should be the case aside from anything that could kill you during the creation of a child, from start to finish.

Of course these are just my opinions, not things I force on others. It is your body, and you are free to do with it as you please.

Congrats! I hope you do get to adopt kids need a good home and someone to love them. Most don't care if they're adopted as long as they're taken care of
I hope you do what you want and find someone to go through with the procedure